Are you a resident of Silver Lake? How long have you lived here?
Yes I am. I have been in this shit hole for the last two years.
Have you ever lived outside of Silver Lake, or California?
I have. I was born in Maine but raised in Maryland, went to college in Ohio.
Do you subscribe to any streaming services? [ bold one ]
a. Netflix b. Hulu c. Disney+ d. HBO Go e. All of the above f. None
How much do you spend per month on non essentials? ( Anything outside of bills, gas, and food)
a. $100-200 b. $200-500 c. $500-$1000 d. $1000 or more e. $10,000 or more
How satisfied are you with where your taxpayer money is going?
a. very satisfied b. somewhat satisfied c. unsure d. not satisfied at all
Who do you plan to vote for in the next Democratic primary?
a. Sanders b. Biden c. Warren d. Other: (specify)
Do you eat avocado on toast?
a. Yes b. No c. Get out of here with that hipster nonsense
Who is the greatest 80′s metal hair band?
a. Mötley Crüe b. Poison c. Def Leppard d. Wtf kind of question is this
Are you happy with the recreational legalization of cannabis in 2016?
a. Yes b. No c. I have no opinion
Would you ever abbreviate California to Cali?
I would not.
Are you a fan of Angeline Carter?
Is this a joke?
Have you listened to the latest Kafkaesque album, Wasteland? If no, why not?
I regret the day I hit the play button. For further information, check my Twitter; @mackyecc
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
I have none.
“Emilia Sinagra-Adler, no middle name. And I’m 23. 24 in June. I’m a cancer.” Not that anybody asked her to elaborate on any of that, but she apparently has no qualms about sharing her personal data with strangers.
Are you a resident of Silver Lake? How long have you lived here?
“Yeah, I’ve been living here for like...” she counts on her fingers as if she’s doing some hard math but alas, she’s not. “... 5 years now. That’s wild.”
Have you ever lived outside of Silver Lake, or California?
“I was born in New York but my parents moved when I was really little, so I can’t even say I miss it... but in my soul, I really do,” she rambles, quirking a brow at the survey lady who is clearly not taking a full transcript. “I was raised in Boston, I guess, and I’m in Sicily for like a month every summer if that counts.”
Do you subscribe to any streaming services? [ bold one ]
a. Netflix b. Hulu c. Disney+ d. HBO Go e. All of the above f. None
“Does it count if I’m not paying for them myself? Cause then it’s all of them... I’m not even 100% sure whose Netflix I’m using, honestly.”
How much do you spend per month on non essentials? ( Anything outside of bills, gas, and food)
a. $100-200 b. $200-500 c. $500-$1000 d. $1000 or more e. $10,000 or more
“I fucking wish I had 10 grand a month, did anyone actually answer that?” she tries to look at the woman’s clipboard as if that would give her an answer. "Do you have their number?”
How satisfied are you with where your taxpayer money is going?
a. very satisfied b. somewhat satisfied c. unsure d. not satisfied at all
Emilia just... stares blankly and the lady swiftly moves on to the next one.
Who do you plan to vote for in the next Democratic primary?
a. Sanders b. Biden c. Warren d. Other: (specify)
“Know what?” she hums thoughtfully, “I’m not sure I’m registered to vote out here yet... maybe I should look into that, huh?”
Do you eat avocado on toast?
a. Yes b. No c. Get out of here with that hipster nonsense
Emilia huffs a the question, “I literally don’t understand why people are offended by avocado toast, like... it’s basically bread with low-effort guac, it’s my entire religion. If anything, I should be offended by option c.”
Who is the greatest 80′s metal hair band?
a. Mötley Crüe b. Poison c. Def Leppard d. Wtf kind of question is this
“As far as I know, only one of those bands made Pour Some Sugar On Me, so that’s your answer right there. It’s barely even a question, is it?”
Are you happy with the recreational legalization of cannabis in 2016?
a. Yes b. No c. I have no opinion
“Obviously.”
Would you ever abbreviate California to Cali?
"Um, I do it all the time, is that weird?” she tilts her head sideways and looks quizzically at the woman, “I thought that was just like, the thing. It’s Cali, you know? Who has the time to say Los Angeles, California every time? It’s LA, and it’s Cali.”
