@sightwarden anonymous asked: king or fjord? <3
presented as if it’s a choice, as if either option could leave her heart whole. in the same way that lucien had never been molly, no matter how difficult to see sometimes, it wasn’t kingsley she had let down. not king who had laid dying while she was nowhere to be seen. what had she been thinking when they had fallen? not about them, surely. at best plans of escape. at worst, desperate prayers to the traveler to save herself, fjord, and yasha… their other friends far from her mind.
would she recover if she failed them again?
would any of them recover?
she crawls backwards until she finds the edge of the boat, still running even now. a wrangled flash of purple, the entire world collapsing around them… it’s enough to make her retch, swallowing the bile as her gaze searches fjord’s in wordless apology. i love you, she mouths, her entire body shaking violently despite the calm sea. i’ll find a way to make this better, this isn’t forever. she doesn’t give herself time to figure out if he understands – if he forgives her – before sickly pink and blue butterflies erupt from her hand, the necrotic energy almost palpable in the air. it’s better if she doesn’t know his reaction. now, until she can undo it, she can pretend. she can live with the knowledge he died still loving her.