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I’m only sending this because I have nowhere else to put it so congratulations I guess but I was thinking about the Dolorosa and how she’s basically the first mother to ever exist and I was thinking about the unconditional love that must be involved with that. Iconic no?

Eh, moms are just okay.

Except for /my/ mom, my mom rules

#slouchers

Can we get more to the story on sucking the clowns dick

oh he’s literally just this guy I know lmao he’s cool tbh but he says he’s straight even tho he lets me sit in his lap and shares his disgusting clove ciggs w me, sometimes I catch him thinking he wishes I wasnt a dude its just some real star crossed lovers shit lmao, wish he’d get a haircut tho

#slouchers

Do you have anything on grandma Harley? I’ve seen a lot about grandpa but I don’t know I’ve I’ve missed anything about alpha grams

Nah… Grandma English is not particularly nefarious, to my knowledge.

I have begun to wonder about Jake though, in a different sense than usual. There was a bit in the epilogues where Jane comment on getting drunk faster than usual on the wine Jake alchemized, as if to suggest he makes his booze with an above average ABV. Which wouldn’t really raise an eyebrow (aside from making me worry about Jake being an alcoholic), if not for the bit in Meat where Jake wakes up naturally within hours from a tranquilizer dart that forced Jade into a coma? Though if you’re not being conspiratorial, the natural assumption would be that Dirk just used different rounds.

But it makes me look back to the time when Jake fell who knows how many feet from the air and landed on his (helmeted) head and suffered no major consequences? A concussion that worsens his short term memory, yes, but no broken anything? We’re dealing with comic characters, whose abilities we kind of accept sometimes as an extension of the narrative abstraction, and not as a statement any supernatural ability on their part. But between the epilogue stuff and Jake’s absurdly large sylladex (and thus brain), I get a nagging suspicion that he might literally be superhuman…? Or at the very least, that he has fantasies of being superhuman, which have some dubious level of reality within the Sburbian dreamscape.

Between the energy sphere battles and the head trauma and the OVER 9000!!! jokes its clear that some manner of DBZ joke is woven into Jake’s story, but since it could always just be a story he’s telling himself, it’s hard to tell if Jake is ESSENTIALLY A SUPER SAIYAN or whatever, even though we have Dirk attesting to Jake being absurdly strong.

At any rate (and this is not even a theory, just a thought) it would be fun and cool if Jake were literally crafted by Jade, like she somehow created a Goku. Jake talks so much about bringing his fantasies into reality, and the motif of breathing Life into unreal/dead material follows him everywhere. So it would be interesting if Jake were himself a fantasy brought to life… especially since he vaingloriously attempts to paint himself as an action hero straight out of the silver screen throughout early act 6.

#another case of me not being sure how literal a character's personal mythology is #homestuck #slouchers #jake