#skeptical man

[lordmarble]

Rating Bloodborne Men Based on Their Facedata and Nothing Else: Part 2

Let’s just jump right into roasting these men lol

1. Edgar, Choir Intelligence

The concerned look here is real. But there’s a meanness to it, unlike Simon from the last rating. Almost as if he’s holding back his laughter because I do not understand Calculus II unlike him, Smart Annoying Man With A Big Sword. If Berdley Deltarune were in Bloodborne this would be him. He is not that specific brand of nerd I like. 3/10

2. Madman’s escort

He looks like a sorry attempt at a bishounen version of the Ao Oni monster, who is insulting me for not owning an air fryer. 0/10

3. Skeptical Man

I wanna punch him across the face but it appears someone already did that for me! Now do it again!! 8/10, not because he’s handsome (to be clear, he is ugly as hell, he’s really a 2/10), but because that’s exactly what I wanna see after I kill him

4. Suspicious Beggar

I LOVE THAT HE COMES WITH THE BLOOD SPLATTER LMAO. The exaggerated smirk is also hilarious. He seems really cocky about eating everyone and not getting caught because he’s the only beast blood pellet dealer. 8/10 his appearance fits his character perfectly

5. Queen Killer

Unfortunately, not the sex icon I was hoping he would be, nor does he bear any semblance to either Freddy Mercury or Kira Yoshikage. :( Other than that he’s a normal bald man who hasn’t seen the sun in a decade. 6/10

6. Damian of Mensis

He looks like he’s about to tell me how to summon a Patronus. Old and wise. If he just had a beard I would believe he’s a wizard. Teach me how to cast the forbidden wizard spell Ketamine Ape Attack, good sir. 9/10 for magic vibes alone

7. Beastial Hunter

Now THAT is a face I would associate with a feral man running around the Nightmare and attacking random people! This is peak character design, even if we can’t really see his face ingame I appreciate the effort behind the scenes! 10/10 I would certainly find this man in a trash can and fighting Brador for leftovers

8. Old Hunter Henryk

Honestly he doesn’t like THAT old as he’s implied to be?? He looks very serious and tired of this bullshit. He’s about to yell at the Hunter for hurting Gascoigne and I understand. Just don’t tell him I accidentally sent the daughter to her death on my first run… he’s still a lovable grumpy old man tho 8/10

9. Old Hunter Vitus

He has this Holier-Than-Thou look on his face. He looks like he’s been trying to convince people that he’s a long lost relative of the Sparda bloodline. Unfortunately, he’s not sexy enough. Also I know I said I’m only judging based on face data but this guy was a useless summon in Loran lol 4/10

10. Unused Vileblood

WHAT’S THE WORST THAT I COULD SAAAAY? THINGS ARE BETTER IF I STAAAAY! SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT SO LOOONG AND GOODNIIIIGHT! WELL IF YOU CARRY ON THIS WAAAY THING ARE BETTER IF I STAAAY SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT SO LOOONG AND GOODNIIIIIGHT—

Emo/10

[fishing-hamlet]

Day 3 : Bigoted Old Man / Narrow Minded Man / Skeptical Man / whatever the fuck his official name is

found it funny of him to describe his probably garbage-lookin-hole of a house as a castle. bitch doesnt even die like every other npc what is he there for

so bigoted he Cannot Die

[folkdevilism]

Visit Original Link

Ahh, your lies spin a web...

But I see through your deceit!

I did not learn from books. No, no, no, no, no...

I learned it all with my own mind...

[lordmarble]

Top 10 Bloodborne Characters Who Need to Touch Grass (in no particular order)

Interpret “touch grass” in any way you please, and please don’t take this seriously this is just for funsies because I feel like roasting some characters lol

Oeden Chapel Dweller - I think they would enjoy running those long hands through some grass. Maybe some dandelions too. I would set up a picnic under a tree for them :) and they could use some outside time too to make some more friends

Alfred - Alfred. Alfred sweetie. Maybe if you spent less time on r/vilebloodssuck and r/executionersupremacy and engaging with random Vilebloods despite the big “VILEBLOODS DNI” in your Twitter bio, you’d hate them a little less. I think some grass would ease your bigotry a little. The world isn’t Martyr Logarius <///3

Brador - Like Alfred, he needs to touch grass to get that Healing Church propaganda out of his head, but for different reasons. Please don’t pledge yourself to the blood cult, and don’t let them make you think you’re an angel of mercy for killing those against them. Also he needs to eat his greens in general. Although, cooping him up in jail seems to have given him the biggest pair of balls out of anyone for taunting the player into killing him.

Gilbert - He’s spent too much time cooped up indoors. He has good reasons for doing so, but I want him to enjoy a sunset out on a grassy meadow and catch some butterflies. He deserves to be outside <3

Gehrman - Gehrman. Gehrman Gehrman Gehrman. Please don’t tell me making a doll out of her was your only way to cope with her death. I would cringe less if you posted a video of you crying with a monochrome filter and a gofundme for the funeral. If cringe culture is dead then why do I cringe at you, Gehrman :(

Adella - No, honey, killing the person who your love interest is talking to will not make them give you more attention/fall for you. I get that you have social anxiety, I do too, but that should’ve stopped you from stabbing Arianna to death?? Strangely enough, she’s not the one who gives the most yandere vibes to me. I don’t know why, but it’s Alfred for me??

Patches - Despite appearing in 4-5 other universes he hasn’t touched enough grass. Not even in Elden Ring. All of Limgrave is grass— just pick a patch, Patches!!!!

Skeptical Man - TOUCH SOME GRASS DIPSHIT. STOP BROWSING REDDIT. I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE YOU UNGRATEFUL CUNT???

Micolash - Kos isn’t gonna grant you eyes anytime soon if you don’t go outside!!! I think Micolash needs a social life and some sunlight. I would moisten him with a watering can and sprinkle on some fertilizer. Seriously man, touch some grass.

Rom - Maybe you wouldn’t have lost all your braincells if you went outside and touched some grass, instead of ascending humanity by becoming Great One Kin :/ She is a spider, I think she would enjoy the grass and catch some crickets :) I would personally feed her a gut loaded Dubia roach tho

[hobbitjess]

I will never trust artificial intelligence things.