@sithdestined said; 😳 — what was your most embarrassing moment in the rpc?
╰► SOURCE: (not) munday asks
I've had a PLETHORA of embarrassing moments here in the rpc, so it'll probably come as no surprise that selecting one amongst the many to recount as an answer to this question was definitely a struggle. The moment which came to mind first was one with which you are already familiar since you helped me through it, but it was too good of a potential choice not to detail in this response. Despite the fact that several months have passed, this encounter STILL makes me cringe.
A few months ago, I reconnected with an old mutual of mine who expressed interest in writing with my alternate redemption verse centric portrayal of Dooku. Delighted to be writing with them again, I naïvely assumed that they would be open to writing with all of my Star Wars muses, and sent them a few links to interaction calls and information that I had recently posted for Shi’al. Each and every one of these attempts to garner interaction went unacknowledged, but my neurodivergent ass never recognized this lack of interaction as a clear sign of disinterest. We’ll come back to this in a bit— it’s important later in the story, so keep it in mind.
Shortly after I began posting on my askbox meme blog, a sudden onset of turbulent emotions drove me to write a psa regarding the fact that those of us with female oc’s can tell when our female muses are being pushed to the side in favor of our canon male muses, and it hurts. The mutual with whom interactions were recently kindled felt some type of way about the post, sending me a knee-jerk message accusing me of writing the psa as a vauge directed towards themself. After I reassured them that it was in fact NOT meant as a vaguepost, they pointed out that the psa was a “weird post” and suggested that the language used made “people feel guilty for prioritizing the muses that interest them”. According to them, “canons will always be more accessible to people”. I informed them that it was not my intention to guilt trip — after all, there are NUMEROUS psa’s with similar language all over the rpc — and that I struggle with direct communication.
This revelation opened up a dialogue where the mutual then bluntly told me that interactions with Shi’al “falls outside my range of interest”, and that they feel “guilt tripped and forced” whenever I subtly imply that I’d love for their muses to interact with her. I was utterly MORTIFIED and completely blindsided by this admission, but the mortification did not stop there — they also revealed in the same breath that they felt “talked over” because “everything i say about my own muses is instantly associated back to yours”, and although they understood that it was a “way to relate”, it made the conversation unequal “when it comes to discussing headcanons and ideas”. Sharing relatable experiences is one way that I as an Autistic and ADHD individual try to connect to others, so hearing this was like a gut punch to my stomach.
Now aware that the mutual doesn’t want to interact here, I blocked them on this account, and have not spoken with them on Discord since because what they said — even if it was meant to help me become a better person — still stings. It shattered my already low confidence with regards to pursuing interactions for a while, and I’m still emotionally recovering from this rude wake up call and blow to my ego.
TLDR; I got told that I talk about my own OC too much, and even though the conversation was meant to help, I’m still lowkey hurting over it. Also, moral of the story: don’t assume that someone who follows you is open to interacting with all of your muses. Always ask directly first!
