Feb 24, 2023
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#the fatigue has been so bad this week#eating?#unappealing#too much work#sitting up?#literally watching the minutes (even tho i have hours left) til i can sit down without getting deconditioned#work?#i'm showing up and doing my people-facing tasks#but almost no admin#trying to figure out if i can leave my house both saturday and sunday or if i need to take one day completely off 😔#BUT#and this is both a glorious thing#and the thing that is making this so distressing#i am almost kind of mentally-awake-ish#i can scroll tumblr#i am awake enough that i am bored#i don't want to talk verbally (exhausting) but little bursts of texting are kind of okay#its a horrible mix of a flare + those seeds of progress that actually make things more upseting bc u have enough resources to be distressed#but that might actually be itself a sign of progress?#project be upright for 10-15 hours a day#chronic illness#i am so tired#i am also so tired of pretending to not be disabled to make well people feel better