Are you a fan of Angeline Carter?
"Ange! Totally,” she nods eagerly, even though it’s totally not a big deal that she knows Angeline Carter. Honestly, she doesn’t even personally know her that well, but her mom does so that’s basically the same thing. “She’s one of the biggest Oscar snubs this year.”
Have you listened to the latest Kafkaesque album, Wasteland? If no, why not?
"Oh my god, I listen to it like, all the time,” she says excitedly. “They’re literally one of my fave bands, and it’s the best one since their last one. They’re such cool guys too when you meet them in person.” Irrationally trying to make this clearly disinterested middle-aged survey lady jealous? Yes, yes she is. “Love them so much, can’t wait for their tour.”
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
"Okay look. I’m really sorry, you seem super nice and it’s been great talking to you but I just don’t think we’re compatible.”
Name and age?
[ Spoken in a thick fake Russian accent ]
Svetlana Trotsky. Thirtee-four.
Are you a resident of Silver Lake? How long have you lived here?
Yes. I hev lived here since I was tventee-two.
Have you ever lived outside of Silver Lake, or California?
Yes. I voz sex trafficked from Stalingrad ven I voz fifteen because my mother, she won a green card. But some nice police men helped me and I became free.
Do you subscribe to any streaming services?
a. Netflix b. Hulu c. Disney+ d. HBO Go e. All of the above f. None
How much do you spend per month on non essentials?
a. $100-200 b. $200-500 c. $500-$1000 d. $1000 or more e. $10,000 or more
How satisfied are you with where your taxpayer money is going?
a. very satisfied b. somewhat satisfied c. unsure d. not satisfied at all
Who do you plan to vote for in the next Democratic primary?
a. Sanders b. Biden c. Warren d. Other: (specify)
Do you eat avocado on toast?
a. Yes b. No c. Get out of here with that hipster nonsense
Who is the greatest 80′s metal hair band?
a. Mötley Crüe b. Poison c. Def Leppard d. Wtf kind of question is this
Are you happy with the recreational legalization of cannabis in 2016?
a. Yes b. No c. I have no opinion
Would you ever abbreviate California to Cali?
[ She forgets the accent here ]
Absolutely not. It’s fucking Ca-li-for-nia, not Cali. Cali is the hooker down the street you give $5 to for a back alley blowjob. It’s California. Say it right or don’t say it at all.
Are you a fan of Angeline Carter?
[ Russian accent is back ]
O yes, of course, I love Miss Angeline Carter! Back in Russia, we say she haz eyes like big yellow duck. Is compliment.
Have you listened to the latest Kafkaesque album, Wasteland? If no, why not?
Iz that venereal disease?
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
I go to Newport Beach viz my husband, Santiago. We go sail on his yacht. He give me expensive gift, like necklace. Then he do me sex, anal style.
Are you a resident of Silver Lake? How long have you lived here?
I am indeed. Five years.
Have you ever lived outside of Silver Lake, or California?
Before Silver Lake, I lived in Burbank. Still California though.
Do you subscribe to any streaming services? [ bold one ]
a. Netflix b. Hulu c. Disney+ d. HBO Go e. All of the above f. None
How much do you spend per month on non essentials? ( Anything outside of bills, gas, and food)
a. $100-200 b. $200-500 c. $500-$1000 d. $1000 or more e. $10,000 or more
How satisfied are you with where your taxpayer money is going?
a. very satisfied b. somewhat satisfied c. unsure d. not satisfied at all
Who do you plan to vote for in the next Democratic primary?
a. Sanders b. Biden c. Warren d. Other: (specify)
Do you eat avocado on toast?
a. Yes b. No c. Get out of here with that hipster nonsense
Who is the greatest 80′s metal hair band?
a. Mötley Crüe b. Poison c. Def Leppard d. Wtf kind of question is this
Are you happy with the recreational legalization of cannabis in 2016?
a. Yes b. No c. I have no opinion
Would you ever abbreviate California to Cali?
I’d rather not.
Are you a fan of Angeline Carter?
