So whenever I'm stoned or drunk
I write down funny things that people say, because I figure I won’t remember them the next day. So I have all of these great quotes people said stoned/drunk saved to the notes on my phone, and I figured I’d share some with you.
"What if when you set the pipe down, a meteor landed in the cul de sac, and we all caught on fire?"
"I’m not gay, but I’m for suggestions."
"Leviticus 9:11-Thou shall be a terrorist."
"I hid cigarettes in the front yard this morning."
"Trees have copious amounts of DMT in them. Therefore, trees are always dreaming."
"I’m a stoner aspiring to be a priest."
"How many licks does it take to get to the center of reality?"
"I’m the Ringo Starr of social skills; I’m failing epically, but I’m having fun."
"We should go see St. Vincent and then go give flowers to sick people."
"What if I was a street performer, but I played in a cul de sac and only got tips from people taking U-turns?"
"What would On the Road be like if Jack Kerouac had used a GPS?"
(While smoking in the car, "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles comes on)Stereo: "He blew his mind out in a car..." My friend: "That's what we're doing!"
"New rule to live by: If you ever think you're being irritated purposefully, do something outrageous incase you're being Punk'd."
"How many pots have you smoken?"