We've all heard of shrimpskier, but let's get ready for mouskier. A mage captures Jaskier and turns him into a little mouse. Geralt goes to rescue him but the only person he finds is the mage..... and of course, one very small mouse.
I know this is supposed to be a shitpost but I love it when Geralt has to protect the bard so like...
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Geralt only allows himself to begin his search for Jaskier once the mage has been properly dealt with, but the only other living thing in the hut is a mouse in a tiny cage. The witcher leans down and huffs impatiently. He’ll let it go in the woods; it won’t last long but at least it will be free.
“Alright, little one, let’s get out of here.”
When he opens the cage door, the tiny creature runs directly onto the palm of his leather glove instead of onto the ground. It squeaks almost indignantly and settles itself down in a little ball. Geralt feels his medallion vibrate and his eyes widen.
Realizing just how similar this mouse’s coloring is to Jaskier’s soft brown hair, the witcher lifts his hand up to his face and squints. The mouse’s eyes are a bright, familiar blue and Geralt groans. “How!?”
The mouse squeaks happily and licks at his nose.
It’s not adorable. It’s really not.
“Squeak once for a timed spell and twice for Yennefer.”
One squeak.
“Alright, fine. Let’s get back to the inn and wait it out. You’re staying out of my hair, though. I know you’ll try to nest in it you terribly possessive little thing.”
Jaskier the mouse makes a half-amused, half-sad sound before settling back down to nap in the witcher’s cupped hand. Geralt shakes his head. Fucking mages.