3 times Eddie was shocked to find out things about his friends dating life, and 1 time he was shocked about his own. (Transfem Stevie)
“Wait, what?!” Eddie shouted, staring at Robin incredulous.
“I’m. A. Lesbian.” She repeated, clapping her hands between each word, “Do you need a dictionary definition on what that means, dingus? Because it’s not-“
“No-“ Eddie interrupted, shaking his head, hands sternly on his hips, “I know what a lesbian is, don’t worry. I just didn’t know you were one!”
“Oh… well, yeah, I am.” She shrugged, “Obviously! Whose idea did you think it was to have a Michelle Pfeiffer movie marathon?”
“Huh.” Eddie nodded, giving her a once over, “Well that clears some things up.”
“God, you’re such a dingus sometimes.” Robin snorted, scruffing up his hair, “Come on, we’re gonna be late to meet Stevie if we don’t leave now.”
☆ ★ ☆
“Wait, what?!” Eddie said, doing a double take and charging backwards, almost stacking it down the stairs to the Wheelers basement.
“No! Nothing!” Will shouted, slapping his hand over his mouth, Mike beside him groaned.
“Nuh uh, not nothing. Don’t try to lie to me you little shits. I saw you two smooching it up.” He said, his voice a harsh whisper as he stared down at them. Or, well, attempted to since they’re almost taller than him these days. “Spill.”
“We don’t have to tell you anything.” Mike sassed.
“Oh, yeah?” Eddie sassed right back, “Tell that to the three headed fire breathing dragon who has it out for you, Mighty Palladian.”
Mike groaned, “We’re not gay!”
“Well, last I checked you’re both dudes.” Eddie tutted, “So, what’s this, hmm? I’m not letting you be a little bitch and use your best friend as your experiment.”
“I’d never do that!” Mike clipped.
“Experiment?” Will asked, his face scrunched up.
“Oh, yeah, been there.” Eddie scoffed self-deprecatingly, chucking a thumb at himself, “Don’t tell anyone, but I went through half the football team.”
“Wait, you’re gay?” Mike glared at him.
“Nuh duh.” Eddie blabbered, tongue rolling out of his mouth, “I thought you little shits knew.”
“I knew.” Will shrugged.
“Why did you know?” Mike argued.
“I just knew.” Will said back.
“Hey now, little dudes, enough of that.” Eddie shook his head, “Now come on, what’s going on here? Is this some creepy weirdo exploration thing or have you gone all sweet ‘n shit on each other.”
“Wouldn’t you rather someone know?” Will raised an eyebrow, “Someone you actually look up to and like?”
“Aww, Little Wheeler, you look up to me?” Eddie asked, a hand splayed over his heart, “I’m honoured.”
“I’m outta here.” Mike rolled his eyes, pushing past Eddie and up the stairs, “I swear if you tell anyone, I’m gonna go steal all your Dungeon Master notes-“
Eddie gasped dramatically, “You wouldn’t!”
“Watch me.” Mike rolled his eyes, accidentally letting a smile slip before he was fully turned around.
☆ ★ ☆
“Wait, what?” Eddie asked, choking on his sandwich, staring up at his uncle.
“I said-“
“I know what you said.” He shook his head, “I just… you are in a relationship?”
“Yes.” Wayne nodded, “I’m very happy.”
“Oh, wow.” Eddie breathed, “I did not expect this happening when I woke up this morning.”
Wayne chuckled at him, “It ain’t that crazy, son.”
“Yeah it is!” Eddie protested, “I didn’t think you even cared about relationships or nothing. You’ve always been just Wayne to me.”
“Yeah, cause you were a sad little kid that needed my full attention.” Wayne huffed, “Now, you’re an adult and I’d like a relationship.”
“Huh…” Eddie nodded, and began to eat his sandwich again, “So can I meet him?”
“You already have.”
“When?” Eddie asked, furrowing his brow.
“His name’s Scott, and I love him very much, and we met at your middle school parent teacher interviews and have been putting off our feelings since then.”
“That long? Wayne!” Eddie groaned, “Is he like a single dad or something?”
“No, he’s your old science teacher.”
“Wait, what!”
☆ ★ ☆
“Wait, what?” Eddie asked, scrunching his face, looking at Steve on the verge of short circuiting.
“Yeah, I just can’t do this anymore, Eddie.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I like you, so much, and I just…”
“Stevie, I’m gay.” Eddie said, now looking at him with desperation, “Steve I’m so gay, I’m the gayest any dude could ever be. Holy shit, I like you too!”
“You are?” Steve said, his eyes beginning to well up a little.
“Yes!” Eddie said, jumping on the spot, “I’m so fucking gay, Stevie. Gayer than the day is long! Please go out with me.”
Steve huffed, giving Eddie a saddened smile, “I’m not a guy, though.”
“Wait… what?” Eddie asked, scrunching his nose, “What do you mean?”
“I’m transgender…” Steve said, looking at the ground, “I’m actually a woman.”
“Wait, you’re transgender?” He asked, whispering the next part to himself, “God, everythings happening this week…”
Steve nodded her head, “Yeah, I can’t… I’m sorry, Eddie, but if you’re gay-“
“I’m bisexual, actually. I’m so bisexual, please go out with me.”
“Eddie, you can’t just change your sexuality.”
“Uh, well, apparently you can, because I just did.” Eddie sassed, “I was gay, now I’m bisexual, cause I have a big ol’ crush on you, and if you’re a woman, that makes me bisexual.”
