#slowly losing control

[writing-education-and-stuff]

what do you mean “did you come out of a pantry instead of a closet since you’re pan lol”

I

came out of a suitcase

I came out of a suitcase

you fucking cowards

[fallingforfoolsgold]

hey everybody! im leaving for california tomorrow HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA do you realize how close i am HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[justanotherprettyvoice]

I can't take this any more...

i apologize now to anyone who is actually taking the time to read this...i just really really REALLY needed to rant...

I don't know what to do. I don't know what you want me to say. do you have any idea how hard it is to go through every day, every minute, every second, wondering if youre going to kill yourself. YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME. i can't take it any more. there's just too much pain. too much being thrown at me. i dont know what you want me to tell you when you say youre still in love with him. i dont know how youre gonna get him back. i dont know what you want me to say. i cant talk to him. i cant talk to him for me. i cant tell you everything he said last time i tried. but i cant keep these things from you either. i HATE trying to figure out what to say that will keep you from hurting yourself. i cant change the fact that your parents are jerks or that they dont care. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. i dont know what you want me to do.

I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW!!!!

i dont want to tell you to stop asking me questions. i dont want to tell you that your messed up life is messing up mine. i dont want to tell you that every time you tell me you've hurt yourself it makes ME want to hurt MYSELF. but its not like you care. you only care about yourself. but i cant tell you that. cuz then you'll do stupid things. I CANT TAKE THIS any more. i really cant. i dont want to start again but youre pushing me over the edge and you dont even notice. you only notice your world falling apart. you dont realize that when your world comes crashing down it falls on top of mine and now my world is falling apart. when you have a question about him you cant just ask me to ask him. if he wants you to leave him alone then im sorry but LEAVE HIM ALONE. it hurt him to talk to you. it hurt you to have him ignore you. well guess what. since youre so impatient now hes NEVER gonna talk to you again. and if i tell you then i knnow youre gonna blame it on me. and even if you dont I'LL blame it on me. because all of this really is my fault. im a horrible friend. i dont have all the answers. i cant do everything you think i can. im not super woman. so when you hurt yourself dont blame him or your parents or your brother, blame me. cuz its really all my fault. i can never be there when you need me. im a horrible friend and im sorry...i'm losing control. im not as strong as you think...

this is all my fault..

if anyone is STILL reading this and has any advice on how to calm me down or fix my situation it would be greatly appreciated...