#shretymology

[neonfretra]

I feel like such a rookie asking this but where does the oven door thing come from? I'm pretty sure it's a sharks thing but in my 14 months of being a hockey fan I have yet to figure out what it's from

ad read from the audio shroadcast ^_^ not even there anymore LOL

[neonfretra]

how is asky a beetle? he doesn't really skitter around

pardon the lack of citations this time around </3

TL;DR: this poast (link contains photo of bug)

but year one of yaroslav askarov in the sharks org! we have a kinda wild goalie situation at this time, details not important but what u need to know is we dont have space for him in the NHL as badly as we want to (except for when vitek vanecek is cursed with injuries and asky is up in the NHL for a few weeks).

so hes in our AHL org, the san jose barracuda! :) hessss REALLY GOOD. and when youre really good and youre yaroslav askarov you play . REALLY SCARY HOCKEY. my mans playing . hes playing.

he goes to the AHL all star game! he continues to PLAY. he participates in the breakaway challenge and PLAYSSS. goes for the pokecheck . in the all star game. flops over limpnoodle style. endeus reposts this video & van puckpocketed refers to him as a beetle . endeus assigns him a blue fainting beetle & the nickname stuck ^_^

[neonfretra]

could you explain your bisexual klingberg tag?

source: glenn james/getty images

BISEXUAL TAPE FOR PRIDE NITE :D

maenisusume tumblr did a compilation post on john klingberg being a gay ally but truth be told. im not strong enough to ID that post RN ^_^

[neonfretra]

Explain the frof egg thing ?

this ones a doozy ^_^

san jose sharks used to have william eklund, fabian zetterlund, and mikael granlund and theyre all prettyyyy good! william eklund as the future face of the franchise and then ummm. fabian zetterlund as in the box of spare parts we got from the timo meier trade that flew under the goated radar and mikael granlund as the millstone around the pens neck that squared up exceedingly solidly as a sharks vet.

you may notice that william eklund is the only one still a shark. dont worry yet ^_^

at this time the san jose sharks roster is barely holding on. exploding from injuries, just generally NOT VERY GOOD, we still manage to scratch kevin labanc for half a season.

mostly funny is that we have a bunch of forwards with a -lund surname on our team. we dreamt of a lund^3 line.

then. THEN!!! we get william eklund and fabian zetterlund together on a line! our lund^2! sharks broadcaster tara slone calls them the swedehearts ^_^

actually just peep the shrimer on their shriendship.

we do get the lund^3 line BTW. our top line who plays great very serious hockey. fabian zetterlund says mikael granlund is like a dad to him and william eklund and mikael granlund says fabian zetterlund is a fugly hag.

WE SEND FABIAN ZETTERLUND TO OTTAWA BTW. william eklunds name goes trending on twitter after that

and like a week later its casually mentioned that fabian zetterlund and william eklund found out together. at a sauna. together. from another friend of theirs rasmus sandin calling fabian zetterlund. and they think its jokes and japes!!!! NO ONE HAD THIS ON THEIR BINGO CARD!!!

is it worth mentioning that after the trade everyone very politely understood that william eklund is the main character of this.

heres the emotional rodeo we collectively get sent on:

As far as William Eklund is concerned, the San Jose Sharks traded a literal family member in Fabian Zetterlund away. “He’s family for me, his family is my family. We hang out. We have Christmas together,” Eklund said on Monday, after declining to speak on Saturday about the Trade Deadline deal of his best friend to the Ottawa Senators. “That’s one of the toughest days of my life.” -- "eklund on what zetterlund meant to him, being tired of losing"

"I know William's gonna get right. Right now, it's just a lot of emotions right after when it happens," Wennberg said. "The same thing with Fabian. I called him last night, and it's not easy. You pack your stuff, and you're gone in a heartbeat. It's gonna be different. I probably have to be a little bit of a Fabian to save [Eklund] a little bit." -- "sharks react to fabian zetterlunds departure"

Eklund, on how he found out about the Fabian Zetterlund trade: We were having a sauna. We’re taking a sauna together, and we came out of the sauna. Saw the call. Never going back there, that’s for sure. (laughs) Eklund, on how often he hung out with Zetterlund: Everyday. Eklund, on how Zetterlund helped him in his NHL career: It’s tough. It’s tough. (chokes up) -- "eklund taking zetterlund trade hard"

