| Time and its Relationship with Ambrose.
❝ A clock ticks in an empty room, marking moments that no one will remember. Though, my body is burning with the shame of not belonging. ❞
Welcome to my first little rant about Ambrose and his character! I thought it’d be nice to talk about a few of the things that symbolize him here on this account, starting with clocks. Clocks alluring towards time and what it has to do with Ambrose. Time is very important to his character theming as he, himself, runs on “borrowed” time.
To begin, in his story clocks have a tendency to stop working around him or either buffer out. This is due to the fact that he’s like an anomaly to the world, something that should not be. This is also because there’s something lurking deep within Ambrose, right up under his skin. Clocks stopping often symbolizes the deterioration of human structure, logic, and predictability. This symbolizes the return of the chaotic nature of the universe, the nullification of cyclical destiny and moments of fatigue, memory loss, and nihilism.
Ambrose, as a character, has multiple instances where he seems tired: fatigued. Moments where he can barely remember things that happened, or even people that interacted with him. He experiences these extreme moments of fatigue and memory loss more recently, gradually as he has gotten older. Speaking to him is like speaking to a statue with hollowed insides. It is as if he doesn’t belong here, as if he doesn’t actually exist as his own being.
All this feeds into that void he feels in his chest, that growing nihilism. Every time clocks stop around him, he feels like these moments don’t exist and he’s just floating on rippling water. In his eyes there’s something between him and his body. He feels like his body isn’t his own or that he isn’t in it, at all.
| Part 2 — The Sun & Fire
The sun, across many ancient cultures, is worshipped and revered for its light and warmth. Symbolizing things such as vitality, energy, and divinity that nourishes and sustains the earth: Order. It can be analogous to the eye of the divine, something watching over the world. The light from the sun being a sort of representation for clarity, truth, and guidance from beyond. The sun’s journey through the sky has historically dictated humanity’s perception of time, this being seen through ancient calendars, sundials, and shadow clocks. Its rising represented birth and resurrection, while its setting represented rest and death.
Externally, the people of the church, alongside his family, saw Ambrose like the sun. It wasn’t something insanely crazy like revering him as god, no. Ambrose was thought of highly, all because he came back after being a stillborn upon birth. He had no heartbeat nor breathing. A whole twenty minutes had passed after he had came out of the womb, being proclaimed dead. It was after those same twenty minutes he started moving and whining again, the anomaly. His parents and his church believed it to be a miracle from god.
Ambrose always attended church. He helped by doing service for them as well. His mannerism developing from this work and family life. It is why he believes so much in mutual benefit, why he’s somewhat of a workaholic. It stems from an uncomfortable psychological contract—the built-in social rule that if someone gives you something, you are obligated to return the favor. When Ambrose knows he cannot reciprocate—financially, materially, or with equal effort—the gift transforms into an emotional burden, bringing forth anxiety. Like the sun, he must constantly provide his light, in his perspective.
Fire can be seen as the ultimate symbol of duality. It represents the delicate, yet fragile balance between creation and destruction. As a primal element, it can signify profound transformation, passion, purification, and divine presence. Fire must be fed to survive, mirroring the human condition, acting as a powerful metaphor for life, drive, and mortality.
Despite being seen as the sun by the people around him, Ambrose is more analogous to that of fire. In order to provide, he is willing to let himself burn. It is adjacent to the way that fire is destructive, yet creates fertile ash that will bring forth new life. He was resurrected—or reborn—when he came back to life upon being a stillborn. In recent years he has become more closer to fire than he’s ever been before. His days feel shorter, but are longer, and more sporadic like the shifting form of a flame; living in moments and burning away quickly.
Personality wise, Ambrose’s connection with fire and its symbolization of fervor is muddled. Due to his semi-isolated upbringing with the church and family, Ambrose has slightly poor social skills, that translate as him being aloof and weird by others. According to some townsfolk, Ambrose is supposedly frail, yet enigmatic. However, clergy members find him to be an interesting and special persona. This impression is given to people due to the fact he can have little to no filter from time to time. This characteristic, added to his—seemingly—innocent demeanor, gives him a snarky and oblivious personality. Nonetheless, Ambrose appreciates those he considers his peers, or family, having been taught numerous lessons from them.
After being previously considered a miracle of the Lord by his town’s Methodist Church, Ambrose has grown some resentment for being treated as one. The Church used to ask for more than he could give—which was what made him eventually play for Magnolia Moon, easing into his drinking habits—the Church had asked him to use his blessing for their personal agenda and solely in the name of the Lord. Due to feeling like he truly had no ounce of autonomy, he did not identify with any of the numerous names and titles that they had bestowed upon him. Soon enough, even his own birth name was included, occasionally responding to it. He is a fire that is on the brink of being snuffed out, being worn down from all the energy he has to burn to shine brighter.
