so yesterday i posted a rather unhelpful whinge about suicidal thoughts and how they can be dealt with/not by a GP. side effect one of medication right there. deleted it pretty quickly because ain't nobody got time for that.
side effect two appeared today. i slept for 13 hours straight through. woke up at 11:49 just to roll over and go back to sleep when i looked at the time and promptly shit myself.
productive morning all round. and now it's the afternoon, great. i have stuff to do. not exciting stuff, mundane stuff like make food and pop to the post office. i also have work-y stuff because, surprise surprise, i have an essay in on monday and i obviously haven't done a thing for it. i also missed lectures this morning, as i did yesterday (though that was the whole 'let's think about topping myself knowing that i won't anyway' - swings and roundabouts). this is just not convenient or helpful. i see the nurse on fridays so i know i'll mention it to her but the only helpful thing would be to not have to do this extra lit essay this week (that i stupidly ASKED for) just so that i can do a bit of normal human functioning hoping that side effects will wear off. because i'm definitely not an agitated anxious wreck anymore which is good and don't want to have to come off something to try something else again because fuck me was that week hellish. i could even tell my tutor LOL oh wait she's about as understanding as a banana. i know she'd be like 'of course we won't do it' but would make shit so awkward and blergh and she'd say things like 'well keep in touch with the nurse' which i do anyway. okay that's unfair she's quite nice just socially inept unless you're discussing french literature.
and i'm obviously being productive now by just sitting here writing this. i am hungry though so that is something to be addressed by some lunch or breakfast or brunch or whatever this time would count as. what a lovely write off of a day.