Steve glared at him.
“So, can I take you out on a date now?” He said, staring up at Steve with stars in his eyes.
“Are you being serious? This isn’t just a joke, Eddie, it’s my identity.”
“I know.” He said, deadpan, “It’s mine too. Hell, I’m finding so many things out this week, it’s crazy. So like, do I still call you Steve or…?”
“I prefer Stevie.”
Eddie grinned, “Sick. So Stevie, about that date?”
Stevie huffed, “You realise if this goes anywhere I’d be your girlfriend, not your boyfriend.”
“Holy shit, you wanna be my girlfriend?” He beamed at her, “This is so metal, can I kiss you, I wanna kiss you so bad, Stevie, please be my girlfriend right now.”
“Oh…” Stevie muttered, finally smiling, “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Eddie just about fainted.
Stevie has my heart oh my fucking god I love her *Screams hysterically from the rooftops*
steve knelt down, hands reaching out for the messed up collar around els neck. straightening it out with a soft smile, he smoothed her hair down too.
“prettiest girl at school.”
she giggled, “thanks dad! see you tonight.”
“remember you have soccer after-“
“i know.” she drawled like it was obvious, and to her, it was, “bye!” she called before running off.
steve shook his head with a little laugh. he watched her scramble off into class in her new pinafore dress that he spoiled her with because she finally made herself a friend. he waved to her as she stuck her hand up and flailed it around behind her, knowing he would still be watching, and scurried off to her class.
steve loved his girl.
he couldn’t not love his girl.
she was the only thing worth living for.
he looked over to his left, after hearing a giggle, and met the eye of one of the mothers who had developed far too much of an interest in him for a married woman. he shot her a forced smile.
he finally stood back up, brushed off his knees and hopped back in the car, heading off to another tedious day at work.
*
eddie turned the music down… significantly, and quickly hopped out the car.
“dad! come on!” max groaned, hauling herself out of the car seat.
“yeah yeah.” eddie nodded, slamming his door shut, “you were the one who slept in, bug.”
“you were meant to wake me up!”
eddie leant forward on his knees and looked at her, “i thought you were a big girl, hmm? what did i buy that alarm clock for if you’re not gonna use it?”
max glared at him, “but you’re my dad.”
“and you’re my daughter, and my daughter knew i had a very important call to make thismorning so…”
max sunk her shoulders, “so you couldn’t wake me up.”
“there we go.” eddie smiled and let her on the back, “now c’mon, before you miss music.”
the little girl lit up and hurried towards the front office.
“hey!” eddie shouted, grabbing her bag from the backseat and shut the door, “school bag!”
“you can carry it!” she called back, waving him over to her.
“little rat.” he grinned, jogging over and scuffing up her hair.
she giggled and hurried inside.
“ah, maxine.” the receptionist leant over her desk, “late again?” she was a bitch.
max nodded.
“got a bit tangled up in sorts thismorning.”
the receptionist glared at him over her glasses and pulled out a late form for him to sign.
eddie filled it out, handed it back with a bitchy smile, and knelt down in front of max. he smiled and tugged on her braids, fixed up her fringe which was askew from her morning frantic.
“you have a good day, yeah, kiddo?”
“got it, dad.” she huffed.
the kid had an attitude, and eddie fucking adored it.
“got it, dad.” eddie mimicked, his tongue poking out at her with a little eye roll.
she giggled and snatched her backpack from him, “i got soccer after school, remember?”
“shi-uger honey iced tea, thanks for reminding me, bug.” he pet her on the head, “see you after soccer.”
max reached her hand out for their secret handshake - the shortened for running late emergency’s version - and hurried off for class.
eddie placed his hand on his knee to help himself stand and pet the desk, thanking the bitchy office lady again, because darned if he wasn’t a gentleman.
“oh, mr munson? hi.” a voice called from the other side of the office.
eddie froze in place, closing his eyes for a moment because he knew it was maxs old home room teacher who kinda definitely had a crush on him.
he forced himself to turn around, “ms summers.”
“late again?” she said with a smile, making her way over to him.
he shrugged with a guilty smile, “busy morning.”
“i bet.” she pouted, “it’s gotta be hard without mum around.”
eddie nodded his head, “yup… so hard.” it wasn’t really.
she reached her hand out for his bicep, “let me know if you ever need anything.”
“thanks… again.” he nodded and backed away, “ah… duty calls.”
“okay! bye now.” she waggled her fingers at him.
“bye.” eddie pumped his eyebrows and made a runner.
*
eddie hopped out of his van, slamming the door shut behind him, as per usual. he pulled his pants up a little, re-tying the arms of his coveralls around his waist to sit a little better. he rounded his van and walked over to the edge of the oval, where the kids were running a muck and balls were flying everywhere.
it was like a warzone and eddie was terrified.
not only was he scared that max was gonna get hurt - they’d already dealt with two broken arms, a fractured shin, and a concussion before the ripe age of ten - he was scared that max was going to inflict some serious damage on some other por kid.
his girl was a menace.
he caught sight of her fiery red hair running down the pitch, chasing some other little girl in a purple vest for the ball. max swooped in and kicked it away, over to a brunette girl that eddie recognised as her friend.
he met her once, ellie he was pretty sure, sweet girl.
a girl too sweet for his criminal in the making, but hey, who was he to interrupt this adorable little friendship.
