This post addresses some points I was asked to share my perspective on in the comments of my original post.
Please keep in mind that:
This will be highly critical of Nesta’s character.
I will not respond to rude, hostile, or aggressive comments, nor will I engage with “what about that other character” remarks that are simply attempts to put Nesta in a better light. (It doesn’t work with me, folks: it either makes me laugh or roll my eyes).
It's going to be a long post.
If you’d like my opinion on other characters or their specific actions, please ask respectfully and in a way that’s unrelated to Nesta.
I will be quoting parts of the comments I’m responding to. The author of the comments is @dimlycraftyvision, who may no longer be interested in reading my response. However, these are points I never got to make on this platform, and since I’ve already written this, take it as:
A general argument about Nesta and an analysis of what happened with A Court of Silver Flames.
Comment:
I am Very Respectfully asking exactly why do you think that despite the narrative labelling things nesta does as cruel and abusive (wheather it is in Acotar or in acomaf or if they are reasonable) people choose to support nesta and point finger at others' behaviour, cassian following nesta in acofas for instance
A lot of readers forgive Nesta’s repeated cruelty because they see her trauma as a justification. This happens a lot in romance and fantasy: feeling empathy for a character can make people excuse the harm they do to others. But trauma doesn’t erase responsibility. Repeated harmful actions still have real consequences.
A lot of Nesta stans defend her by blaming other characters instead. That’s usually about protecting an idealized version of her. Some treat her like she can never be wrong, or like she’s entitled to act however she wants because she’s suffered. Some even glorify the way she weaponizes words to hurt people, calling it “badass” instead of seeing it as a real problem. And then the moment someone else stands up to her in the same way, suddenly they’re the bad guy. That’s a double standard. Nesta rarely has to face consequences, but if anyone mirrors her, it’s a problem. Expecting people to tolerate being treated badly forever isn’t realistic or fair. It's called reaping what you sow. Nobody deserves or wants to be someone’s punchbag.
The narrative also softens her actions a lot. It doesn’t fully show how damaging her words and mental manipulations are. It doesn’t depict Nesta’s actions as nearly as bad as they truly are. That’s the thing: people sense that, because deep down they know her behavior is genuinely harmful, and in a way that feels very real and relatable. But the series as a whole fails to properly acknowledge how traumatizing her repeated behavior would be for the people around her. Words have consequences, and repeated cruelty leaves trauma. Ignoring this amounts to gaslighting oneself into believing she is somehow innocent in that regard.
That’s not to say she’s “bad” in the same way Amarantha was, for example. But repeatedly diminishing someone’s self-worth, their efforts, and their very person just to make herself feel better doesn’t make her a good one either. Not all abuse is physical, and you know that, because you can recognize the abuse her own mother inflicted on her.
Appreciating Nesta's resilience or the start of her growth is valid, but it does not justify erasing the harm she has caused.
Other fans consider her a symbol of female empowerment, which is an overstatement. True empowerment is about self-sufficiency, responsibility, and ethical action. Standing up to people doesn’t automatically equal empowerment if it comes paired with entitlement and constant reliance on others for support.
Basically: recognizing Nesta’s resilience and growth is one thing; but overlooking her repeated harm, excusing her cruelty, ignoring her repeated harm, or rewriting interactions to make her look good is not the same thing. A balanced view means acknowledging both her flaws and her potential.
Comment:
And no, other characters' slander is not the only defense of nesta for it is a way of describing the hypocritical narrative of acotar Another defense of her is that she has ONLY ever lashed out when provoked and yet ALWAYS contributed Have YOU ever thought that even nesta stans, nesta antis, nessian shippers are not happy with the treatment she got in acosf meaning THE AUTHOR HERSELF doesn't think she deserves enough, Despite leaving things in good terms in acotar they are forgotte in acomaf when feyre is the one to show up not as a sister but as queen to make a statement, nesta is also described as a viper AND YET opposing the narrative people understand her and that she deserves better Why do you think it is so?
The narrative in ACoTaR isn’t hypocritical: it reflects Feyre’s truth. Similarly, ACoSF presents Nesta’s truth. Some people act as if third-person POV is automatically objective, but that’s not how it works. A truly omniscient narrator might be “objective”, but a third-person limited POV is filtered through the perspective of the character whose story we’re reading. Their thoughts, biases, personalities, sympathies and emotions, all shape what we see. That’s why Feyre and Nesta perceive the same people and events so differently.
