Discover Top Posts Tagged with #slim jim

As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it. I said to my manager as soon as he came in.

"I just want to make this clear, as soon as it hits July 5th, I'm stealing this display. I'm not asking for permission. I'm making a statement, as soon as it hits midnight July 5th, this fucker is in my car. If you're wondering where it went, Don't, because I'm telling you right now. I will have it."

I need to explain why I need this so badly. This is an artifact of pure capitalism, with layers upon layers of abstraction, to become a clear vision of how this country is willing to wring an individual for profit.

This display is a bust of Macho Man Randy Savage. Randy Mario Poffo has been dead for 15 years, but the rights to his likeness can be licensed. So he's still essentially a mascot for Slim Jim.

What appeals to me so much about this display is that it's the likeness of a dead man used to sell jerky. The memory of this man is being used to sell you meat molded into a tube. Decked out in stars and stripes, a direct violation of the US flag code. § 8 H, I, and J.

A Preserved Corpse propping up Another Preserved Corpse.

#gas station stories #slim jim #macho man #randy savage

I need the WWE and Slim Jim to collab on a rivalry marketing campaign with Good Warrior Beef Stick.

I just had one and they're amazing. I do love me some Slim Jim and nothing is gonna stop me from buying them. Here to tell ya Good Warrior is absolutely the best I've had in a minute. I'll be buying both when I see them.

But yea. Have the fighters do the "cookie apple" improv game with Slim Jim and Good Warrior. Have betrayals based on beef stick. Some wrestler is secretly snapping into a slim jim behind his mentor's back gets caught and immediately gets yelled at that "THIS is a GOOD WARRIOR house!"

And then bodyslam each other or whatever. I'm not your scriptwriter.

#queued #slim jim #goid warrior #beef wars