lux aurumque

[architectarcane]

private, independent, & highly selective lae.rryn cora.mar-see.lie from exu: cala.mity. canon divergences may apply. 21+. written by vae (30, she/they).

SIDEBLOG to @ruidusborne​

rules (temp)

bio

personal blogs, please do not interact with my posts.

credit for art in icon / promo: suraelis [used w/ permission]

[ofteasandherbs]

Again I state.. they are so good I love them.

Hope you enjoy💚🦇

[architectarcane]

i’ll be on laerryn this weekend, because i miss her. <3

[kingcael]

calamity

(Tasteful variant haha)

[carolcastros]

“I’m willing to be whatever you want me to be, whether it’s friends, lovers, or both. I just know that I want to be in your life, exist in your orbit, as long as you’ll have me.”

— Marley C. | Whatever You Need. (via theprocast)

[architectarcane]

adveanture​:

    *    @architectarcane​​    —    IT  DOESN’T  HAVE  ANYTHING  TO  DO  WITH  TRUST.   YOU  DON’T  HAVE  TO  TELL  ME.   BUT  I’LL  LISTEN  IF  YOU  DO    (   laerryn  &  zerxus   ) 

ZERXUS’S   GRIEF   IS   A   MOUNTAIN.         he   is   a   hollowed-out   husk   of   armor,   proceeding   through   each   day   as   though   he   is   swimming   through   icy,   foggy   oceans.      evandrin   is   gone;      elias   is   gone;      he   is   alone.   

but   .   .   .      not   alone,   at   the   same   time.      there   is   the   ring   of   brass.      there   is   laerryn.   

“      i   cannot   speak   of   it,      ”            he   replies,   as   his   tears   continue   to   choke   him.            “      my   words   fail   me   .   .   .      ”            how   can   he   explain   what   it   is   to   feel   what   he   has   lost?      laerryn   loved   evandrin      —      everybody   loved   evandrin      —      but   no   one   loved   him   like   zerxus   loved   him.      they   could   not,   and   they   cannot.   

if zerxus’ grief is a mountain, then laerryn’s is the long shadow it casts.  it expands and contorts beneath the sun’s exposure, doomed to be consumed by the darkness of night every evening.  the only reason she cannot allow it to consume her is to ensure that evandrin’s sacrifice is not in vain.  

the guilt, however, gnaws at her, carving her out from the inside until she’s a walking, grievous wound.  every day that she must wake and look zerxus in the face ( she does not dare look at elias ) is a day that she must remember the role she played ... plays.

“he wouldn’t want you to live like this,” she says softly, her words brittle like late winter ice. “you deserve...” laerryn pauses, emotion catching in her throat. it feels wrong, trying to comfort him like this.  what right does she have?  she exhales through her nose. “you deserve a good, long, fulfilling life, zerxus.”

[merrittrps]

DEWANDA WISE as Nola Darling; └ She’s Gotta Have It - S02E02 (2017-2019)

[architectarcane]

conversational sentence starters // accepting

“sometimes things aren’t alright, and they’re not gonna be okay for a while.  and that’s alright.  as cliche as it sounds it’s okay to not be okay.  give yourself time.”

cerrit always knows what to say. that must be some kind of skill a person unlocks when they become a parent.  even so, that doesn’t mean that laerryn is ready to hear his words of wisdom.

“is that the divorce advice you’re giving me right now?” laerryn says into her third glass of champagne, looking completely exhausted ( in body and in spirit ).  it’s times like these she wishes she could sleep.  four hours of meditation isn’t nearly enough to address this level of fatigue ( and heartache ). she exhales, her gaze settling on something distant, just past cerrit’s head.

“i need to get out of this funk,” she lowers her voice, not wanting anyone but @sightwarden to hear her admitting any kind of fault or weakness. “i thought being married was a distraction,” laerryn tosses her hand aside in a futile gesture. “now that’s over, and it’s the complete opposite,” she groans. “so, go on. tell me to woman up, and get over it, that there’s work to be done–all of that. don’t tell me to just sit here with my shitty feelings.”

[architectarcane]

conversational sentence starters // accepting

it’s rare that she gets this excited.  normally, she’s navigating the murky waters of an endless trial and error course, battling the inevitable disappointment of falling just short of a goal.  today, however, she has figured out something extraordinary.  

laerryn has just finished briefing both patia and nydas when she flings open the front door of her home.  she has an expensive bottle of champagne in hand and a smile that rides that thin line of madness and genius.  all she has to do now is find him.

“with a smile like that,  i can’t help but want to know your secret.  what’s got you so cheery today?” @avalirherald speaks before she even has to call for them, and the expression of joy on her face only intensifies.  laerryn laughs, exuberant and bright, and sets the champagne bottle down so that she can fold her spouse into her arms.  she very nearly picks them up for a spin, thinks better of it, and instead kisses them full on the mouth.

“i had a breakthrough,” her golden eyes are shining like stars.  she takes quay’s face in her hands and kisses him again. “do you have any plans tonight? cancel them. i want you home to celebrate, just the two of us.”

