#sly posting

[dragonic-wolf-soul]

Made some fury bases :)

PLEASE DON'T REMOVE MY WATERMARK IF USING , Credit me if you decide to use the base

[feel free to show me what you do with said base~]

[dragonic-wolf-soul]

I've had the general "Feline experience" for years now, and as of yet, I could not find a concrete answer about why

-I stretch my paw as if I had claws to dig into skin or fabrics.

-I yawn like a cat does.

-When there's an insect in the room I am in, I immediately focus on it.

I- feel as if my eyes turn into slits (which sadly they don't)

-I have other feline behaviour too but I can't remember them currently.. I shall update this post once I have enough to even update

I've had the thought of being a maine coon, but it did not stick completely.. My mother said I give her the impression of being a maine coon, and something in me felt really happy about it.

I've thought about being a serval too, and once again it made me feel like me, but then again- I am not sure at all

:(

[dragonic-wolf-soul]

The urge to completely redo my entire blog--

[40645p37]

...They didn't abandon us? I don't think we understood what really happened. Granny and them wanted to shield us from the truth. Had we understood that they weren't leaving because they wanted to...

We have a lot of mixed feeling with our adoptive parents. We even felt abandoned by Granny for a while, though we forgave her and knew why she did what she did. If anything, she was trying to keep us alive. That's all my parents were trying to do too. Stay alive and free. I never knew Dad was a test subject too. What if he was the creation before us? I didn't know that Mom was adopted either, I always thought she was Granny's biological kid. I don't think they tried to hide that as much as maybe it didn't ever come up and I assumed. I really wish that we knew.

We were angry with them. Didn't want to think about them to the point that we kind of did forget about them. Most of the time it was just us and Granny anyways. How long have we held onto this pain? We didn't know it was even there.

[40645p37]

Sly: Jan 30th, 2026

Title: Mink

I think Mink cared about us BOTH the same amount i cared about him...which isn't saying much. He was fun until he wasn't. My own needs don't justify putting Aoba through that. Besides, while I had a fondness i was able to walk away. Aoba couldn't, he loved Mink. Where he was at mentally was poison to us. (Think Aoba, why was i so attracted to him? I love self-destruction! You weren't supposed to catch feelings...) i feel like the whole thing was my fault somehow. Even though Mink was the one to enter our life, we didn't pursue him. I gave him a chance after everything for a while, let us learn who the real Mink is. He was just as secretive and angry, that didn't change. He had moments he almost passed as a decent boyfriend. Keyword almost, and it didn't happen often at that. Aoba deserved better. I'm done talking about this. If i think about it too much my blood boils. If he could see what he's done to Aoba.

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tagged: talkin here, previous sys, memories, system peeps, Aoba

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Original post in full remains on Sly's blog.

[40645p37]

Sly: Jan 30th, 2026

Title: Aoba is remembering too much

As i was afraid of, Aoba is remembering too much. He told us last night he wanted to hurt himself. When asked why, he shutdown for an hour. Very out of character for him. He gets quiet when he gets shy, not usually out of being upset. We held him the whole time but the second he got away he started harming himself. He didn't do harm to vessel, but end up hurting himself in headspace. It was...a lot to see.

I've never seen him this hysterical. I've seen him regress and throw tantrums. He cries easily, so i've seen him cry a lot too. It wasn't like this. He was transported back to some memories. He said he didn't want to remember anymore, he'd rather remember things how he wants to remember it...not how it actually happened. But i think he's coming to terms with the abuse we went through. Most people don't chase their boyfriend to America, stay with him for months, and come back for their friends to see them black and blue and significantly thinner. Ren didn't allow Aoba to visit him on his own after that, he had to visit us. He still did damage whenever he got us alone. But he was forced to play nice around others, i think cause they actually held him accountable. That's not to say as soon as we were alone he'd start beating us up. But he didn't hold back any reactions...that he could around others. (This realization really hurt Aoba. He was under the impression he couldn't control the rage. Yet, if others were present somehow he could...liar.)

The worst was when he drank though. He was a mean drunk. We never knew what would make him upset. Aoba recalled two specific times. One time they were tidying up after dinner. He couldn't remember what the conversation was about, but he had said something that must have been a trigger. He got punched hard enough to get knocked out. He woke up in a bed with a black eye. Another time he attempted to force me out because he wanted to settle things with me. (Yes, after our source took place. He still tried to force switches every once and a while.) He had already punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed, and choked Aoba when he wrenched Aoba's arm behind his back and threatened to dislocate it and break it. I wasn't going to let that happen, i had to step in. It was a double-edged sword. All i wanted to do was protect Aoba. If i fronted i spared him some initial pain. But sometimes he would beat us worse when i fronted because "this one can take it and likes it anyways." Yeah...doesn't exactly work that way when you share a vessel. Aoba was the main fronter and host. I could have got rid of that boyfriend, but Aoba wanted to hold on to him. It's finally sinking in, that man didn't care about us. We always knew he didn't care about me. He should have cared more about Aoba though.

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tagged: talkin here, system peeps, previous sys, Aoba

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Original post remains on Sly's blog.

