#skz-angst

[jeonchan26]

Used To Be (Part 18)

Warnings; Angst, A Little Bit Of Fluff(Maybe) Self-Esteem & swearing. Mental Abuse, Toxic Relationship, Don’t Read If It Might Trigger You.

This Is All Made Up, I Don’t Believe The Boys Would Do Any Of This. Our Boys Are Angels❤️ Remember That Chan Is The Most BEAUTIFUL Human In This World And He Will Never Hurt A Fly.

Also, I apologize for the super late post I’ve been busy with a new job and just my life outside of tumblr. I haven’t had time to upload but I’ll try my best to finish the story. 

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CHAN’S POV

     Chan looked at you in shocked, you have never raised your voice at him or walked away from him. He looked down at the floor but looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up he saw Changbin staring at him, “You going to stand there and watch your wife walk away with your son, or are you actually going to try and stop her?” 

    “Listen man, you know I love you with all my heart, you’re my brother. But you have to change. This isn’t you, you love this girl and then one day you went changed..why? You never told us but I think we have the right to know what is going on. You don’t have to tell us right now, but you do have to tell us. Right now if you really love her like we know you do you fight for her to stay and make it up to her for all the shit you have put her through since you found out she was pregnant.”  He said as he nodded to the rest of the gang to leave before he gave you a hug and walked away. 

      Chan sigh before running his fingers through his hair before running to your room to see you packing. He saw you wiping your tears as he looked at Kai who was awake playing in his crib. 

    “Y/N, wait please listen to me” He said grabbing your hands to stop you from continuing to pack. “Baby please! Look I’m sorry!” he said as you pulled away from his grip. 

Y/N’S POV

    “WHAT!” You snapped pulling away from his grip. “WHAT YOU’RE GONNA SCREAM AT ME AGAIN, TELL ME HOW WORTHLESS I AM!” You screamed as you looked at him with nothing but hurt and sadness in your eyes. 

    Chan looked down at your words feeling guilty before looking back at you. “Listen baby I’m sorry okay, I shouldn’t have never treated you the way I did. I was just angry because...because” he shocked on his words feeling the tears coming. 

     “Because why? What changed between us Chan, we were so in love and then one day you left me the worst way possible, slept with me and got me pregnant. I tried to please you in every way possible but all you did was treat me like I was never worth your love. That I didn’t matter, but god forbid I make friends and you didn’t even let me have that. You have made my life miserable and I never knew why...” you cried as you sat on the bed looking down at feet feeling his stares on her. “Please tell me what I did wrong for you to hate and treat me like that...” You  whispered. 

    You heard him sigh before he walked closer to you, you kept your gaze on the floor. “Y/N, baby please...I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you...” he sigh scrunching down and lift your face so you’re face to face with him. “I think I need to be honest with you, I never want to lose you or Kai. But when I broke up with you it wasn’t by choice, my parents made me because they had already arranged for me to marry Rachel. When I told my parents I wasn’t going to do it, they go upset and well, they threat to hurt you if I didn’t. I couldn’t let that happened. The time I saw and we slept together, I don’t know what happened, I just missed you and I couldn’t hold back.” He finally confessed. 

    “Why didn’t you tell me? why weren’t you honest me.. You know you could’ve been honest, I would’ve of understand” You whispered as you wiped your tears. 

    “Because I had to show my parents that you weren’t in my life anymore...I’ve never told you but I’m not exactly a CEO.” he said taking your hands in his, you looked at him confused. 

   “Then what do you do?” You asked looking at him confused trying to figure him out. He looked down at his hands before letting out a sigh scared to tell you the truth. 

    “My dad was actually the boss of the mafia Stray Kids, but just recently it went to me. I’m the leader now and the rest of the boys are in as well. That’s why I was to marry Rachel, her family and mine where going to combine gang but then they found out you were pregnant and that ended the relationship. My dad gave me two options either marry you or get rid of you and the baby. Rachel’s parent weren’t happy but they understood, Rachel wasn’t but she became a part of the gang anyways. Her parents still choose to let me take over, without marrying their daughter. Which is why she acted the way she does when she sees you, she never got over me choosing to kept you instead of her.” He sigh his voice cracking a little as talked about getting rid of you.