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

❛ i didn’t know where else to go. ❜

❛ i’ll never be that me again. ❜

❛ you can still be good. ❜

❛ i thought you’d be here. ❜

❛ don’t act like you know me. ❜

❛ because i care about you, okay? ❜

❛ it wasn’t supposed to end like this. ❜

❛ i was scared. i thought you had lost your way. ❜

❛ am i supposed to just let you go? ❜

❛ you deserve better than me. ❜

❛ don’t make me do this. ❜

❛ i’m not who you think i am. ❜

❛ you don’t mean that. ❜

❛ please just hold me. ❜

❛ i don’t want to understand, i want you to stay. ❜

❛ and why should i care? ❜

❛ you look awful. ❜

❛ i can’t do this without you. ❜

❛ don’t let me lose you too. ❜

❛ for what it’s worth, i really am sorry. ❜

❛ it’s not your fault. ❜

❛ i don’t know who i am anymore. ❜

❛ is this the part where you kick me out? ❜

❛ don’t we deserve to be happy? ❜

❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜

❛ you can’t save everyone. ❜

❛ it was a nightmare, that’s all. ❜

❛ it’s just a scratch, don’t worry. ❜

❛ you know me better than i know myself. ❜

❛ don’t go where i can’t follow. ❜

❛ you’re better off without me. ❜

❛ we all die alone. ❜

❛ people get hurt if they get too close to me. ❜

❛ i hate what i’ve become. ❜

❛ i’m not going anywhere. ❜

❛ is there anything i can do to help? ❜

❛ i don’t even recognize you anymore. ❜

❛ who did this to you? ❜

❛ please don’t leave me. ❜

❛ oh, now you care? ❜

❛ don’t come any closer! ❜

❛ i missed you so much. ❜

❛ you don’t have to say anything. ❜

❛ do you want me to leave? ❜

❛ why are you avoiding me? ❜

❛ you could have died, you know. ❜

❛ i wish you were here. ❜

❛ you’re not alone. i’m staying right here. ❜

❛ i can be your family. ❜

❛ of course i’m here. where else would i be? ❜

❛ we just can’t seem to get it right, huh? ❜

❛ don’t look at me like that. ❜

❛ don’t push me away again. ❜

❛ this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. ❜

❛ you’re leaving already? ❜

❛ this was a mistake. ❜

❛ can’t sleep? ❜

[moved-to-eponymous-v]

so. calamity, huh?

bonus shitposting under the cut

Keep reading

[ladykeyleth]

— Even though I know it wouldn’t work, I would’ve thrown my Arcane Ward to try to take all of that [damage]. — It’s still not enough.

[rollthewhatever]

The second wedding,

on their anniversary.

[sqwamps]

The final battle map and its relationship to Laerryn has been rotating in my mind for 24 hours now. A cathedral??? A cathedral to Avalir itself, its potential and vision, its corruption and mistakes, the seat of its collision, resolution, fall????? Stained glass, raised altar, bathed in blood and the still-unbound light of the divine at the moment when every veil is thin, every boundary transcended, every possibility heartbreakingly, overwhelmingly in reach??????

And it's hers. Her place. Her workshop. Her temple. Her grave. Her triumph. A lifetime spent ceaselessly reaching for the brutal, profane salvation beyond the edge of possibility itself, the ending of a story that begins eye-level with the gods and climbs from there, plunges from there into the stars and oblivion in one straight line, the place where all things come together into one and she at last lays down the burden of singular purpose:

To walk the path that she alone can see, that she alone can chart among the stars, to tell a story known by heart and beyond words, in the language of her deeds. Witnessed only by darkness, and the clear, true sight of love.

A life's work. The cathedral and the Architect, burning together like the birth of a new star.

Finally.

Her best.

[architectarcane]

for @avalirherald

this isn’t exactly where she pictured herself winding up tonight, but she is far from complaining.

they have her back pressed against the wall, making good use of what little space the pair of them have in here.  one of her legs is more or less draped over loquatius’ shoulder while she’s got her left hand tangled in his hair and pulling.  

gods, she knows they’ll boast about this later—them and their stupid mouth ( but also: fuck, what a beautiful mouth, one that is currently doing some kind of god’s work right now ).

laerryn exhales his name, half a plea and half a warning.  it’s getting harder to keep standing.  every second, she can feel her legs beginning to buckle.  weeks of back-and-forth between them have led up to this, and already, she knows she’s losing what little grasp she has left of any self-control.

perhaps the smartest choice she’s made since they stumbled in here, hands fumbling as they laughed, is cast silence on this glorified coat closet.  at least then, only he can hear all of the sounds he provokes.

“i like you like this,” she says between breaths, her eyes dark and heavy-lidded. they won’t be able to respond, nor does she want them to, but it needs to be said. “you look so damn good on your knees.”

[architectarcane]

𝐟. 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐭𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐳𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 // accepting

@druidarum​ as patia says,  ❛ come and kiss me and let’s forget. ❜

grief.  it’s all she’s felt for weeks.  she’s sick of it—sick of that endless pit of dread that she’s drowning in.  so when patia offers her an ‘out,’ she takes it without any hesitation.  she converges on patia with an arm around her waist and a hand that disappears among her hair.  

she kisses her feverishly, desperately, half-convinced that when she opens her eyes, her arms will be empty, and she’ll be alone again. laerryn’s grasp on her waist tightens slightly, bringing their hips together.  there are momentary breaks for air, a second to breathe, before she captures her lips again. 

“we’re aren’t going to leave this room,” she tells her breathlessly, between kisses. for days, if she can help it. “let them talk.” their friends, their enemies—she doesn’t care.  the hand in patia’s hair moves to caress the side of her neck while laerryn’s mouth trails indulgent, lingering kisses down the opposing side. 

“no one else,” she presses the words into the column of patia’s throat. “no one else exists but us.”

[merrittrps]

DEWANDA WISE as Nola Darling; └ She’s Gotta Have It - S02E04 (2017-2019)