#sho speaks

[infernaloracle]

Today might be my last, and I don't want to be dramatic and I don't want it to be in any way. I don't say it lightly. I've been working so hard full time to build a better life for myself. I got my dog all the way to Portland, I finally got away from an abusive relationshp, and now tomorrow I'm going to be homeless. I wasn't built for that, I don't think anyone truly is. I'm not going to survive it.

I've spent the last few months trying to be a better person for myself, a better practioner for all of you, and a better devotee to Lucifer. I tried my absolutely best, and I failed. I never wanted to fail him, or myself, or you.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know if some divine miracle is going to swoop in and save me. I just know, as far as I know, tonight is my last night with a bed. I need prayers, and help and hope but they are all in short supply these days. I love you all, and I'll try to keep you posted. But, with a broken phone and no wi-fi tomorrow I don't know how often that will be.

I love you all, if you want to check out my site I can only take payments through Paypal right now due to my bank shutting down my account. I will schedule you for today so that you won't have to wonder if you'll get your reading. LuciferianOracle tarot readings.

[chloexmorningstar]

anyway, here are some very serious quotes from lucifer i’ll never get over:

im lucifer morningstar, i can play the piano and i’m a FaNcY bRiTiSH mAN

i thought since i’d never likely penetrate you, i’d commemorate the one time you penetrated me

*intense music* welcome to devil time

two pump chump

no one calls my skank a skank!

hello, drug dealers! *in korean*

i am not cheap!

*screaming* LAPD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[infernaloracle]

Hi I wrote this poem today while I was stoned in a Trader Joes in Oregon to thank Lucifer for getting me out of a decade long abusive relationship and not letting that fckn jagoff get my dog. I am in the seediest motel money can buy, and it is kind of paradise to me right now. I'm just really happy to be alive rn, so, please read this poem about those moments in your life where the reality of how much you've changed and grown hits you like a mack truck. I'm proud of you for growing, in whatever ways you have. I promise you don't have to move across country to do that. Ilysm.

Stoned in a Trader Joes in Oregon

A poem by Sho Gideon

When I realized my life had changed

What struck me was how normal everything felt

A thousand miles away from a place that never felt like home

My story already exchanged with random strangers

As I looked at microwaveable meals

And I thought "I moved to Oregon, today."

2 months ago I wept on the floor of a house no longer my own

Begging the devil to help me find ways to heal from wounds that were still being created

He told me-

A leap of faith.

He would know.

Safety has always been a hard fought battle

That I've never won

The leap I took wasn't just onto a plane

My life contained in one suitcase

And a dog that has lived against as many odds as I have

We are battle scarred, and we are free now

Not free from worry, or stress

But free of a life that had no hope left in it anymore.

The street I walk down isn't my own,

I don't live anywhere-

But here-

In this moment.

Where I am.

The motel smells like shit,

And so do I but,

The Devil doesn't mind.

Safe In his arms,

Not just because he picked me up off that floor

But because I chose not to die on it.

When I realized my life had changed,

It had already been for so long,

From the moment

I asked a nefarious God for help

And he heard me.

He was the first one to ever do that.

If the world is cruel,

I will go out smiling

Blood in my teeth,

Like my daddy did before he took his own

Leap.

[infernaloracle]

Luciferian Real-Talk Anecdote: When I first started working with Lord Lucifer, I had to tell everyone I knew that I'd gotten a new therapist (I was still seeing the same one). But, my mental health had gotten so noticably better people I knew started asking me about it and I couldn't be like "Oh I just added communing with The Devil to my nighttime routine."

[infernaloracle]

As one who primarily does satanic tarot readings on the internet I can't tell my Catholic mother about, I was so pumped to tell her about the reading I had today with Archangel Michael. I was with Samael when I finally got a chance to be like "Hey guess who I just got to do a reading with!" because she's a big fan of him. I told her and she started excitedly praying the full Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel in front of me. She took me to CHURCH with it. When she got to the part about rebuking the Devil and casting out Satan, I didn't know what to do. I was holding back laughter and also horrified because this beloved adorable woman the size of a cake pop was praying the most metal catholic prayer and bringing the king of the exorcists to my very side. When she was done, I talked to her for a minute, glad that Samael was still with me. I had one second where I thought it might have gone unnoticed but when I heard the wings behind me I was like. Yeah, hey again. Guess we are hanging out today since my mother just invoked you to my side. I truly love my life sometimes even when it's a mess in every direction.

[infernaloracle]

Saying goodbye to the spirit of my cat, Rutabega. RIP old biddy. You were the best of them.

TW: mentions of animals that have died and past abuse.

The elder cat my ex got rid of to spite me when I left came to me in my dream last night to tell me she was dead. He gave her away in February, and I was hoping for her to not suffer. There was no way a bonded pair of eldery cats were going to survive such a change. I knew she was gone, too. She told me she was just waiting for her sister, Avocado to join her. The tragedy of this, of some man taking away the peace of animals I had my entire adulthood, broke my shit. I had done a cord cutting with him, but it went very complicated. I texted him about it, he knows im a witch and his greatest fear is me cursing him. I gave someone a heart attack with a curse once, I don't fuck around with them. I always mean them. So I texted him this:

"Rutabega came to me in a dream last night, to tell me she was dead. Thanks for being the worst person I have ever known, and you know that is saying something. When my curse finds you, may it be in your lowest moment, which I am sure will be any day now. I am blocking you after sending this."

It took 10 years and 2 dead cats for me to be rid of this man. He almost killed me twice, but this was what it took. I always value my loved ones over myself, and pets are no different. The unpacking of all that he was and did to me will take a long, long time. But I truly don't think he will be around to see when I've recovered from him. Thank you for reading, ilysm.

[infernaloracle]

*Reading something about the Rapture passing*

Me (to myself): Well, the rapture happened and I'm still here. Lucifer (unexpectedly, to me): I'm still here, too. *both of us cackling*

[infernaloracle]

I'm so cranky after banishment magic and I need to go get good food before moving places to stay, but my bank account is over withdrawn. 😭 Save me tumblr you're my only ho. Does anyone want a reading? 😭 I hate whining on the internet but if I can't go to you than who. I do have $30 3 pile Lucifer readings today as a very handsome deal. This is where my readings live Feed The Devil (And his husband) I'm delirious rn because I just hate banishment magic SO so much lmao. I feel punch drunk and I just sat in bed all night sweating. It's hard out here sometimes.