It’s also worth noting that Nesta doesn’t really know most of the people she judges harshly. She isn’t interested in verifying whether her assumptions about them are accurate; instead, she often pushes them to confirm her preconceptions by confronting them aggressively: an approach that makes it nearly impossible to respond positively, over and over again.
Reading from Nesta’s POV actually makes it clear that Feyre probably gave her far too much benefit of the doubt. My opinion of Nesta comes from her own words, reasoning, and actions, not from Feyre’s interpretation. Trauma doesn’t grant anyone a permanent free pass to hurt others and expect endless forgiveness. Both POVs are biased, so the “truth” lies somewhere in between. To judge a character fairly, you have to look at what they actually do and say. And, if they have their own POV, how they think, reason, and what motivates them. Not just how others describe them.
It’s also worth remembering that ACoTaR was originally intended to be a trilogy, and planned as such. Elain and Nesta were side characters (Feyre’s family), which is why they were so underdeveloped in the first two books. At that stage, there was no sequel planned, so that version of Nesta was meant to be definitive. When SJM decided to expand the series, she effectively reshaped the narrative to favor Nesta. Her earlier actions, originally portrayed one way, were softened or recontextualized. Other characters’ reactions were adjusted as well, making her more sympathetic. The story quite literally shifted to appeal to readers, rather than to fully explore the consequences of her behavior. Her first depiction reflected the role she was meant to play; the later expansion clearly aimed to make her more likeable to a broader audience, likely for commercial reasons.
Some examples of this shift:
The Nessian ship gained major hype after that emotional scene in ACoWaR, which naturally increased reader investment.
ACoSF focuses much more on romance and erotica than on typical fantasy elements, prioritizing relationships (and sex) over plot. That may sell better now, but it changes the tone of the story and doesn’t really align with the overall romantasy style SJM used in her other works.
New characters are introduced who never knew Nesta before. They didn’t witness how she treated people or what she did prior to her so-called “development”. Unsurprisingly, they tend to like her. And, if they like her, readers are encouraged to like her too. It makes sense: they weren’t targets of her behavior, so they don’t know the full picture, and it is easier for them to like her.
Some characters’ personalities are subtly tweaked to justify her likability. Take Azriel, for instance: he would realistically react quite differently, not just take a hit and shrug it off. But the story softens those moments so that Nesta comes out looking better.
Final Topics I Was Asked My Perspective On
1. Cassian/Nessian
I try not to think much about Cassian because, honestly, ACoSF totally butchered his character for me. The fact that Nesta was falling apart in front of him, and he kept repeating how much he wanted to have sex with her, disgusted me on so many levels that I can’t even remember what I used to like about him in the first three books. I also can’t understand how people ship them. She calls him a bastard, humiliates him, and uses all his weaknesses to hurt him constantly. Meanwhile, he follows her around like a loyal dog and thinks about fuc*ing her even as she struggles with her mental health. They bond over sex. How deep. It reads like a cheap romance novel focused on smut, with no real plot or meaningful character development.
The original commenter assumed that, because I don’t worship Nesta, I must like Cassian or the IC in general. This is a recurring problem in the fandom: it’s treated as an either/or situation, when it doesn’t have to be. All these characters (every single one of them) is flawed and makes mistakes. Pointing out one character’s mistakes does not erase another’s. And I can assure you, there isn’t a single character in this story whose actions or words I agree with completely.
The differences here are important:
Readers often overlook that a single mistake can be understandable, but repeated harmful behavior is a problem. A “mistake” implies the character, in that moment, didn’t fully realize the harm they were causing or didn’t intend to hurt or control. This is not the case with Nesta. She actively chooses to act in ways meant to harm, and she is fully aware of what she does. This is all evident in her POV.
I haven’t seen Nesta stans admit her mistakes. Instead, they tend to blame others, either by minimizing the consequences of her actions or rewriting canon to fit their vision. Nesta also seems, in some ways, justified by the narrative itself. While other characters are called out for their actions (even by other characters) Nesta is not.
For example, ACoTaR–ACoMaF clearly shows the impact and consequences of Nesta's behavior on Feyre (as I discussed here). but Feyre never firmly stated: “Nesta caused me trauma/issues”, even though Nesta has clearly stated that her mother abused her. This is a clear acknowledgment of wrongdoing, which is not extended to Nesta’s own actions. People often shrug when it comes to her, simply because it’s “her”. Being “that way” is not an excuse for abusing others, either.
