The ambiguousintensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feelsimultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
„Thefuck should that help?!“ Katsuki was sitting on a chair across fromIzuku. Aizawa and All Might were standing beside them, waiting forthe two students to settle themselves.
„It’ssaid that this method can solve any argument and misunderstanding.The only thing you have to do, young Bakugou, is to look into youngMidoriya’s eyes. We’re gonna go outside and when we hear you fightingor something, we get back in.“
Thiswas the last thing All Might said, before leaving the room, Aizawajust a few steps behind him.
Thedoor closed and Izuku shrinked back in his seat as Katsuki sent himhis usual death glare.
„So, I just have to look in yourugly eyes for some time and I can go?“ He crossed his arms andfixed his gaze on the green haired boy, who looked like a scaredpuppy. Hands pressed together between his legs and an unsure smile onhis lips.
„I- Iguess.“ His green eyes finally settled and he looked into Katsuki’sred eyes. „But- but If you don’t want to, you can just looksomewhere else, I mean-“
“Shutup, fuckface. I’m gonna look you in the eyes for as long asScarf-face and All Might want.“
It wasquiet after that and they both just sat there, looking in eachother’s eyes. Izuku knew, that Katsuki was one of the few people whoalways did the tasks that he was assigned to do, but it surprisedhim, that he would just sit still and look at him. The only person hecompletey despised.
All wassilent for about a minute, ‘til the ash-blond male just couldn’thandle it anymore. „How should that help? After I’ll have leavedthis room, you’ll still be the shitty Deku you’ve always been.“ Heclicked his tongue, but his eyes were still looking straight ahead,not faltering.
Thiswas something that actually hurt Izuku. He really thought that theyhad took one step further to rehabilitate theirrelationship, but apparently, he was wrong.
AndKatsuki knew.
Hisface morphed into a surprised expression and he bit his lower lip, tohold in the growl that formed in his throat.
Heactually felt guilty.
Izuku’seyes – his whole posture – showed, that he was terribly hurt byhis words.
Afterthat, it was silent. Nobody said anything and Katsuki began to feeluncomfortable. He thought he was in the best position, Izuku wasstill afraid of him, but it seemed like these green eyes lookedstraight into his soul. As he was looking for answers – forthe truth – why he still called himnames and tried to crush his self-esteem. He didn’t know what to do.Averting his gaze wasn’t an option, he couldn’t loose this fight.
Izukushouldn’t know why he did these things.
Itwasn’t because he hated the smaller boy; it was the completeopposite.
“Don’tlook at me like that, fuckmunch.”
Katsuki was desperate. He wantedthis to stop. Izuku’s eyes were still fixed on his and he noticed howthe green haired boy got to the point, where he was on the verge oftears. He got it. He saw it in Katsuki’s expression – His facewasn’t his usually grumpy look anymore – he actually lookedvulnerable and the ash- blonde male never felt so frail. He bit hislip again.
Hedidn’t want Deku to know. Not Deku.
Asmall and broken whisper finally got rid of their silence and Katsukiwanted to scream.
“I-falling in love with you, was wrong.”
Itwas Izuku’s typical mumbeling. It wasn’t supposed to be heard byanyone but himself, but Katsuki did.Katsuki heard exactly what he said andit scared him.
“What?”
Thatwas the only thing he could say at this moment. Izuku just confessedto him, but his heart hurt. It was wrong? To fall in love with himwas … apparently wrong.
„Isaid that falling in love with you was wrong. You don’t hate me, butyou behave like you do and I can’t picture that I did anything wrong.I was always the one who defended you, when you got picked on.But instead of thanking me, you pushed me away. Every single time. Ijust want to know, what you actually think of me.“
Katsuki’seyes widened and he felt how the anger started to boil inside him.Izuku knew that he didn’t hate him. He fucking knew it.
Heclenched his fist and it took him a lot of self-control tokeep his voice at a low level. The other students were on thetraining grounds, while they were being held captive in a small room,but this was something, that even All Might and Aizawa shouldn’thear.
“Youwant to know why? You really want to know why I’ve been like this forover ten fucking years?” Katsuki needed a break. He wanted to bequiet, but it was so hard not to grab the collar of the smaller boy’suniform and screaming at his face.
Theface that now was covered in tears.
Helet out a long breath, gritting his teeth. “I did this because Iknew that you would be someone I can’t live without. You were alwaysthere from the beginning and I realised-” he looked away. The wayIzuku was trying to hold back, even though he was already a cryingmess, made his eyes water.
“Fuck.”
Katsuki’shead was facing the wall and he covered his eyes with his arm. Heshouldn’t, he couldn’t cry in front of the person that was the reasonfor years and years of heartache, because he was so much better than himself.
Butafter he heard this desperate and totally broken whimper, the tearsstarted to flow; getting cought by his sleeve.
Hereally cried, sobs were leaving his throat and he just wanted to runaway, but when he would’ve walked out, everyone would’ve known.
Ittook him a while to regain compassion and when he faced Izuku again,the skin around his eyes was red and he laughed bitterly.
“Irealised way to early, that you would be the person, I would fall inlove with and it scared me. So I pushed you away and tried to makeyou feel as bad as I felt. I wanted you to be someone like me,because if you’re the way you were and are now … yeah, then lovingme is wrong.”
(Okay, this took a turn for the worse, I wanted them to confess and kiss, but instead Katsuki got like this?!?!?! Oh my god it’s all your fault @ramabear and @cosmic-otacake , I hope you’re happy this.)