A little bit overrated in my opinion. Wait, this is going to stay anonymous, right?
Have you listened to the latest Kafkaesque album, Wasteland? If no, why not?
No, I have not. I don’t really keep up with latest music to be honest.
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
I am going to open a bottle of expensive wine and watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Are you a resident of Silver Lake? How long have you lived here?
.....this isn’t for ICE is it? I am though...long time. Long long time.
Have you ever lived outside of Silver Lake, or California?
For like a week.
Do you subscribe to any streaming services? [ bold one ]
a. Netflix b. Hulu c. Disney+ d. HBO Go e. All of the above f. None
How much do you spend per month on non essentials? ( Anything outside of bills, gas, and food)
a. $100-200 b. $200-500 c. $500-$1000 d. $1000 or more e. $10,000 or more
How satisfied are you with where your taxpayer money is going?
a. very satisfied b. somewhat satisfied c. unsure d. not satisfied at all
Who do you plan to vote for in the next Democratic primary?
a. Sanders b. Biden c. Warren d. Other: (specify)
Do you eat avocado on toast?
a. Yes b. No c. Get out of here with that hipster nonsense
Who is the greatest 80′s metal hair band?
a. Mötley Crüe b. Poison c. Def Leppard d. Wtf kind of question is this
Are you happy with the recreational legalization of cannabis in 2016?
a. Yes b. No c. I have no opinion
Would you ever abbreviate California to Cali?
Ew, no.
Are you a fan of Angeline Carter?
I am! That one movie with that one guy and her, you know the guy with the really fucking obvious hair plugs happening...that one. Back in the day I tried these meds and they really fucked with me, swear I put that one on repeat when they’d kick in. Dark times. But love her in that, yup.
Have you listened to the latest Kafkaesque album, Wasteland? If no, why not?
So right now I’m running on my old iPod...my laptop’s donezo and the Wifi at Sal’s is shotty. But my dad’s already got this really badass playlist with like, three thousand songs or something so, it’s that or the radio these days. So maybe I’ve heard a song from it. I don’t know.
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
Sal’s. Yeah, big biz night. Jose’ and Monroe— our line cook and delivery guy came up with this My Bloody Valentine deal. So bring on the singles! —wait this is anonymous?
Thank you for completing the survey! Your answers will be anonymized and put into our system to make Silver Lake a better place for you, our residents.
Are you a resident of Silver Lake? How long have you lived here?
It’s been about a year now, give or take a couple weeks.
Have you ever lived outside of Silver Lake, or California?
Yeup, born and raised in Wisconsin before I made it out here.
Do you subscribe to any streaming services?
a. Netflix b. Hulu c. Disney+ d. HBO Go e. All of the above f. None
How much do you spend per month on non essentials?
a. $100-200 b. $200-500 c. $500-$1000 d. $1000 or more e. $10,000 or more
How satisfied are you with where your taxpayer money is going?
a. very satisfied b. somewhat satisfied c. unsure d. not satisfied at all
Who do you plan to vote for in the next Democratic primary?
a. Sanders b. Biden c. Warren d. Other: No
Do you eat avocado on toast?
a. Yes b. No c. Get out of here with that hipster nonsense
Who is the greatest 80′s metal hair band?
a. Mötley Crüe b. Poison c. Def Leppard d. Wtf kind of question is this
Are you happy with the recreational legalization of cannabis in 2016?
a. Yes b. No c. I have no opinion
Would you ever abbreviate California to Cali?
Totally. Half the time I’ll just say L.A. when I’m talking about Cali in general.
Are you a fan of Angeline Carter?
She kinda reminds me of Amy Adams. Like, I know she’s been in a lot of critically acclaimed stuff, but do I remember anything about those movies... nope. But I did see some clip of her on one of those late night talk shows a couple weeks back and she seemed pretty chill.
Have you listened to the latest Kafkaesque album, Wasteland? If no, why not?
Uh, I think so? Maybe? I’ve probably heard some of it on the radio. Isn’t there one song that has a part that’s all like, duh-duhduh-duh? And then it like... fuck, sorry, I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ll just say yes, ‘cause I’m sure I’ve absorbed it through osmosis or some shit.