Some mistakes are deeply rooted in the fantasy context and can at least make sense within that framework. However, if decontextualized, they may take on an entirely different significance. Again, this is not the case with Nesta or Tamlin. Whether you interpret their actions and intentions within the fantasy context or decontextualize them (such as trying to control a person or verbally abusing her for years) the problematic aspects remain exactly the same.
2. Nesta’s Behavior and Accountability
Nesta does not only lash out when provoked. Or, if she does, almost everything seems like a provocation to her, even when people are trying to help or begging her to act to prevent others from dying. She is usually forced into action by circumstances or by people unwilling to let others suffer simply because she refuses to help. When she does act, it is often the bare minimum. There is nothing to glorify here: no meaningful, spontaneous contribution on her part, except for a few moments involving Emerie and Gwyn (toward whom she has acted differently from almost the very beginning. And it makes all the difference) and Elain in the first trilogy. Even then, and even more so in ACoSF, she often seems more like someone trying to clip her sister’s wings “for her own good,” making her as controlling as Tamlin.
3. Canon vs. Fan Expectations
I say this as someone who was genuinely interested in seeing Nesta’s development after ACoWaR, though that interest lasted barely two seconds, since ACoSF immediately established a series of problematic premises. It doesn’t matter what idealized version of Nesta people imagined after ACoWaR; it doesn’t matter what could have been. ACoSF happened. That is canon. That is Nesta. That is what Cassian and Nessian have become. When discussing the original story, that is what should be taken into account. Everything else is fanfiction and should not be projected onto canon.
The truth is, in her own POV, Nesta comes across even worse than Feyre’s perspective ever suggested. It was deeply disturbing to read how she seemed to enjoy hurting people with her words, taking satisfaction in doing so, unfairly targeting those who saved her life or tried to help her despite everything. It was equally disturbing to read that she wanted everyone to be miserable simply because she was. I really wish SJM had taken another direction, but she didn’t. And Nesta never truly showed any sign of remorse, nor apologized, nor did anything truly significant to make amends.
Self-loathing means nothing if you knowingly harm others and choose not to change. If, instead, you continue to do so, enjoying every moment and the pain it causes others, that is an active choice. A choice Nesta has made for decades, and a very problematic one in every sense. (Also, remember she is around 25 years old, not a gullible teenager). Nesta acknowledges this behavior and her motivations in her own POV. Trauma does not give her the right to hurt or traumatize others; it does not justify her actions.
Consider, for example, that she literally kicked her disabled father’s stick away, and then stood watching him struggle, humiliating him and taking satisfaction in it. Imagine that happening in real life. What kind of person does that to someone with a disability?
She completely lacks any form of empathy and demands respect and understanding for her trauma, yet rarely extends the same to others, even to those who have suffered far more than she has. She is profoundly hypocritical. And that is not an isolated case. For instance, she withheld the truth about Feyre’s dangerous pregnancy, only revealing it later to hurt her when it suited her most. This was not about doing the right thing; she would not have said anything if she had not wanted Feyre to suffer. Doing the right thing counts for nothing if the intention is to harm rather than to help or make things right.
4. Understanding vs. Excusing
Understanding a character and excusing everything they do are two very different things. One can like a character, understand most (or even all) of their actions, and still recognize, admit, and criticize the wrong ones.
5. Nesta vs. Elain
I’ll add this because I hope I’ll never have to comment on Nesta again.
The difference between her and Elain is simple: at least Elain is trying. She shows gratitude for what Feyre has done for her, and now she is even making an effort to act herself. She does not demand more from Feyre out of spite, selfishness, or greed. It's that simple.
6. Character Butchering in A Court of Silver Flames
I’ll end by saying that A Court of Silver Flames felt like a mass butchering of all the characters. Most of them acted out of character solely to push Nesta’s storyline forward. A storyline in which she never truly redeems herself or learns much beyond how to throw a few punches. The CC crossover suggests that she continues indulging in the same behaviors. If ACoSF was meant to give her a new beginning, this was a rocky start.
So what was the point of this story, aside from giving some insight into her past, pairing Cassian and Nesta, helping her find her “found family,” setting up plot threads for the following books, and turning her into some kind of “warrior” on an unrealistic timeline? All of this could have been done in fewer than 400-500 pages. Instead, the book stretched to almost 800 pages, and Nesta still didn’t receive a fully developed character arc. In a newsletter, SJM stated that she started writing the sequels “for fun” and was later convinced to publish them, and it shows. Considering how it is written, it doesn’t even feel like one of her books in the first place.
Honestly, no one came out of that book looking good.
