#shitdrunkpeoplesay

[gimmebtgg]

Tipsy dude asked me "Where the alt girls at"

I wish I knew buddy 😞

[michaelsmosey]

Can I ask where you got the sailor hat? Can I have it? My friend wants it and he's better looking than you"

Drunk Person

[livingwrong]

So whenever I'm stoned or drunk

I write down funny things that people say, because I figure I won’t remember them the next day. So I have all of these great quotes people said stoned/drunk saved to the notes on my phone, and I figured I’d share some with you.

"What if when you set the pipe down, a meteor landed in the cul de sac, and we all caught on fire?"

"I’m not gay, but I’m for suggestions."

"Leviticus 9:11-Thou shall be a terrorist."

"I hid cigarettes in the front yard this morning."

"Trees have copious amounts of DMT in them. Therefore, trees are always dreaming."

"I’m a stoner aspiring to be a priest."

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of reality?"

"I’m the Ringo Starr of social skills; I’m failing epically, but I’m having fun."

"We should go see St. Vincent and then go give flowers to sick people."

"What if I was  a street performer, but I played in a cul de sac and only got tips from people taking U-turns?"

"What would On the Road be like if Jack Kerouac had used a GPS?"

(While smoking in the car, "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles comes on)Stereo: "He blew his mind out in a car..." My friend: "That's what we're doing!"

"New rule to live by: If you ever think you're being irritated purposefully, do something outrageous incase you're being Punk'd."

"How many pots have you smoken?"