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
Bag up last minute chocolate purchases and try to really push succulents in heart-shaped planters -- AKA, work an eight hour shift.
Name and age?
Charlie Weber. ...No, uh, it’s actually just Charlie. Not Charles. ...No, yeah, legally, I promise. I’m thirty-seven.
Are you a resident of Silver Lake? How long have you lived here?
Yes. I moved here in 2015.
Have you ever lived outside of Silver Lake, or California?
I’m from the bay, and I went to school near there.
Do you subscribe to any streaming services? [ bold one ]
a. Netflix b. Hulu c. Disney+ d. HBO Go e. All of the above f. None
How much do you spend per month on non essentials? ( Anything outside of bills, gas, and food)
a. $100-200 b. $200-500 c. $500-$1000 d. $1000 or more e. $10,000 or more (*three alimonies will getcha)
How satisfied are you with where your taxpayer money is going?
a. very satisfied b. somewhat satisfied c. unsure d. not satisfied at all
Who do you plan to vote for in the next Democratic primary?
a. Sanders b. Biden c. Warren d. Other: (specify)
Do you eat avocado on toast?
a. Yes b. No c. Get out of here with that hipster nonsense
Who is the greatest 80′s metal hair band?
a. Mötley Crüe b. Poison c. Def Leppard d. Wtf kind of question is this
Are you happy with the recreational legalization of cannabis in 2016?
a. Yes b. No c. I have no opinion
Would you ever abbreviate California to Cali?
I did when I was younger. But Frisco sends a chill up my spine.
Are you a fan of Angeline Carter?
My sister’s obsessed. I saw her last film. Decent. I don’t consume a lot of media.
Have you listened to the latest Kafkaesque album, Wasteland? If no, why not?
No, for personal reasons.
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
I usually go to a charily event if I’m not out on the town.
“Uh, Jason.” It was the first name to come to mind, and thanks to the number of interviews he’d been doing lately for Wasteland, pretending to be somebody else was an irresistible opportunity. “I’m twenty-nine.”
Are you a resident of Silver Lake? How long have you lived here?
"Yeah, I’ve been here eight years.” This wasn’t a lie. “Best place I’ve lived so far.” That, however, was.
Have you ever lived outside of Silver Lake, or California?
“Yes outside of Silver Lake, not outside of California, though. I grew up in Sacramento.” He’d grown up in New Jersey, but his poker face had always been good. The only time he’d ever visited Sacramento was on tour.
Do you subscribe to any streaming services? [ bold one ]
a. Netflix b. Hulu c. Disney+ d. HBO Go e. All of the above f. None
How much do you spend per month on non essentials? ( Anything outside of bills, gas, and food)
a. $100-200 b. $200-500 c. $500-$1000 d. $1000 or more e. $10,000 or more
How satisfied are you with where your taxpayer money is going?
a. very satisfied b. somewhat satisfied c. unsure d. not satisfied at all
Who do you plan to vote for in the next Democratic primary?
a. Sanders b. Biden c. Warren d. Other: (specify)
Do you eat avocado on toast?
a. Yes b. No c. Get out of here with that hipster nonsense
Who is the greatest 80′s metal hair band?
a. Mötley Crüe b. Poison c. Def Leppard d. Wtf kind of question is this
Are you happy with the recreational legalization of cannabis in 2016?
a. Yes b. No c. I have no opinion
Would you ever abbreviate California to Cali?
“I...guess so?” he said, more of a question than an answer. “Sorry, but who the fuck cares?”
Are you a fan of Angeline Carter?
“Sure, yeah, she’s a great actress and she uses her platform really well.” He had to work not to smile, inevitably reminded of the fact that a song from Kafkaesque’s last album had featured in one of her films.
Have you listened to the latest Kafkaesque album, Wasteland? If no, why not?
An easy smile quirked his lips and he rolled his eyes, a gesture of plain condescension. “Nah, I haven’t listened to it. I’ve heard some of their popular stuff and I honestly don’t get the hype.”
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
"Not sure yet. Kind of a weird fucking holiday, isn’t it? I dunno. Drink a shit load of red wine, probably.”
