be okay
2012!phil
summary: everything around them seems to be collapsing and the stress is finally getting to phil
genre: angst sickfic fluff hgngdknlf
word count: ~1500
warnings: none, sick stuff. no vomito
a/n: I'm too tired to write one oops. pray 5 me
The stress was starting to get to Phil.
Things between him and Dan were awkward. Conversations felt forced and Dan had taken to sleeping in his own room now. They weren’t arguing, though Phil would much prefer that over the awkwardness. He didn’t blame Dan for it, as he was sure he was doing the same thing back. It felt like they had a million eyes on them now, and in a sense, they did. Phil ignored most of them, trying not to let them effect him, while Dan was fighting back. They were both far too aware of everything now and it had pushed a gap in their relationship.
Phil sighed, checking the scene he was editing again. The scene was obviously forced and lacked Phil’s natural enthusiasm. He remembered the day he had been filming it, he hadn’t been feeling too well. It had been happening more and more often recently.
Giving up, Phil saved the video before closing the program. He leaned back in the office chair, disappointment settling in him. Phil would probably have to refilm the scene, which meant more time. The more time Phil spent on videos, the more restless the fans became. He already had them breathing down his back about phan, he didn’t want to deal with their complaints about the lack of videos as well. His head constantly hurt from the tension and he found himself unable to sleep well at night.
All the stress piled up in his stomach until it started to ache from the pressure of it all. But Phil didn’t have time to deal with a troublesome stomach; he had other things to do, like prepare for the radio show, pay the bills, film the scenes needed for his video, and many other important tasks. He also needed to try to reconcile with Dan and have him come sleep in the same bed again. Phil hated the emptiness and not being able to cuddle Dan whenever he liked.
Phil got up and headed down to the lounge, where Dan sat editing a video of his own. He glanced up when Phil walked in, then returned to his video. Phil sat down at the table where the monthly rent was laid out, waiting to be read over. His stomach turned as he stared the papers down and he felt nauseous. Money always stressed him out and now even more so with their gained attention. It needed to be done, as much as Phil would like to pretend it didn’t exist.
He had finished sorting everything out when Dan came up to him. Phil looked up at him and smiled.
“Hey,” Phil greeted.
Dan smiled back, though it was forced. “Are you going to make dinner?”
The thought of food didn’t sit well with Phil’s stomach, but he figured he’d only make enough for Dan. It’d be a nice gesture and hopefully Dan would take it as an invitation to start talking to Phil again. “Sure. What do you want?”
“Stir fry?”
Phil nodded, standing up to head to the kitchen. “One stir fry dinner coming up.”
This got Dan to roll his eyes fondly. “Don’t burn the house down. I’ll be editing in my bedroom if you need anything.”
Phil nodded and walked to the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients. While it was cooking, Phil leaned against the counter and rubbed his upset stomach. If things weren’t so tense now, Phil would have gone to Dan and whined about his stomach. Dan would have made him tea and cuddled him better.
Now, however, Phil feared that the only thing that would result from going to Dan was another argument and Dan accusing Phil of being childish.
Phil quickly finished up Dan’s dinner, not bothering to make enough for if he got hungry later. He dished the finished meal out onto a plate, grabbed a fork, and carefully made his way to Dan’s room. Inside, Dan was sitting on his laptop, scrolling through some mysterious website unknown to Phil.
“Here you go, my good sir,” Phil teased, handing the plate off to Dan.
Dan gladly took the plate, frowning when he saw that Phil didn’t have one. “Are you going to eat all by yourself?"
“U-um,” Phil stuttered, “not exactly? I mean, I’m not eating now.”
“Why not? The food won’t be warm for long.”
Phil’s stomach turned at the thought of food once again. Phil shrugged. “I have to finish up some emails, sorry.”
Dan didn’t look convinced, but he let it go. A tense silence filled the room before Phil finally left.
Phil went back into the lounge with every intent to follow through with what he said, but his stomach had different plans. Instead of scrolling through email after email about youtube and copyright, Phil ended up laying on his side on the couch, clutching his stomach helplessly as it cramped.
Phil whimpered, burying his face into the couch cushion. His stomach grumbled, telling him off for not caring for himself. He laid there for a while, feeling absolutely miserable and lonely. The nausea was slowly becoming too much and Phil feared he was going throw up when he heard Dan calling his name.
“Phil?” Dan’s voice echoed from the hallway.
Phil merely hummed in response, too sick to care about the possibility of another argument.
He heard the lounge door open. “Phil?” Dan’s voice instantly became more worried when he saw Phil curled up on the couch. “Phil, what’s wrong?”
Dan walked over and kneeled down in front of Phil, resting a hand on Phil’s cheek gently. Phil nuzzled into the hand, immediately soaking up any affection he could get.
“My stomach…” Phil muttered. He rubbed it softly, trying to soothe the nausea and prevent himself from accidentally throwing up on Dan.
Dan frowned. “Are you coming down with the flu?” He felt Phil’s forehead for a temperature, but he seemed fine.
“No.”
“Did you eat something bad?”
Phil shook his head. “I think it’s stress.”
Phil was expecting some cold retaliation or for Dan to tell him that he’s stressed too and a stomachache wasn’t an excuse.
What he didn’t expect was for Dan to coo and instantly begin fussing over Phil. He pressed a kiss to Phil’s forehead and softly pushed Phil’s hand aside so he could rub Phil’s stomach for him. His other hand began to play with Phil’s hair, instantly relaxing him.
Not that Phil was complaining.
“Baby, why didn’t you come to me?” Dan whispered.
Phil melted at the affectionate name. “I didn’t want to make you worried or angry at me.”
Dan shook his head. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t feel that way. I’ll always want to care for you.”
“Thank you.” Phil craned his neck so he could place a kiss on Dan’s wrist, too lazy to properly reach out and kiss him.
“Anytime. Now, how does a warm bath sound? Afterwards, you can try some soup if your tummy is feeling better.”
Phil smiled shakily. “That sounds wonderful.”
After a warm bath and a little bit of soup that warmed Phil’s stomach, the two ended up cuddling on Dan’s bed. Phil was curled into Dan, his head laying on Dan’s chest and hands drawing little patterns across it. Dan had his arms wrapped tightly around Phil and his face was buried in Phil’s hair, inhaling his scent.
Phil’s stomach still had a dull ache to it, but he wasn’t paying attention to it. Instead, he was enjoying the warmth and feeling of being in Dan’s arms after being fussed over.
“You’re mine,” Dan mumbled, pressing light kisses into Phil’s hair. “My baby. My Phil.”
Phil couldn’t deny the rush of love and happiness that flooded his chest as he listened to Dan. It felt so good and relaxing and Phil was so in love with Dan.
“I feel properly fussed over,” Phil giggled.
“You deserve it. I’ve been a shitty boyfriend lately and it’s not fair to you.”
Phil hummed in agreement. “You’re making up for it. I know things are hard, but I don’t want us to end up like we were at the beginning of the year. I love you so much, Dan, I don’t want to nearly lose you again.”
Dan’s grip tightened around Phil. “I promise, we’re going to make this work. I love you too, more than you can imagine.”
Dan held Phil tightly, showering him in kisses and compliments, until Phil slowly drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep. They still had a long way to go, but Phil knew now that they were going to be okay.