    “Then why hurt me? Why treat me the way you did, why did you hurt Jungkook and his friends, when they were helping me?” 

    “Because I couldn’t stand the fact that you wanted to move on and give our son a new father. I treated you the way I did because my parents still keep an eye on me when it came to you. When my dad found out you were pregnant he was more upset then anything with me because his plans have gone to the gutter. He wanted to make sure that Kai was mine and you weren’t trapping me. That’s why I made sure that no guy got close to you and when you befriended Jungkook, I lost it because I knew that I would lose you to him and I couldn’t risk it. That’s why I treated you the way I did, and in no shape or form was that the right thing to do. But I was scared to lose you, even right now I’m scared to lose you. That’s why I acted the way I did out there. I’m trying to change, the Chan you saw earlier is still the same Chan just with more baggage than before. Just please give me another chance, I can’t lose you again neither of you” he whispered as tears fell down his face. 

    “Chan, you can’t ask me to forget and forgive everything you have done to me, to us. You’ve hurt more than anything...this isn’t easy” You whispered pulling away from him.

    “Y/N, please I’ll do anything to keep you with me. I can’t lose you not again. I’ll change I promise I’ll treat you like the queen you are, just please please don’t leave me. Let me prove that I can go back to who I used to be, for you and Kai, for our family” He plead sitting behind you wrapping his arms around your waist to hold you close, putting his head on your should kissing you lightly. 

    “I don’t know Chan, can I think about it? I know we are married but this is a new to me. I just can forget everything that happened between us the past year. If  you would’ve of been honest with me, you knew I never cared about your background, I love because you are you. Not because of your background, I could careless. Its obvious you didn’t have that faith with me because you weren’t honest with me, you lied to me and treated me like I was the worst mistake of your life. It isn’t something I can just forget about it. Understand that this is new information for me. Knowing you’re a mafia boss changes a lot of things but now Kai’s safety is to be question” You said honestly. 

     “Listen baby, it’s no lie that now that you know the truth it changes things between us. Your safety & Kai’s is all that matters to me and it’s my job to keep you guys safe. Everybody knows you’re my wife and that we have a kid and you would be a target whether you’re with me or not. But I promise you on my life that nothing is every going to happen to you ever. The boys, my alliance will do anything to make sure you guys are protected” He whispered cupping your face to turn to face him. 

    When you looked at him you saw nothing but sincerity and love. You felt the love between you guys that has never left. You sigh before looking down, “Chan can I please think about it? But if I decide to stay with you, you have to promise that no more mistreating me. You have to give me my place as your wife and not some type of trophy wife. I worth a lot more than that. I’m the mother of your child, I deserve respect.” 

    “I promise I’ll be better for us, just please think about it. Don’t leave me” He mumbled as looked into your eyes before giving you a soft kiss. 

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Sorry if it’s short, but what do you think? Should she stay or leave Chan? Let me know in the comments. 

[jeonchan26]

Used To Be (Part 7)

Warnings; Angst, A Little Bit Of Fluff(Maybe) Self-Esteem & swearing. Mental Abuse, Toxic Relationship, Don’t Read If It Might Trigger You.

This Is All Made Up, I Don’t Believe The Boys Would Do Any Of This. Our Boys Are Angels❤️

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Days have passed and Chan’s words kept playing in your mind. “Would he really take your son away? But I thought he didn’t want nothing to do with him, what changed his mind?” You thought. 