at least max actually had a friend now. she’d been struggling with that for a while. eddie was just so proud that his girl was able to not scare yet another sweet little kid off.
when she told him she had a new friend, he took her for ice cream, and then they had fancy pizza for dinner, and he let her stay up an hour past her bedtime to watch her favourite movie. wayne got her a dirt bike.
he tucked his keys into his pocket and folded his arms over his chest, settled in to watch the madness that went about the soccer field. he had no idea what was happening.
someone kicked a goal because now the small cluster of parents observing were clapping and cheering, and one parent in particular was going haywire. clapping, cheering, calling out “that’s my girl!”
he was getting plenty of looks from the soccer mums that eddie couldn’t fucking stand. he hated every last one of those bitches and their mean, far too privileged kids.
eddie figured this guy probably wasn’t any better. his kid was probably a prick too, right?
he looked out at the field and saw little ellie giggling and waving out at the crowd, she looked ecstatic. max had rushed up behind her for a tight hug, congratulating her best friend on her goal. eddie looked over to who she was waving at, and it was the ballistic dad dressed in a fitted button down shirt and slacks that- okay, so this guy was kinda hot.
definitely asshole material.
eddie walked over to him.
“ellie’s your girl?” he asked.
it caught the dad off guard a little, but he smiled fondly, looked back out at the game which had started again, and nodded, “yeah, she’s mine.”
“max is mine.” eddie pointed out to his girl, “just wanna say thanks… max didn’t really have any friends before el came along. really cheered her up.”
“yeah?” he asked, and he seemed genuinely proud.
eddie nodded.
“same here.” he smiled, “el was pretty quiet, kept to herself. lots of kids bullied her. when she came home raving about some max with cool red hair and a skateboard i kinda went crazy and spoiled the shit out of her.”
eddie laughed, “no way. when she told me about ellie i spoiled her to dessert before dinner and grandpa bought her the dirt bike she’d been begging me for.”
the guy smiled fondly and stuck out his hand, “steve.”
“eddie.” eddie shook his hand, reciprocating his smile, “now, i gotta be honest with you…” eddie said, eyes back on the game as he leant into steve’s space, “i have no idea how soccer works, so, tell me if i need to cheer, yeah?”
steve laughed and slapped him on the back in that jockey way dudes used to do in highschool, “i got ya, man.”
*
“daddy! daddy! we won!” ellie came running from the pitch, hair messy and face sweaty.
“whoooo, yeah!” steve called back, squatting down to embrace his girl as she ran for him.
max flung herself at eddie too, wrapping her arms around his legs and catching him off guard. she usually hated hugging him in public. said it was embarrassing to hug your dad, that’s why they came up with the secret handshake.
eddie kinda melted. this was definitely ellie’s doing and now he kinda wanted to spoil steve’s kid too.
he leant over to smooth his hands over maxs back and kissed the top of her head, “how you goin kiddo?”
“ellie kicked a goal, did you see it dad?” max asked, looking up at him.
“yeah i did!” eddie gasped and looked over to the little girl, “it was spectacular.”
“super spectacular.” steve echoed.
the girls giggled.
“daddy, can we have a sleepover?” el asked, pointing at max.
“yeah, can we have a sleepover?” max asked too, stepping back enough to grab ellie’s hand.
both men looked at eachother then back at their daughters, “it’s a school night.”
the girls both pouted and whined.
steve looked over to eddie, swallowing down for a moment. this dad was kinda hot with his long hair and bandanna tied around his head, grease all over his body in that stupid tight white tank top. he was clearly a mechanic, which was hot on its own, but a thought steve had never had before.
“how about on the weekend?” he said, before he could catch himself.
eddie looked down at him, “the weekend?”
steve nodded and looked at eddie as he seemed to think about it.
“ah, i dunno yet.”
max made a whining noise, “why?” she huffed, “you wanted me to have a friend!”
“i know, bug.” eddie placed his hand on top of her head, “i love that you’ve got a friend but our weekend is kinda packed at the moment.”
it was the weekend maxs mum was supposed to have her, but she kinda had a tendency not to show.
max looked at the ground and pouted again.
“that’s all good.” steve said and forced a smile, “another time.”
eddie bit the bullet, “how about i grab your number, steve?” he said, thought for a moment and then continued, “you know… in case maxs weekend clears up.”
steve smiled, “y-yeah, sounds good.”
“cool.” eddie nodded, “hey girls…” eddie said, struggling to tear his eyes away from steve’s pretty smile, “go get your stuff.”
the girls rushed off to do as they were told, and steve stood again.
“uh… you got paper and a pen or something?” eddie asked, kinda forgetting about that part.
“erm…” steve patted his pockets, feeling for something, he was unsuccessful in his search until he reached his breast pocket, “i got a pen.”
“that works.” eddie grinned.
“uh,” steve looked at him for a moment, “what-“
eddie stuck out his arm, “just write it on my arm.” he shrugged.
steve did, “feel like i’m back in highschool, jesus.”
he laughed, “shit, yeah.”
“haven’t done this in a long time.” steve shook his head and finished off his number with a little smiley face.
“neither.” eddie smiled and looked at his arm to find ‘ellie’s dad’ written above the number.
just then, the girls came rushing back over with all their things.
“well, ellie’s dad,” eddie grinned, “i shall give you a call.”
