#showquote

[fart-in-a-cup]

I hate earth. It's a horrible home. People are stupid, they're always arguing about politics. Everyone is so busy arguing about politics, but no one is talking about how the earth is an egg

Solar Opposites, Season 2 Episode 5, Timestamp: 3:00. Said by Korvo in the opening credits

[fart-in-a-cup]

Shut up bitch, eat dirt

Said by La’vel on the MTV show, PARENTAL CONTROL, Episode 1

[delacrooze]

Oh, God. Lungs on fire. [panting] Ow. Crap. I hate this. Running is terrible. Everything is the worst. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. >It gets easier. >Every day, it gets a little easier. Yeah? >But you gotta do it every day. >That’s the hard part. >But it does get easier. [panting] Okay.

BoJack Horseman & random monkey from S2: E12

[chow-mind]

"I'm not straight! I'm just a gay man in a woman's body!"

LOOOLLL funniest thing ever xD

[thepurplepantsband]

Dear Carolina Crown,

My love for you has no limits, no bounds. Everything must have an end, except my love for you. Impossible you say? Sincerely, A Crown Hopeful

[akashiayakashi]

I know you're tired of waiting and you may have to wait a little while more. But she's on her way Ted, and she's gettin g here as fast as she can.

Stella

[akashiayakashi]

Okay, I'm gonna say somehting out loud that I'e been doing a good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know Marshall and Lily have...I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen, waiting for it to happen but I guess I'm just tired of waiting.

Ted

[akashiayakashi]

Kids, morals usually come at the end of stories but this one is so important, I'm gonna tell you now. Don't ever ever invite an ex to your wedding.

Future Ted - HIMYM Season 4 Episode 5