My god makes mistakes. My god gives the right blessings to the wrong people. My god sometimes keeps quiet when he sees injustice. My god pretends not to listen to my pleas. My god refuses to let anyone see him. My god is not always right. My god does not makes the right choices. My god sometimes lets bad people roam the earth free. My god lets the good people suffer. Why?
Maybe because, my god is not an all-powerful, all-knowing being. Maybe he is human, just like me and next person. My god makes mistakes, and then he gives himself a chance to correct them, asks for help to correct them. Be it Shiv asking Vishnu to preserve the universe, because he gave the wrong asur a boon. Be it the gods asking Parvati to help defeat Mahisasur, because they gave him a boon. Maybe, this is what makes my god so godly. He asks for help, something we can't do. He accepts his mistakes, something we can't do. He forgives, something we can't do. He speaks up when he must, something we can't. He defends, protects when he must, something we can't do.
I believe in God. Because, my god is the one who broke his promise to help five brothers win a war for righteousness, my god is the one who kept his promise and saved a woman's honour in front a court full of men, when her husbands failed to protect her honour. My god is the one who gave a person a hundred chances to correct himself, but sheathed his head the moment he made the same mistake one-hundred-and-one-nth time. And, my god is the same one who took a form only to feel a mother's undying love. My god is the same one who refused heaven without his wife. My god is the same one who cried rivers helplessly when his wife was abducted. My god is the same one who selflessly adhered to his father's orders and left for exile. My god is the same one who became deaf to his mother's weeps and left his throne. My god is the same one who walked down the path of Shabri's hut, ate her half-eaten fruits, with delight. My god is the same one who gave his friend who fed him rice with devotion, his whole palace. My god is kind.
My god doesn't promise me a stormless sea, he promises me an unsinkable ship. He doesn't answer my prayers right away, but he also doesn't punish me for my sins right away. He gives the bad people a chance, but he also tests the good and pious ones. That is why I believe in my god. My god doesn't promise me eternal happiness, he promises me unshakable will. My god doesn't vanquish all that is bad and evil, instead he preserves the good, because he knows, utopia is a myth. My god does not promise me heaven if I live right, nor does he banishes me to hell when I sin. Instead, he gives me a chance to correct my wrongs over millions of births, and finally gives me a place at his abode when he deems me worthy.
Maybe this is why, I love my God, I do not fear him. I do not fear what will happen to me if I sin, because I know, he will give me a chance to correct me. But, I also know that he won't keep quiet if he sees me repeatedly do wrong. My god doesn't ask me to worship him all day, my god asks me to do what I must, and remember him while doing so. My god doesn't ask me to give all that I own to him, he only asks for my ultimate devotion. And that is why, he is my god, my anchor, the one who fights battles for me I don't even know about, the one who helps to fight my sorrows, the one who only asks me to do what i must, and leave the rest to him, the one who carries my world on his shoulder.
And as the story goes, he will come when he must. He will show himself to me when he must. He will give me what I want when he must, he will punish me when he must. But, I know, he will always love me, he will always comfort me, he will always anchor me when all goes wrong. He will always look after me when no one else can. He will always fight with the world for me. He will always forgive me, when the world even refuses to look at me. And that is exactly why, he is my god, my savior, my friend, not someone I fear, but someone I love.
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