“cool.” steve nodded.
eddie saluted him, grabbing max by the hand at the same time, “see ya el.”
“bye ellie!” max waved at her.
steve and el waved back their goodbyes and left for their car too.
“gross dad.” max muttered.
“what?” eddie scoffed, “what’d i do now?”
“ahh…” max said, as if the point she was about to make was obvious, “you like like ellie’s dad.”
eddie went a little pink, he opened the van door for her, “ah, no i don’t.”
“yes you do.” she huffed, climbing into her seat, “you were looking at him weird, like the way you looked at the old pizza delivery guy i wasn’t supposed to know about.”
“damn it.” eddie muttered to himself and closed her door, rounding the van to hop in himself, “and for your information, kiddo… i don’t like like him. he’s just… easy on the eyes, okay? he’s probably happily married anyway.”
“mhm.” she sassed, “if you say so old man.”
“old man? old man?” he squinted his eyes looking back at her, “that’s it, you get a can of sardines for dinner!”
“no!” max screached with a laugh.
“yes!” eddie called back, looking at her though the review mirror, and backing out of the carpark, “sardines for the rest of the week.”
“ewwww no!” max giggled, “so gross.”
“that’s what you get for calling me old, ya little rat.” he laughed and winked at her through the mirror.
as bad as it was, eddie kinda really hoped that maxs mum was a no show again this weekend.
***
if you enjoyed this, you can find the the next part and more here on ao3 :)
Day Six of @steddie-week - true / misunderstandings / you looking at me looking at you
find the previous day here :)
Three years.
Three beautiful years with Steve, and Eddie knew there was no coming back from this love.
They’d been through everything together, they relied on each other, they needed each other. There was nothing more beautiful than their goddamned love and Eddie was sure of it.
Eddie knew what kind of a guy his boyfriend was. He’s a family man. He's made a family of the Munsons, he’s made one with Buckley, he’s made one with all the little sheepies, and he’s made one of them all. Every Christmas, every birthday, every Easter, and even every Halloween they spend it together, doing things that families usually do on those days. Steve grew up with absent parents and no one to call his family, not really, and so he made family of anyone he could now. Eddie loved him terribly for it.
Steve wanted a family, he wanted a future with kids and a Winnerbego and a house with a kitchen big enough to cook a feast in and a garden out the back. Eddie was already in the process of saving for one, though, Steve didn’t know that. He wanted it to be a surprise in a few years time. When they’re ready to upgrade from their little apartment, and Steve suggests they start saving for a home, Eddie would have the money ready for them. He wanted to give Steve everything, and he knew he’d never be able to do that, so he’d have to settle for a damn house instead.
Eddie couldn’t give Steve the life he’d always dreamed of as a kid, he knew that, they both did. He couldn’t give Steve a wife, or birth his children, and things like that, but he could give him everything else. He could give him love, and a life, and family… and a house.
Three years and Eddie knew Steve was all he needed in life.
He’d been talking to Wayne and Scott about it, about what this means. Wayne had been seeing Scott for years, since Eddie’s freshman year, officially, but they’d been pining over eachother since the first parent teacher interview Eddie had in his first year of middle school. A year before the world almost ended, they’d bought matching rings and had a small celebration with the ones they loved, and made a life long promise.
Eddie wanted to make that promise with Steve.
Eddie also wanted to buy a house for Steve as soon as possible, but… some things would have to wait, because now he was about a grand short in his savings because he’d impulsively gone and bought them matching rings. Eddie’s a silver band with a gold strip through the middle, and Steves a gold band with a silver strip the same. They both had the others inital engraved on the inside.
When he told Wayne and Scott, Wayne almost shed a tear, and Scott cried as if he was the one recieving the damn thing.
He was going to do it tonight, after their anniversary dinner. He had a plan. He was going to leave the ring in a box on Steve's pillow, so when they get in and go to bed (for whatever reason) he’d find it. No smushy public declarations of love- that wasn’t Eddie’s style. He wanted it to be simple and private. Something just for them.
Eddie put in on the pillow after Steve left for work this morning - he was doing placement at Hawkins Middle School, and then Eddie left for work. They were going to meet at the restaurant since they both had to work late tonight.
He couldn’t help his excitement all day.
He decided to surprise Steve on his lunch break and bring him a sub from the place he loved across the road from the mechanic Eddie worked at. He walked through the halls with a smile, dodging rushing children as he walked to his boyfriends - soon fience - classroom, knowing he likes to have lunch in their with Robin, who’s doing placement for teaching French too. They often work on lesson plans and cool things for the kids whilst they eat and gossip together.
Eddie stopped before he walked into the classroom, hiding around the corner as he listened to Steves voice echoing out.
“Three years, Robin!”
Eddie felt his heart swell.
“I can’t believe it’s been three years.”
“Neither.” He sighed.
“Nancy and I will have our two years in a couple of months.”
“Time is crazy- and, you know, I didn’t think I could love him anymore, and then thismorning he woke me up with bluberry pancakes and an iced coffee- not the instant kind, either. He got up an hour early to teach himself how to make it for me, Robbie.”
Eddie bit his lip, ducking his head as he suddenly felt a little shy.
“Three years is serious.”
“Yeah, I know.” Steve sighed, “I’ve been thinking about it… about us, a lot.”
“Oh.”
“About our life, and shit…”
“Oh?” Robin perked up, “Like… kids and shit?”
“Yeah.” Steve said.