Monday came sooner than you could think and you started to get ready for school. You knew you had to tell Jungkook soon about the baby, you were bigger now and you couldn’t hide your baby bump at least if anybody came to a hugging distance they would defiantly feel it. You met Jungkook outside the cafe, he smiled and wave at you. “Hey noona, I got you a hot chocolate since you don’t drink coffee” He said with a smile handing you the drink and giving you a side hug. “Hey thank you! You’re a life savor haha” You told him. As you guys started walking you knew that it was now or never. You had to do it, “Hey Kookie, there’s something I need to tell you and I don’t know how you’re going to react to it.” You stopped walking looking down at your feet. Jungkook looked at you with a worry face, “What’s wrong is everything okay?” He said turning to face you. 

“See the thing is. Before you came Chris and I used to be a couple. But umm he left me for Rachel. Umm things happened and I’m pregnant with his kid” Your voice travel to a soft whisper. When you looked up you saw Jungkook staring at you with a shocked face but then soften after he register what you had said. “Oh wow noona. Umm I really don’t know what to say” he said looking down at his feet. So many emotions were going through his mind, he didn’t know what to feel exactly. “Umm I understand if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore. I’m used to people leaving me already. You wouldn’t be the first” You said with a sigh, you knew it was coming. Why would Jungkook want to be friends with a girl that is pregnant by another guy. “I hope you have a good life and I wish you the best” you told him with a sad voice as you started to walk away from him. 

“Wait noona, no! I still want to be friends. Chris is a jerk for leaving you for someone else. He doesn’t deserve you. You’re an amazing person noona! I’m so happy we became friends this year” Jungkook pulled you back towards him, you gasped at how close your faces were when you looked up at him. “Really? You don’t mind being friends with me, even though I’m pregnant with someone’s else kid?” You asked him, being so close to him was making you feel some sort of way. It felt the same way when Chan touches you, the butterflies in your stomach. “Wait butterflies? Omg my son kicked” you gasp and smiled. “Umm noona did you’re baby just kicked?” Jungkook asked pulling away enough to see your baby bump. “Omg did you feel it too? I thought it was just in my head. My son kicked!” You had a huge smile on your face and you pulled Jungkook in for a hug.

“You’re having a baby boy?” Jungkook asked. “Yea I just found out!” you said pulling away. “I was being serious I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me whether you want me or not! You’re an amazing person and anybody would be stupid to let you go. Come on, we are going to be late for school” Jungkook said holding your hand and pulling you the direction of the school. You were in your own little bubble that you didn’t notice 4 pairs of eyes starting at both you and Jungkook.

Once you arrived at school you felt at ease knowing that Jungkook was by your side the now and you could really use a friend right now, especially with Chan’s threat. You and Jungkook both said your goodbyes and you headed towards your locker, you couldn't believe that your son kicked. Now thinking about it you had to come up with a name for him. You were brought back to reality by your locker slamming shut in front of you, you jumped back in shocked and turn to see Chan, Minho and Jisung next you, Chan glaring at you. “Well well well, look at you all smiley this early. Tell me what has gotten you so happy?” Chan said with a smirk on his face. “N-nothing” you stutter, “(y/n) since when do you stutter?” Minho asked. “I didn’t st-stutter?” damn it whats up with you today. 

“You know a little birdie told me that you and Jungkook were holding hands today in the morning, and get this you told him you were expecting?” Chan said leaning closer to your face. You noticed that the hall was empty, where is everybody? did the bell ring? 

Fingers snap in front of your face, making you jump a little, “Yea so, he has the right to know” you told Chan stepping back a little only to bump into Jisung. “Why does he have to know? are you guys dating? because last time I checked you weren’t allowed to see anybody else because you’re mine” Chan said in a deep but low voice, Jisung was holding you in place so every time Chan got close to you, you couldn’t move. “Chan please just leave me alone?” You begged, tears threatening to fall. “Aww are you going to cry? Do you want me to get Jungkook for you?” Chan smirked, “You don’t have to I’m right here! Let her go man!” You gasped when you saw Jungkook staring daggers at Chan and his friends. 

