#shrakhposting

[orcoftheday]

let’s do a good ole fashioned “shadow of war tribes as something”

tf2 classes....

scout: fucking. marauder tribe

spy: dark tribe

engineer: machine tribe

pyro: mystic tribe

soldier: warmonger tribe

sniper: feral tribe

demoman: outlaw tribe

heavy: slaughter tribe

medic: scary asshole, terror tribe

[orcoftheday]

fun things to call your s/o

- RANGER

- NORTHMAN!

- OH, TALION!

- MY BOY!

- YOUNG MAN!

- OOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[orcoftheday]

outlaw tribesman: oi can i get uh.....ingredients on my manflesh

slaughter tribesman: beetroot?

slaughter tribesman: you want beetroot?

slaughter tribesman: you want fucking beet root?

outlaw tribesman: ingredience

[orcoftheday]

shadow of war tribes described in megaman sprite game quotes

mystic tribe: i dont think assholes are very good at stopping ghosts

terror tribe: IF YOU WONT LET ME PLAY WITH YOU ILL HAVE TO SEND YOU TO MY 'TROUBLE DUNGEON'

outlaw tribe: once again my worthless dad has ruined christmas

slaughter tribe: could i use them to make pasta

feral tribe: BARFK BARFK

dark tribe: he has desecrated the sanctuary that is my realm! a false idol!

machine tribe: what happens when a robot dies?

warmonger tribe: even in times of chaos i cannot resist some dunks

[your-local-birb]

Dirhael; [disgusted] why do you hang around these orcs???

Talion; [gestures helplessly, nearly in tears trying not to laugh, as Ronk the Unseen wanders by]

Ronk the Unseen; [loudly, unprompted ranting as he dances awkwardly throughout his whole speech] WHO painted 'GRONK' on my shield in shrakh???? WHICH ONE OF YOU GLOBS WAS IT Talion; w-why do I hang out with the orcs Talion, on the verge of tears; w-where else am I going to find such quality entertainment??? The elves???

[your-local-birb]

me, every time i destroy a terror tribe monument in Shadow of War: ah yes, i've closed another Oblivion Gate. Godspeed, Martin Septim.

[your-local-birb]

alright SO I ran into Pugrish in the third area of the game, I think? Somewhere rocky that’s for sure. He kept showing up whenever I was hunting down other captains, and would usually get in a few hits before I ditched (I had places to go, people to dominate, etc). But he was always reallllll snarky and I just. I loved him so much I almost felt bad about dominating him but I DID, naturally. And then he continued his habit of showing up while I was captain hunting, only NOW he was on my side (1/?

(2/?) He tended to show up right before I got pulverized by the other guy and honestly? I don’t think I’ve ever liked a character in a game more lol. Skyrim companions WHO, I’ve got Pugrish!! We were practically unstoppable, and it was so great! And so when a new captain popped up and the game decided he was Pugrish’s blood brother, I said Hey! Who cares if he’s got terrible traits! He’s bffs with Pugrish! and off I trotted to make him my captain too. I was even lucky, and he had a ghul hunt up!

(3/?) What an easy little thing! Hop in, stealth brand him, chase off some ghuls while he goes on his merry way and me and Pugrish can go back to smashing heads. It’s important to note that I didn’t ACTUALLY pay much attention to his traits, beyond the fact that they were lack luster. If I had, definitely would have done this differently. Because guess what Pugrish’s bff was terrified of? (If you guessed ghuls, congrats! You win this lovely grog vessel I DEFINITELY didn’t take off his corpse!) 

 (4/?) So here’s me watching in horror as this poor captain who’s name I have never remembered loses. His. Mind. As these ghuls come swarming out of the ground. He, in his infinite wisdom, goes barreling right through the fire pits next to him, catching himself on fire before he goes running off as fast as he can go. Only, he’s still being chased by ghuls, and I can’t risk him dying! So I shoot the ones that are trailing him and hop down to take care of the rest. (GOD I’m sorry this is so long!)   

(5/?) Unfortunately for me, Pugrish, and his very pathetic friend, our poor terrified captain decides that CLEARLY the best way to escape the area is to double back and run right the ghuls again! And me! Actively clearing them out!! He dropped a real lousy rune, too. And so here’s me, staring down at this now very dead orc, when here comes Pugrish!! And he’s PISSED. (I mean I get it but also Pugrish buddy get a better blood brother?) We fight, I re-dominate him, life goes on! (Life does not.)

WJSFJDGHFDSGKDSFVKDSFKDKSLKHGKDBMSDGFDSJDJ GOD THAT IS PEAK RELATABLE. THE CLASSIC SHADOW OF WARDOR EXPERIENCE EVERYBODY.

also no worries!!! the Tale of Pugrish and His Blood Brother is a tale worthy of being told in full lmao.

 rest in pieces, pugrish’s blood-brother, we hardly knew ya.

[your-local-birb]

i'm not mordor meme anon, but would you like to hear the story of Pûgrish the Unkillable? he was my favorite captain and also the reason why I stopped playing lol

oh HELL YES go OFF anon!!!!