Chapter 4 : Mutual Detestation Agreement
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By the end of the second month at Hogwarts, people had started expecting things from me. And they were not entirely good things. They mostly included explosions, arguments, and public irritation. Apparently, sharing one disastrous Potions lesson with Malfoy was enough to make my fellow first years behave as though I had become part of some ongoing entertainment. I had began to notice it at breakfast first. The way conversations dipped ever so slightly whenever I had entered the Great Hall. The way students looked between my house's table and the Slytherins whenever Malfoy walked in afterward.
It was ridiculous, and somehow already exhausting.
I wrapped my hand around my mug that held my Yorkshire tea, trying to ignore the dull ache that sat behind my eyes from the previous night, where I made the stupid decision to stay awake to finish my paperwork for transfiguration that wasn't due till next week, but who was I to wait until last minute? Across the room, there was a loud commotion that caused me to look up, only to see Malfoy and his goons enter the Great Hall the way he entered everything else- like space naturally belonged to him before anyone else arrived to occupy it. Several Slytherins immediately began to shift around at the table to make space, with him not even bothering to thank them. He just sat. Then, as if sensing my eyes on him, he lifted his own briefly across the Hall, directly towards me. I looked down immediately at the glass cup in hand that held my tea, Irritated for reasons I didn't care to elaborate on.
Potions was worse. Not because of the class itself, but because of the anticipation of it. Students watched me closer now. Not openly, or at least not openly enough to be considered rude, but enough that I noticed whispers the second I walked into the dungeon. I ignored them and headed towards the workstation Draco and I had nearly exploded a few lessons back. Unfortunately for me though, he was already there. Because of course he was. He sat with one arm resting lazily against the desk, sleeves rolled neatly to his forearms. His textbook laid open in front of him, however he didn't appear to actually be reading it. The dungeon light caught strangely against his pale hair, turning it silver at the edges. It annoyed me instantly.
His eyes flicked up the moment I approached. "Late," he said. I slowed in my tracks, looking at my grandmothers worn leather watch that sat on my right wrist."Class starts in seven minutes." I retorted. "You still look late" I rolled my eyes, placing my books down at the seat next to him. "And you look unpleasant" I responded evenly, taking my seat "yet here we both are". For one brief horrifying second, I let my eyes glance towards him, watching the corner of his mouth twitch. Not quite a smile, something more dangerous than that.
I decided immediately that I disliked seeing it.
Potions had began shortly after that, with the familiar scrape of chairs and Snape's cold voice drifting through the dungeon like some. "Today" he drawled "you will be attempting a sleeping draught. Though, judging by this class, permanent unconsciousness may already be preferable." No one laughed loudly enough to risk Snape's attention, however I could see the shake of the shoulders that belonged to the brown haired Slytherin boy that sat across from me as he chuckled quietly. I automatically reached for the dried lavender at the same moment Draco had reached for the knife, causing our hands to brush briefly. I quickly pulled mine back, not daring to look at him. However in my peripheral, I could see him glance at me once, but say nothing, which was somehow even stranger.
Moving through the ingredients, I heard Draco mutter something about me crushing the Sopophorous bean incorrectly. Again. As I continued to mix I replied back with a quick "You've said that every lesson"
"Because every lesson you ignore me." "No, I hear you" I said calmly "I just simply disagree with you" I spoke, meeting his eyes where they slightly narrowed over the rim of the cauldron. "You're infuriating" He argued. "and you're repetitive" I shot back.
Across the table, the boys made a choking sound trying hard not to laugh, but Draco's attention snapped sharply towards them, enough to silence them instantly. I pretended not to notice the way people quieted around him when he looked annoyed, but I noticed anyhow. That was the problem with Draco, everything about him demanded to be noticed.
About halfway through class, Snape had swept past our workstation. I instinctively straightened my back slightly as he examined the potion, a quiet hum coming from his throat. Then there was a long pause, which made me rub my sweaty hands on my robes. "Remarkably" Snape started off, coldly "this is acceptable." I blinked once, snapping my gaze to Draco, who seemed personally offended by the wording. I watched as snakes gaze shifted between us, before he continued "Though, I imagine silence would improve it further." My cheeks reddened as the class snickered quietly, but I saw how Draco's Jaw tightened. I turned my attention back to the potion, watching the purple liquid swirl in the cauldron.
"You know" Draco said under his breath after Snape had moved on, "most people find me difficult because they're intimidated." I adjusted the flame beneath the cauldron. "Have you considered there may be another reason?" I questioned gently. "That sounded more cleverer in your head." "probably," I replied. "it usually does."
This time, the laugh in front of us escaped fully before being strangled back into silence. Draco turned slowly towards me, and for the first time since meeting him, I noticed something unsettling. He wasn't just irritated anymore. He was paying attention. Real attention. He was focused enough that I could physically feel it. My stomach tightened unexpectedly, but not in fear. Something a tad bit more uncomfortable than fear. This was Awareness.
By the end of class, He and I had developed a system neither of us cared to acknowledge out loud. Draco handled ingredient preparation with irritating precision, since I allegedly always did it wrong, and I managed the timing, measurements, and temperature adjustments. And somehow, it worked. Deep down, I hated it. Students had began packing up their things as cauldrons cooled around the room. I slung my bag over my shoulder, Smiling over at Elowen while she waited for me at the door. I took one step toward her, before Draco had abruptly said 'We need rules.'
I turned on my heel, looking at him. "Rules?" "Yes," he responded shortly "If Snape insists on this arrangement." The expression on his face remained calm, but there was tension underneath it now. Controlled. Intentional. "No unnecessary conversation," He continued. "Don't touch my ingredients. And stop correcting me in front of other people." I stared at him for a moment.
"You exploded the potion"
"That was partially your fault"
"You grabbed the ingredients out of my hand"
"You were taking to long"
"You know, for someone demanding rules you seem remarkably bad at following them" I said. He looked at me flatly. "And for someone so quiet" He replied "You have an incredible tendency to become my problem."
The words landed oddly, too honest, too direct. Something shifted between me and him for a half second. Something I didn't understand quickly enough to look away from. So I did what I always did when things became too intense. I steadied myself. "fine" I said calmly. "One rule, then." Draco raised a dark eyebrow at me. "we survive potions" I said, turning again to face the door. "and otherwise we stay out of each other's way."
I felt as he studied me, then heard him agree. It wasn't friendship, and it was by no means peace. But as I left the dungeon class room, locking arms with Elowen and skipping down the hall to our next class, I found myself uncomfortably aware of one fact I couldn't undo now.
Draco Malfoy was becoming part of my routine.
And that felt far more dangerous than disliking him ever had