Eddie swallowed. They hadn’t talked about this before, not really. But Eddie knew they loved each other, and would do what they could with what they had. Or… that’s what he’d thought anyway. He thought their love was enough.
“I’ve always had this dream of-”
“Of a wife and six kids in a Winnebego?” Robin snorted, “Yes, I’m well aware. You know, I’m committed to the woman you told that dream too, once upon a time.”
“Yeah, well, don’t worry. I don’t see her in it anymore.”
“Better not.” Robin said.
“But… I dunno. Eddie can’t really give me that.” Steve said simply, and Eddie didn’t think those six simple words could tear open his heart, but they did. They fucking broke him, “He can’t give me normal.”
Normal?
What… what even was normal? What part of any of their relationship been normal? They got together because an alternate-fucking-dimention forced them together where Eddie almost died! How was any of that normal?
Maybe Eddie’s love wasn’t good enough for Steve. Fuck, it was good enough for Eddie. But he supposed he didn’t have these big dreams about family. He wanted one with Steve, sure, he wanted to give Steve whatever he wanted. But… but Eddie wasn’t enough for Steve. Eddie wasn’t normal enough for Steve.
Eddie couldn’t be here right now, or he’d probably do something he’d really regret. So he ran. He headed back to work and had a horrible feeling in his gut for the rest of his shift. As he cleaned himeself up and changed into the nicer clothes he’d bought in the cramped bathroom of the mechanic shop, he prepared himself for heartbreak.
Steve was going to leave him, despite still being in love, because Eddie just wasn’t enough for him. Eddie just wasn’t normal enough.
–
“Better not.” Robin said.
“But… I dunno. Eddie can’t really give me that.” Steve said with a shrug of his shoulders, “He can’t give me normal.”
“Steve, you did not just say that.” Robin said behind her fork.
“I mean, like… normal, as in the heteronormative dream I’ve always had and been conditioned to want for most of my life.” Steve sighed and stabbed at his pasta, “I don’t really want that anymore, is what I’m trying to say. Like… the six kids and a wife on my arm? No way, man.”
“Okay…”
“Eddie is the farthest thing from normal that I’ve ever experienced, and I just… I love it. I fucking love him, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, you know?” He shook his head with a fond smile, “Eddie can’t legally give me marriage- though, I’ve been thinking abou that and I might ask him to marry me anyway-”
“Steve… no way.” Robin slapped his shoulder, “Really?”
“Mhm… I’m thinking his birthday. So… that gives me a couple of months to save up for a ring.”
“Make me your maid of honour.”
“Obviously.” Steve shook his head at her, “But anyway, he can’t marry me, or like… give birth to my children, or anything, but I don’t care. Like, he’s everything to me… he’s more than enough.”
“You sap.” Robin smiled and shoved some salad into her mouth.
Steve blushed slightly and laughed, “And like, I’ve got the kids- even though theyre all about to become adults very soon which is sickening to think about, and… and I’ve got these kids for now, and next year if I get this job, I’ll get my own class of kids, and that’s plenty, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“And he and I can roadtrip- the last one we took was one of the best weeks of my life, Robbie-”
“I know. You tell me all the time.” She smiled.
“I dunno. I’ve just been thinking about my future a lot, and I’ve just realised I’m very happy and wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“I’m so happy for you, dingus.” She nudged their shoulders together.
“Yeah… me too.”
–
Eddie got to dinner like, ten minutes late.
First, he sat on his bike for about five full minutes before starting the engine because he was procrastinating the inevitable. Then when he finally did start to dive, he went about five under the speed limit opposed to his usual ten over. And third, when he pulled up at the restaurant, he spent a good couple of minutes just sitting there, staring through the window at Steve sitting at their table for two, still dressed in his work clothes, the sleeves of his blue and purple button up rolled to his elbows and his dorky teacher glasses that Eddie loved sitting on his nose. He looked so nervous, bouncing his knee, tapping his fingers on the table and constantly checking the time on his watch. Eddie felt bad for making him wait, but he just couldn’t do it. He wasn’t ready to be without Steve. He just wanted to go home-
Home.
Would he go home? Would they go home together still?
What would any of this mean?
Eddie was ready to take the next step forward, and Steve wanted to take two steps back.
Steve turned his head to look out the window, and fuck he was seen. No running now. Steve waved at him with a little smile, a smile Eddie usually melted for, but tonight he hated.
He pulled his helmet off and climbed off of the bike he’d traded the van in for last year.
Steve did not like it at first. It scared him. But then Eddie convinced Steve he could do it safely. He just loved the feeling of the wind in his hair and having the freedom like that, plus it was so cool. And after Eddie took Steve for a little joyride, and Steve realised he could koala off of Eddie’s back and press himself into the shape of Eddie the whole time, he started to like it a little.
He’d also said, on multiple occasions, when Eddie rocked up somewhere on it, that he looked like “the very definition of a wet dream on that damn thing”. And he’d love it when Eddie would take off the helmet and shake his hair out and give Steve a little grin. He’d always come up and grab his face and just kiss him silly. He’d tell him how hot he thought he was. Sometimes he’d ask Eddie to take him for a spin. One time they fucked on the bike, which was… so cool.
Oh fuck. Eddie wouldn’t be able to look at the bike without thinking of Steve now, let alone ride it.
He’d have to sell it.
Goodbye cool dream, hello eternal loneliness.