[40645p37]

Sly: Jan 26th, 2026

Title: Trip and Virus

our time with Trip and Virus has been coming back with vivid flashbacks. how i work through things now is by writing ... would rather be high

depictions of abuse, rape, torture, etc

i know i mentioned that Virus preferred psychological damage. there was a time he was carving up our torso. he was always careful, cut at this angle, everything sterile, proper wound care, he wouldn't risk scarring us without Trip's permission. this time he drugged us where we could barely keep our head up. as he started cutting, he was being really descriptive. talked about the flesh parting and blood pouring out. it must have been suggestions he was giving us and being drugged but i swore he started pulling out our organs and they were all rotten. he insisted he could put everything back but didn't know how we were alive with how infected everything was. he mocked and laughed at us. it felt like he took everything out of us. empty. whenever it was that we woke up, we weren't any worse sliced up than usual. didn't need any stitches even, i swear it happened though. i swear we died.

Virus often played games like that. he told us Mizuki or Koujaku were dead when they weren't. or that Granny's heart gave out from worry about us. so, no one was looking for us or cared what happened. i know our source showed a glimpse of being locked in a box as a "punishment," but he always did shit like that. liked to keep us in the dark then shove us in a bright room. restrict our movements, starve us, have complete control 24/7. he was like a child that had a bug they wanted to inflict pain on because he could.

there were times he gave us plenty of drugs, anything i could have imagined. he did that for the withdrawals we would go through. heart racing, throwing up, sweating, shaking, feeling an inch away from death and being reminded by the very person that is brushing our hair back that we are worthless and no one could love us. we should be grateful for them. sometimes he tried new drugs on us, all the experimental stuff. the lights and music. i hated that i couldn't block those ones out for Aoba. that he had to experience it too. (but at least i can erase those memories for him)

it was terrifying when either of them would rape us but for different reasons. Trip was a brute, the type that someone could be dead for 20 minutes and he's still beating the shit out of them. he gets carried away and did with us. but what saved us was that he was obsessed with us. we were his prized possession. he "loved" us. that's the only thing that kept us alive. i think it's because of that why Virus was extra cruel with us. we could tell how much Virus hated us by how he raped us. it was all about domination and showing us who was in control. he wanted to ruin us, humiliate us. he didn't see what it was that Trip saw, even if he had his own obsession with us. Trip wanted to own us, like an object. Virus wanted to destroy us because maybe without us in the way Trip would notice him. there were a few times that Trip had to step in because Virus did almost murder us. it was usually after one of them took it too far or they had a major fight were things even close to normal. Trip would seem almost like a normal person and would take care of us. Virus would go away for a few days to a week. when he returned it would only be a matter of days before things would go back to how they were.

our source touches on some of this on a specific route. but everything i talked about timeline wise, takes place before the memory loss and beginning chapter. good end, bad end, it doesn't matter they already did about everything to us. but he will never remember it, he doesn't need to.

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tagged: talkin here, memories, Aoba don't look, previous sys

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Original post remains on Sly's blog.

[40645p37]

Sly: Jan 26th. 2026

Title: Aoba is remembering things

I hate that he's remembering things. Even if he sees some of it as separate from himself. If i went through it, the vessel did too. Domestic & gang violence mentions, drug use, etc

We both recall being on a ventilator multiple times. He remembers the first time being when we were 21. He recently remembered a time Mink broke our ribs and punctured a lung. Probably was the closest he came to killing us that time. Hit our head pretty hard too when we went down. Could feel the blood pouring from a gash in our head. Our lungs felt like they were on fire and were being squeezed to death. He was scared and confused, dissociated away the whole thing. I figured that was how we were going to die. I remember not caring too much, but wishing I could have seen Mizuki one last time. I didn't have much to live for but i didn't want to be dead either. I felt bad for Aoba, seemed he was finally getting his life together. But we survived that...that memory triggered another of mine...

The first time we were probably 16. I could handle myself in a fair fight. Even i have my advantages such as my powers. But if someone surprises me, well i'm thrown off my game. It was a fucking drive by. Practically unheard of around that time. I was concerned with the guy in front of me's throat gushing that i didn't register i was hit at first. I felt the pain but didn't put it together. His friend was screaming to call for help and was putting pressure on the wound. I start running around the block yelling for help. I tried to suck in a breath and started choking. I spat blood out and realized I must have been shot too. I start to panic, the pain has set in, i'm feeling woozy. I make it halfway to Mizuki's before i pass out. He finds me on his way to the shop. Granny was pissed with me. They said we likely were dead for a minute or 2. We were only in the hospital a week for that. (They didn't want to hold me any longer than they had to...which was fair.) How did we explain the scar to Aoba? Appendicitis, we told him that's what happened. Any hospital visits? He had some complications. I landed us in the hospital more times than i'm proud of...but a lot of times i didn't even go. Just had Mizuki patch me up and give me something for the pain. I suppose that wasn't fair to him, "patch me up and babysit me so i don't die." Also our accident was just that "an accident," not everything those deranged two put us through.

We hid so much from him...i hid so much. He doesn't need to see my violence, my self-harm, my drug use, my hook ups. Most importantly, he doesn't need my trauma. He has enough of his own, i don't need to burden him with that. I like to put a nice, thick wall around those memories where they can't contaminate anyone else. I've been dealing with really intense drug cravings and i'd hate myself if that spread when i know there are others in the sys that struggle. I think as these memories keep surfacing, just as i couldn't deal with it then, i think old habits and coping methods want to come back. But we don't drink now and we need to take a break from eddies. It's really making other drugs look good... i want to be good for my system, i don't want to sabotage them...but i need something for me i feel like i'm losing my mind. I'm a lot more broken than i tell myself i am. I think recalling some of these things, like writing them down helps me to process it even though it's rough. If i don't go through it all i get stuck in the memory. Aoba knows better to not look at these kinds of posts.

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tagged: talking here, system peeps, Aoba, memories, previous sys

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Original post remains on Sly's blog.