#shitty openers

[inboxofwoe]

I bet you are, buddy. I bet you’re very curious about it. Well today’s your lucky day! I’m going to tell you my secret... I’m SUPER pervert ;)

[inboxofwoe]

NO I DOUGHN’T!!! 

~*~*I’m a strong independent pizza who don’t need no man.*~*~

P.S. Bro, you’re 30. You’re too old for this shit. Allllll of this shit. You can’t undo that airbrush-stencil-bar-mitzvah-lookin-ass tattoo, but you can put on a shirt and use your big boy words. 

[inboxofwoe]

And for our first Inbox of Woe twofer: guys asking me if they are attractive. Or, “attravtive.” 

It’s messages like these that really make you wonder “Why do I expect anything good anymore? Why do I have a shred of hope for my inbox?” 

There is no hope. There are only men asking if they are “physically hot at all.”