Shit. It was going to be like that with most things, wasn’t it?
“Hi, baby.” Steve said, pulling Eddie into a hug before sitting back down.
“Hi.” Eddie swallowed and sat down across from him, he picked up the menu immediately.
“Uh…” Steve shuffled a little closer in his seat and leant his elbows on the table, “Happy anniversary.”
Eddie glanced up with a smile, “Yeah, you too.”
Fuck, he wanted to cry.
There was silence for a moment before Steve ducked his head, “How was your day? Did you figure out the issue with Ms. Disillas’s Bug?”
Eddie shook his head, “Still a mystery.”
Steve nodded, “I had a good day.”
“Mhm.” Fuck you.
“Uh… one of the girls in the class I’m working in- Katie, she… she made this for our anniversary.” He slid a little three dimensional paper heart across the table, “Artsy little kid.”
“You told the class?” Eddie asked, flopping his menu down.
“Ah, no…” Steve poked his glasses to shove them back up his nose, and Eddie had to fight off the immediate urge to smile and call him pretty, “Just… she knows because she heard me and Rob’s talking about it today.”
So did I, Eddie thought, “Cool.”
Steve nodded slowly, “You hungry?”
“Yep.” Eddie sighed and looked at the menu again.
“You wanna share?” Steve asked, “I can’t decide between a few things.”
“Whatever.” Eddie said.
Steve hesitated before saying, “O- okay.”
They looked at the menus for a little longer in silence, and then when Steve suggested a couple of items, Eddie just nodded his head and agreed. A waiter took their order and they were left in silence again.
“I got an A on my last assessment.” Steve said with a smile, “It’s looking good, for me to get my own class next year, I mean… full time.”
Eddie was so proud of him. God, so fucking proud. And if he wasn’t about to get his heart broken, he’d be over there, smoothing Steve with kisses, not giving a damn who looked their way.
“That’s great.”
“Are- are you okay, Eddie?” Steve swallowed.
He felt bad for putting Steve on edge like this, but he just couldn’t fucking do it.
“No.”
Steve’s eyebrows raised a little, and he nodded, “O- okay… what’s the matter, baby-”
“This relationship is about to be over. That is my problem.”
Steve flinched back, “What?”
“I’m not what you need.” Eddie said, in full defence mode, “I’m not what you need, and were fucking over. How do you expect me to be okay, Steve?”
“You’re not-”
“No, I’m not.” Eddie shook his head, “I’m a fucking Freak.”
“Eddie.” Steve pressed with a shake of his head, “Wh- where is this coming from?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know.” Eddie lent forward, “I know you love me, but I also know I’m not what you need.”
Steve blinked a few times, and Eddie hated his goddamn glasses because they magnified Steve's teary eyes. It crushed Eddie, to hurt Steve like this, but Steve was hurting him too.
“I’m not letting this go on any longer, I can’t… I can’t deal with it.” Eddie shook his head, because he felt sick. How was he supposed to sit through an entire dinner with Steve knowing he was about to be dumped, “I can’t, Steve. I can’t do this.”
He pressed a hand over his mouth and tried to will away his tears because he couldn’t just fucking breakdown in the middle of a packed restaurant.
“You can’t do this?” Steve asked, “You… so we’re- we’re over?”
Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat, and he was crying, “Yeah… yeah, I guess we fucking are.”
“Uhm…” Steve took a shaky breath and wiped a tear from his eye, “That’s it?”
Eddie shrugged and looked away.
“Three years for… for nothing.”
Eddie hated everything so much.
Not for nothing. Never for nothing.
But… but Steve thinks it’s for nothing?
God, fuck, this hurts more than he thought it would.
“I still love you… so- so fucking much, Stevie.” Eddie sobbed, refusing to look at him because he just couldn’t. But he needed Steve to know this. He needed Steve to know he was loved, despite the pain he was causing, “I always fucking will.”
“I still love you too.” Steve croaked.
Eddie couldn’t do this, “Yeah.” He stood, “I- I need to… I can’t be here.”
“Well- where… where will you go?” Steve stood too.
“I dunno.” Because he didn’t.
He kinda just wanted to get on his bike and drive, and never fucking stop until he was dead.
Steve swallowed, “Give… give me ten minutes to pack some things.” He wouldn’t look at Eddie now either, “Rob and Nance have a spare room.”
Eddie nodded, even though that sounded like a shit idea because that meant he had to sleep in the apartment with all of their things. Things Eddie thought he might start burning if left alone with too long tonight. But he didn’t have the energy or power to say anything else. He couldn’t let Steve know just how deeply this hurt.
Steve stood there for a moment, and Eddie didn’t look at him, and then Steve left. Eddie turned away from the doors and held his breath for a bit, trying his best not to fucking break down. When he saw Steve’s car pull out of the car park, he made a beeline for his bike and shattered.
He got on, and went for a drive, and didn’t stop driving until he ended up back at their little apartment.
–
Steve was… well, he didn’t know what he was feeling.
Eddie had… he’d just broken up with Steve, because apparently he “wasn’t what Steve needed”, whatever fucking bullshit that meant. But… fuck, Steve was thinking about marrage, and a future, and a life together, and Eddie wanted to end things. He couldn’t bring himself to fight it.
