Alastor, I’m giving you an explanation, but fair warning, you might be a little unnerved after reading this.
Well, you have what we youngsters call ‘simps.’
I hate to be the person explaining this to you, but it was gonna happen eventually.
You see, a ‘simp’ is a person who loves another person. But like on an almost excessive amount. There are different levels of ‘simpery’.
Level one: staring, basically just being hopelessly in love. (Example: Jake couldn’t tear his eyes away from Alice. She was so beautiful, he didn’t know how she woke up like this. Perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect…well, everything.)
Level two: I’m going to use you for this level. You see, when you simp for someone, you probably want to pat their head or brush your hand through their hair.
In your case, your simps want to touch your ears and know if you have a tail (let’s say you do for this explanation) The ears are pretty explanatory, they look fluffy, obviously you want to pet them unless you’re weird.
The tail thing…well it’s difficult to explain…basically, people write and draw…uhm…*couch* suggestive *cough cough* things about your tail. However, it isn’t always sexual. Some people use it for art practice or writing practice or just draw and write about it for fun! It’s like your ears, people think that it looks fluffy and want to pet it.
Level Three: *winces*…dirty thoughts…I’m not going to delve deep into this one, I know you don’t like it…but…people buy…body pillows with your picture on it…they imagine…doing you know what (*cough cough* sex *cough*) with you…and…other…ahem…suggestive things…heh…
Level Four: Obsession. This level is the most dangerous. Not only is the person experiencing all the previous levels, but they also cannot get enough of you. They want to do everything for you. They want to do anything for you, anything and everything. They want to be near you all the time. Basically a typical obsession.
So..yeah…that’s why you have so many people offering their souls to you for such little prices (hugs, ear pets, cuddles). They simp for you, on these different levels of simpery.
So there. And explanation as to why people want to pet your ears, cuddle with you, hug you…other things.
A fan that regrets explaining this, but did it because it was necessary to have you maybe understand.
Well, Level One appears to be endearing so far.
Ah, so is that why so many people have been obsessing over my ears? Well, I suppose that is slightly understandable.
Suggestive things about my tail? Why in God's name would they want to do that???
Alastor's eye twitches. People buy body pillows of me??? Dear God, almighty. Eugh. No, no, no.
Level Four actually appears to be somewhat useful. As long as it's not a Vox level obsession. Obsession is a resourceful tool when it is used correctly.
Hah! Simpery! What an interesting term! Well, I suppose its working out for me so far! I just...sincerely hope none of them are on Level Three. Alastor cringes with disgust. What a carnal thing to do!
I do appreciate the explanation, my dear fan. It was quite helpful. You know, Niffty loves to coin that term for me...wait.
Niffty calls me a simp? A simp? Ugh. I'm going to have to speak to her about this. I should've seeked out an explanation sooner.