“Wow, just in time, the knight and shinny armor to appear” Chan laugh. “Listen Jungkook, I don’t want to be rude but this doesn’t concern you” he said again, Minho blocking you from Jungkook’s view. “I don’t care Chan, she is my friend and I don’t like how you and your friends are treating her” Jungkook said coming face to face with Chan. They were both staring daggers at each other, you could literally cut the tension with a knife. You heard Chan chuckle, “Well looks like our conversation will have to wait for another time. Oh i bet you would be invited to the wedding Jungkook?” Chan asked Jungkook and you can hear the smirk in his voice. You haven’t told Jungkook about the wedding, the threat, you didn’t want to at least not yet but know the cat is out of the bag. 

“What the hell you talking about Chan?” Jungkook asked in a low voice but you can hear the anger in it.

“Oh (y/n) didn’t tell you? we are getting married soon. Since you know the baby is mine after all? She didn’t really tell you that? Wow some friend you are. Did you lie and tell him something different. You left me and tried to hide the pregnancy from me. I can’t believe you lied to Jungkook and try to make me look bad. ” Chan turn to give you a fake shocked face. You pulled away from Jisung and try to grab Jungkook’s hand. 

“Wait Jungkook, no that isn’t true” You tried to explain, tears falling down. “You never told me you guys were going to get married, what the hell? You made it seem like he didn’t want nothing to do with you or the baby. Why did you lie to me? Just leave me alone.” Jungkook was upset that you kept that a secret. “No that isn’t the case kookie please let me explain” You tried but Jungkook walked away feeling hurt. 

“Wow (y/n) that was a lot easier than I thought it would be? Haha now you get to see what is like to be worthless, alone and unwanted. But don’t worry baby soon you’ll be living the life that a gold digger deserves but let me tell you it won’t be a happy one” Chan said starting to walk away. You pulled him back and slapped, hard and for a second everything turn red. “Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone! what do you want from me! I’m not going to marry a sick bastard like you! because of you I just lost the one person that has been by my side since you left me! Why are you allowed to be free and I can’t!!!” You started to hit him on the chest but got pulled back by Minho and Jisung. Chan smirked, “you know why baby! I guess you don’t love our son enough than. I wasn’t joking when I said I will take him away from you once he is born. You better think very carefully, I want an answer by the end of the day got it!” He grabbed your chin and kissed roughly, it was hard to push him away being held back. 

School went painfully slow. Jungkook wasn’t talking to you, pretending you didn’t exist and that hurt. You tried to hold back your tears and held your head up high, but the news of you being pregnant was already spread all over the school. You knew Chan was responsible for it. Everywhere you went all your hear was the hateful comments made towards you.

“What a slut!”

“I can’t believe she thinks she can compare herself like Rachel.”

“Chan is lucky he isn’t with her anymore.”

“Whore, Homewrecker” 

Literally every comment just kept getting worse, you need Jungkook by your side. 

To Kookie; Please let me explain, he lied. I need you Kookie. Please. 

To Kookie; Kookie please talk to me. I know I should’ve of told you but you don’t know the whole story. 

From Kookie; I think it’s best if you stopped talking to me. You lied to me and that to me is a big deal. You lost my trust. Please stop texting me.

You’re heart broke, he really just dropped you like you were nothing. I guess what they say about you was right you aren’t worth it, nobody wants you. The last bell rang and everybody got up and started to leave but not before giving you a glare or saying something mean. You were looking down at your hands with tears falling down. How did your life turn into this? You questioned yourself. You put your hand on your belly, “I love you so much, I promise to protect you and love you for the rest of my life. Please don’t hate me for doing this but its for the best” you told your son. 

Chan and his friends were at the back of the class waiting for your answer. You made your way towards him and stopped to look at Chan. Chan looked annoyed, “Well??” He asked

“I accept. But not because I want too but because my son is my whole world and I don’t want to lose him” you told him. 

You knew that the moment you said yes to him your life was going to get worse.