SO. thats sort of what we are emotionally working with . no one handled this trade well. i dont want to talk about what my dash looked like.

a large aspect of our grief came from being a team in rebuild that would explode all our good players in exhcange for young players BTW. keep this in mind. our crazy turnovers.

but. anyways. jump to present day . sharks beat reporter sheng peng fujos too close to the sun . fabian zetterlund says he misses weklund the most out of all of san jose

sharkudablr bloggers that were there for that era of shrockey lose their marbles about it a little bit. (a lot bit.)

goose pacific-coast-hockey describes the guys who were part of the transitional phase of shrockey as incubators. van puckpocketed and i get in on that fabbepreg grindset. (comment section).

i get so seized by lust that i start fantasizing about fabian zetterlund laying eggs frogstyle. i think i ought to be put down like a horse for the things that passed through my mind in regards to this.

thats aboutttt it yeap ^_^

[neonfretra]

another wuastion: why are we forcefemming mr. klingberg and mr. ceci(? not sure if he's being forcefemmed as well but I know we're making sure klingberg is getting estrogen)

OH THIS ONE HAS LORE!!! ^_^

the sharks acquire cody ceci over the off season. here is two things: cody ceci is not very good at hockey and cody cecis breasts are fantabulous. van puckpocketed described them as his normal naturals. there is an anonymous user on gooses sharkuda prompt meme out there that wants cody ceci breastfeeding.

also his suits sit on him in a manner of some sorts. (breastfully.)

and here is the thing. we are were so insane about his breasts that sharks lb collectively agreed not to mention that hes um. not good. at hockey. hes a very beautiful man.

is it cody ceci forcefemming? IDK. ive seen people pitching thoughts of slipping him oestrogen and putting him in skirts. and also he was miley cyrus from music video "wrecking ball" for halloween one time (skirt) and if i look to long at it something scary happens inside of me

& so john klingberg breaches the scene. also not very good at hockey. he proceeds to get raked over the COALS. for being not very good at hockey

goose pacific-coast-hockey brings up how we only tolerate our dcorpse if they are beautiful & martha knitpurlgoal proposes forcefemming john klingberg. this is all very adjacent to the cody ceci normalcy that seized our hearts and minds. & here we are neow ^_^

[neonfretra]

sorry I realized I instinctively put that mono question on anon. so I should def wear a face mask when I see the sharks again? I didn't at the pens game because my dad thinks covid is over despite other diseases still existing and it's so much easier to just. not argue with him since he's a libertarian and he won't listen anyways. but I do wear a mask when I'm at the grocery store and such

ngl I do think it would be a little bit funny if I misunderstood and thought your fish got mono from their tank

not sure "the tank" will be as cuntiful given how yasky was playing against the wild. like they're cunty but in different ways. I suppose we'll have to reevaluate his cuntfulness when he plays more

HI SHRESTIE (sharks bestie)!!! to clarify the mono was and has been a joke and does not actually exist, sharks games are not super spreader events for mono as far as im aware, we are just joking about giving it to each other with big kissies . BUT!!! if you want to lie and tell your dad that all the cool kids got mono from a hockey game so we betta mask up id fake a cough for you ^_^ fish got mono better stay safeee... >_>

[neonfretra]

pause. what's that about mono in the tank?

mono (mononucleosis) is called the kissing disease & is usually passed thru spit ^_^ i cant find. sources. though at least one other person recalls that the boston bruins got hit with mono on a large scale. so it might just be a shared hallucination??? but its funny because its probably passed from players hollering into each others mouths when celebrating goals and wins. so thats the association with mono

the tank is the cuntiful nickname for the sharks home arena

so basically were getting diseases as sharks fans from celebrating our wins!!! ^_^ thats also where the making out jokes come from. kissing with tongue. mono in the tankkkk

[neonfretra]

hi neon fretra could you help a friend out and remind me of the connection between heads will roll by the yeah yeah yeahs and sharks? was it just a lb thing or am i forgetting important history

before hockey games started they play hype reels for the home team ^_^ the sharks was set to "heads will roll" by the yeah yeah yeahs ! i will say that we dont really see it on the broadcast (though you might hear it in the background during pregame segments) so i wouldnt be surprised if its not a particularly strong association for people :P

... i wish i could find a video of it but i fear i am failing you this time anon </3 if anyone has access to a recording of it feel free to share it? ^_^