Maybe tomorrow. Tonight though, tonight he’d go pack a bag, and knock on Robin's door crying, and drop into her arms and let himself be held about it. He’d feel his heart break and his world be ripped from under him. Then tomorrow, he’d let the girls talk some sense into him and he’d go find Eddie for a fight. And they’d scream and cry and either Steve would convince him he was fucking stupid and get him back, or he’d leave there more broken than he’d ever been before.
He really hoped it wasn’t going to be that last one, but he also knew how damn stubborn Eddie could be, and when he got something in his head, it wasn’t fucking changing.
He pulled up across the street from their place, rather than parking in the garage since he’d be leaving so soon, and hurried inside. He really didn’t want to bump into Eddie on his way out.
He stormed through the house down to their little room, and Steve tried his best not to break more than he already was. He grabbed a bag from their wardrobe and started shoving clothes into it, just enough for a couple of nights. He moved to the bathroom and started tossing in toiletries before heading to the kitchen to grab his migraine medications. He stopped still when he saw the pan in the sink from the pancakes Eddie had made him this morning. He bit down on his hand and dropped to the floor crying.
How could he do this?
In one day. How could he go from making Steve pancakes and iced coffee in bed and smothering him in kisses and… other things that made Steve have a very good morning, to… to deciding Steve didn’t need him anymore and dumping him? How the fuck does that even happen?
Steve felt sick.
He rushed to the bathroom and spilled his guts into the toilet bowl.
After cleaning himself up a bit and calming down well enough, he went into their - well, no longer their - room to change because he didn’t want to be in these clothes anymore. He didn’t want to wear the shirt that Eddie dumped him in. He wanted to burn it.
He shucked off his shoes and pants and tossed the shirt as far as he could, and pulled on the first t-shirt he found that wasn’t Eddies, and he hated how much it still smelt like him. He walked over to his bedside, whilst he remembered, and grabbed his eyedrops and the case for his glasses and hearing aid and-
He picked up the little box that sat on his pillow. It wasn’t there this morning. Eddie must have gotten him a present, even though they said they wouldn’t do that.
He opened the box slowly to see the edge of a gold ring- he slammed the box shut. It was the ring he gave Eddie on their second anniversary, wasn’t it? A ring his grandpa had given him before he died, one of the few people in Steve's family he actually missed, it was one he’d found the day he got shipped home from the war and promised to see his wife again. Called it his good luck charm. After Steve found Eddie, he didn’t think his luck could get any better, and he’d slipped it onto Eddie’s finger that night whilst he was sleeping. Eddie was his good luck charm. But it was here, in this box now wasn’t it. No longer slung on a chain around Eddie’s neck (because it was too special to wear to the shop and fuck up and he didn’t wear gold rings), worn every day. Now it was in this box, given back to Steve.
Steve reached a hand up and brushed his fingers over the pic that lay around his neck, the one Eddie always wore, his very first pic he’d ever owned. He’d given it to Steve after one of their worst fights within the first year, when Eddie kicked and screamed and couldn’t bear to have Steve around trying to make him better. When he just wanted to neglect the world and be alone and grieve and blame himself for all the blood spilt around him. After Eddie had collapsed into his arms and apologised for all of the horrible things he’d said to Steve, and how he loved him more than anything and promised he’d never mean those things. He’d given Steve the necklace as a promise. A promise that no matter what, he’d love Steve with everything he had, and that he needed him.
That promise felt so small right now.
Steve couldn’t bring himself to take it off. Not right now. He just wanted to wear it for another minute.
He closed his eyes and opened the little box to take the ring back, but what he saw inside wasn’t the gold band he’d see resting on Eddie’s chest every night before bed. It was a different one, with a silver strip through the middle, and on the inside, looking up to him, was a small ‘E’ engraved into the gold.
He heard the door click open, and swing shut, and Eddie’s heavy footsteps carried through the apartment. Steve couldn’t bring himself to move. So he stood there, in a tshirt and his underwear, staring at this ring with Eddie’s initial that was left on his pillow, on their anniversary, feeling absolutely confused.
–
Eddie was glad Steve's car wasn’t in the garage. That meant he was gone, and Eddie wouldn't have to face him again. He didn’t think he could face him again, he might just shatter and end up a broken heap on the ground.
He marched into the apartment and tossed his helmet onto the sofa, and headed for the bedroom. He couldn’t stay here, not tonight. He was going to grab a few things and knock on his uncle's door. Being here made him feel sick.
He pushed open the door and stopped dead in his tracks, because there by the bed, stood Steve.
There stood Steve with the ring Eddie had bought him in hand.
Fuck.
He was crying again, “You said ten minutes.”
Steve looked up and blinked with wet eyes, “Has it been ten minutes?”
“I don’t know.” Eddie said, his voice high pitched and almost a whine, “I can’t do this.”
“Me either.” Steve sobbed, “You think this is easy for me?”
“No.” Eddie pressed a hand over his mouth and took in a shallow breath.
“What is this?” Steve held up the box.
Eddie couldn’t look at it. He couldn’t look at Steve. He wanted to disappear. He wanted the ground to open up again and swallow him whole.
“Eddie.” Steve pressed, moving the box into his eyeline, “What is this?”
Eddie swallowed and looked down at Steve's feet, “It’s an engagement ring.”
Steve's breath hitched, “You- you bought me an engagement ring?”
Eddie nodded and started wailing, “I want a life with you, Stevie. I fucking love you.”
“So why’d you dump me?”
“Because I couldn’t sit through a whole dinner or longer- I couldn’t… I couldn’t lay in bed with you tonight knowing you didn’t want this.”
