#sls update

[buttercreamfrostedmurdercake]

SLS UPDATE!!!

That’s right! I ended up getting a series of ketamine infusions to pull me out of the nosedive my mood went through (like, just SO bad and getting worse for months and months). It did ~AMAZING~ things for my depression. I’m still struggling with my anxiety but I’ve gotten some of my meds back that were helping me so much (and was basically what helped me focus enough to write SLS in the first place) and things are looking up for the first time in more than 6 months.

So not a particularly inspiring or happy update, but it does mean I’ve been able to write more SLS. I skipped ahead to the end in order to try and motivate myself (Claire and Lex’s fight is still challenging the extent of my dialog skills, and conflict-triggered anxiety, but I’ve been practicing every day on my personal WIPs) and I’ve now got a rough draft of the epilogue!

Whoo! Progress! My epilogue is some 5.5K, just in case anyone was concerned that I had found some brevity or learned to distill my thoughts in my absence. NOPE. It’s pretty much one big spoiler about how I plan to end things so I could post it if anyone is interested, but I’m not going to spoil things for people who are just hoping I haven’t abandoned it. My plan right now is to dig out my old outlines and character studies to immerse myself back in the world. My themes and major beats are still intact, but I‘ve lost sight of how I planned the major events of the third chapter.

So if you’re concerned about SLS, never fear, I might have an update soon. Like maybe this year. Perhaps even before the one-year anniversary of the first chapter. (‘-’*)

Oh man, I’m so sorry to the people who read 20K only to hit a major cliffhanger and will probably not want to delve back in an re-read 20K just to understand the (planned) 40K second chapter (which will end on another cliffhanger). I love you subscribers. I promise, I won’t give up. I’ve read hundred of hours of Smallville fic and I owe it to the giants that came before me to add to the fandom (no matter how dead it is *cries*).

Me: Adding a few thousand words here and there on personal WIPs not meant to be shared while studiously ignoring my languishing published project. Also me in the sudden absence of major, unmanageable depression:

[buttercreamfrostedmurdercake]

SLS Update

So, the update is there is no update. Things have been shite. Less shite than previous years but no nice lovely highs like what carried me through the entirety of drafting-writing-editing-posting Chapter 1 last year. I was tempted to call it some sort of manic phase, since I’d hardly been that productive in years. But no, ‘The Professionals’ have told me that possibly the most amazing(!!!) eight weeks of my life was merely a period without soul-rending depression.

But then that makes sense since it was a brief period on a lovely new therapy before my meds were suddenly changed and 13 months later, being me still fucking sucks. Even had experimental (and EXPENSIVE $$$$) Ketamine treatments done, which seems to have helped my anxiety somewhat. But nothing like those bright, focused weeks of writing which birthed SLS.

Which sucks. Because the fucking thing is written in my head (minus some 3rd act action minutia - and maybe a ‘sensitivity‘ check-in with someone Talia-positive since I’m Talia-tolerant at best). I have to do a major edit/rewrite of about 30K of what I had down for Ch 2 because I realized I’d gone 50k with exclusivity one-sided conversations (whoops!) because dialogue is my kryptonite and I’d unconsciously found a lazy workaround. But I still write most days, my skills have improved, I’m dying to finish it (both to actually finish something as well as get it out of my brain so I can give myself permission to write my next Smallville fic that I’ve been plotting for months... it’s non-linear and has time travel and an Always A Girl Clark Kent universe crosses over with the ‘real’ Smallville, but hell NO, I’m getting over my conversation block/phobia before I start a talk-heavy story).

So, SLS Ch 2 is still open on my laptop, not just hidden away in a WIP folder. I’m just waiting for the sun to come out again, even if I don’t know when. I WILL finish it, even if I give up and just post what I have plus the outline to give it resolution. But that’s quitter talk and I’m still subbed to stories with less of a word count than mine more than 3 years on and love them, so I’m not anywhere near that yet.