Dating: Mr. Right but not Mr. Right now?
You may be hopelessly in love with your partner and think the both of you are on the same page but he or she might have a different agenda right now. Even though things are going well and the future may seem bright - it’s questionable. He or she might be enjoying their time with you but they might not be ready to settle down just yet.
This isn’t uncommon, people develop at different levels and stages in their lives and that is normal. You can’t rush the process. He or she might be the right fit for you but not at this exact moment.
It doesn’t mean they don’t love or appreciate you but they might just be curious to see what else is out there before they park it at Commitment-Ville. They know what to expect from you and maybe dating around will clarify that they took you for granted and no one else can compare. They also might realize that they dodged a bullet since they snagged a brilliant, shinier, version of you - which is also very possible. It’s called dating and having options!
This is the case in my current situation. I have been going steady with a charming New Yorker/Floridian for a few months now and I am in this exact dilemma. Even though we are compatible on so many levels as we share the same interests, humor, cuisine, and activates - we have hit a tiny roadblock. I see two dolphins swimming into the sunset together but unfortunately, he sees a school of new colorful fish that he wants to explore since he hasn’t explored enough - understandable, fully.
Sure it’s devastating to hear that your love interest wants to try to be a philanderer but there are two choices to be made in this scenario. You can call it quits OR you can play along and agree to an open relationship with the risk of getting hurt. This way he or she will still be in your life if you just can’t stomach living without them, but it’s a gamble. An open relationship requires a substantial amount of emotional strength and understanding. You should establish solid rules and agree to certain terms that will prevent any possible disastrous occurrences from happening. It’s tricky but you have to be careful that you don’t end up hurting each other in the process.
As much as I would like to be acceptable to the idea of an open relationship I just don’t think I have the emotional stability to go through with it. No matter how much I love the person if they can’t commit to me and agree to a monogamous relationship then it’s a deal-breaker, or is it?
Nowadays more than ever people are confident with their sexuality and carry on multiple open relationships, one night stands, flings, and it’s completely supported. Also, people are settling down at a much later age so they are exploring all their possibilities before they lock it down. Having meaningless hookups never appealed to me and left me empty so I opt out of that scenario.
With that being said this is a difficult pill to swallow but I have to be true to myself and stand by what I believe BUT at the same time also follow my heart. I don’t want to be put in a position where I think I will be hurt but walking away is hard when you’ve attempted it multiple times and been unsuccessful. I think he is Mr.Right but only time will tell.
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for”. - Bob Marley
UPDATE: He is not Mr.Right, but, it was a great five months spent with an amazing guy who gave me wonderful memories.