“Want what, Eddie?”
“Me!” He choked out, his face hot, and he looked at Steve and he looked just as broken as Eddie, “I’m not what you need.”
Steve shook his head and wiped at his tears, but it was useless, because they just kept falling, “Why do you think that?”
“You said it.” Eddie sniffled, “I heard you- you… I’m not normal.”
“What?”
“Today…” He spluttered, “I- I went to visit you at lunch and bring you the meatball sub you like, and I heard you and Robin talking.”
Steve took a little step back, “What?” He swallowed, “What do you think I said?”
“That I’m not normal.” Eddie sobbed, “That I can’t give you the life you’ve always dreamed about.”
Steve went silent.
Eddie looked away and cried some more, “I heard- you… you said that, and I just… I couldn’t bear to hear anymore, so I left, and I spent all afternoon on the brink of a breakdown over it. I- thought I was enough. I thought what we have- had was enough for you, but- but I didn’t want to- I didn’t want to stop you from having the life you need. Even if it’s fucking without me.”
“Oh my god.” Steve whined and rushed up to Eddie, cupping his cheeks, the ring box smushing into one of them, “You’re so dumb.”
“Not fucking helping.” Eddie spluttered, trying to look away, but Steve wouldn’t let him.
“You idiot- Oh, I love you.”
Eddie cried so hard he couldn’t breathe, “I love you so much- pl- please don’t do this.”
Steve shook his head, “You’re a terrible eavesdropper.” He licked his pretty lips, “If you’d just listened for a minute longer you would have heard me tell Robin that I don’t want normal, anymore. I haven’t since you stepped into my life, you beautiful fucking idiot.”
Eddie stopped breathing, “What?”
“I want you.” Steve smiled, “I don’t want anything normal, as long as I can have you. You are everything to me, love.”
“But- but I can’t… I can’t marry you, or give you kids-”
“I’ve got the sheepies.” Steve shook his head with the warmest of smiles, and Eddie felt his heart start to beat again, “I’ve got the kids I’m teaching. I don’t need them, when I have you- plus, as the kids get older I’ll have the opportunity to be an uncle.”
“You don’t-”
“I do.” Steve muttered, “And this…” he shook the ring box, “It’s closer than close enough.”
Eddie sobbed and pressed his forehead against Steves, probably with a little too much aggression because it hurt the both of them, but they also didn’t care.
“If you’d listened a little longer, you would have heard me telling Robin I planned on buying one of these for your birthday.”
Eddie’s back straightened up and he looked at Steve very carefully, “You were?”
“Yeah- I mean… if I could afford one by then, but- well, now I don’t have too.” Steve smiled and Eddie let himself melt this time. He could melt. He was fucking mush, “Well… are you going to ask me, dumbass?”
Eddie laughed softly and took the ring box from Steve, plucked out the ring with very shaky fingers. Steve placed his hands over Eddie’s, warm and calming. Eddie glanced up at Steve, and Steve was giving him that look that meant he was very in love.
Oh, you don’t know how fucking good that look made Eddie feel right now.
Eddie held the ring between two fingers and took a deep breath, and it was a little shaky from crying so much, and he hated how sad they both looked whilst this was happening, but it was happening, and he was very grateful it could.
“Will you- well, fuck, you can’t… not legally so- well,” Eddie sniffled and smiled sadly, “will you pretend marry me, Stevie?”
Steve spluttered and laughed, his hand just as shaky as he held it out for Eddie, and he was crying again, “Yeah- yeah I’ll fucking pretend marry you.” Eddie slipped the ring onto his finger, “It will be real to us, I promise.”
Eddie sobbed and held Steve's hand tight. He dropped the ring box, not caring about it anymore, and lifted Steve's knuckles to his lips to kiss, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Steve cried and cradled Eddie’s face again, “You’re a fucking mess.”
Eddie laughed wetly and leant into Steve’s hold, “You’re my fiance.”
Steve nodded and wiped away Eddie’s tears, “Next time you overhear me and Robin talking, and you think I want to break up with you… don’t think that.”
“Okay.” Eddie promised, because he’d never make that horrible mistake again, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, baby.” Steve ran his hands down the sides of Eddie’s neck and lay them on his chest, “It’s okay now.”
Eddie nodded and reached out for Steve's hips, pulling him in close. Steve's eyes were fixed on the ring on his finger, and he looked very happy to see it there.
“I’m your fiance.” Steve muttered.
“Yeah?” Eddie croaked, because he was still fucking crying, but it was mostly happy tears now.
“Yeah.” Steve smiled, his cheeks red and his eyes swollen, but his smile was still the brightest thing Eddie had ever seen.
Steve leant up to kiss him, and it was a good kiss. It was a very good kiss. It felt so full of love, and hope, and promise.
It was a promise that they’d love eachother forever.
“I’m so sorry, my Angel.” Eddie muttered against his lips, “I’m so-”
“I know, Eddie.” Steve held him by the jaw gently, and they started to sway together, “I know.”
Eddie nudged their noses together, “Not a very happy anniversary.”
“It’s the happiest one in my books.” Steve sniffled and smiled, “So… does this mean we're back together?”
Eddie laughed and kissed him again, “If you’ll have me, sweetheart.”
Steve slung his arms over Eddie’s shoulders and kissed him harder, “I’ll always have you, love.”
