#sillyomens

[notyourguardiandemon]

A: "Crowley, can I drive your Bentley this time?"

C: "Are you crazy?"

A: "What? I've driven before, you know."

C: "You're too young, I'll drive, okay?"

A: "But Crowley, we're the same 'age' ."

C: "I don't care, I'm older than you so I decide. And you're too young to drive, end of discussion!"

A: "You make up excuses so I don't get to drive your car."

[notyourguardiandemon]

TEASE ME LIKE YOU DO

Aziraphale was in the kitchen doing some calculations with his glasses slightly lowered on his nose and some papers in his hand when Crowley came in looking for something.

C:"angel, where are my whiskey glasses?"

A:"I moved them."

C:"How did you move them, what do you mean?"

A:"It means I moved everything, all your glasses, cutlery and even plates. Nothing is where it has been for the last two years. Nothing!"

C:"Oh okay, I see."

Crowley put his hands on the table looking at Aziraphale defiantly.

C:"I'm about to become a successful Stripper."

A:"I'm about to hire a new gardener."

C:"I'm about to sign up for one of those red light sites with your work email, who knows what your bosses in Heaven would say!"

A:"I'm about to dedicate my life to Christ again."

C: "Ugh, that's wicked! I'm going to start a podcast that's all about how boring books are and how useless they are!"

A: "And I'm going to constantly complain about my aunt who can't find her pen."

C: "For the hundredth time, you don't have an aunt!"

A: "But I have a pen!"

C: "Every time we go to the Ritz, I'm going to stare so hard at the ass of every waiter who walks by just to make you uncomfortable!"

A: "I'm going to get so into Thanksgiving, so much!"

C: "Disgusting! I'm going to start wearing denim corsets with dicks embroidered on them while I wait outside of church every Sunday!"

In the heat of the moment they started kissing as they both climbed onto the table.

C: "Come here."

A: "Oh god...Crowley...yes...yes...oh yes..."

20 minutes later

C: "Oh wow..."

A: "I put your glasses in your new glass cabinet in the living room."

C: "Tell the truth, you just wanted me to fuck you in the kitchen, right?"

A: "Uh, maybe."

[notyourguardiandemon]

C:"Have you cried yet?"

A:"Not yet, I'm going to eat first."

[notyourguardiandemon]

A: "Are you okay, Crowley?"

C: "No."

A: "What's wrong?"

C: "You haven't noticed that I've been grumpy, unpleasant, and antisocial lately."

A: "In fact, I haven't noticed anything different from other days."

[notyourguardiandemon]

A: "Crowley? Are you getting your period?"

C:"Yes! How did you understand it?"

A: "If you untie me from this chair and lower that flamethrower I'll tell you."