Can someone explain to Sparrow that this *gestures wildly* is not how you mÀh

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Can someone explain to Sparrow that this *gestures wildly* is not how you mÀh
Here come our sugar snap peas and Iâm so excited. I have to keep a careful eye on them though, as theyâre definitely a family favourite when it comes to garden snacks. So sweet and crunchy, they sometimes donât even make it out of the Polycrub ⊠Iâm not complaining though. đ đ±
www.heelanhomestead.co.uk
My children.
The way I see each Empire and itâs people (some with more detail than others, depending on who I watch)
Rivendell: Probably the most nationalist empire; they live thousands of years and have millennia of history. They are the âtrueâ elvenkind and their ruler is the sole Elvenking. With all that said, they are a charitable people, so long as you respect their beliefs. For centuries they have remained fairly separate from the rising and falling of other empires, only helping individuals or families, never on a federal level. They are somewhat conservative and quite religious, they believe that whatever one does us for the good of society. This means that gay sex is frowned upon due to the fact that it will not result in procreation. This does not apply to trans/any non-cis elf because you donât have to procreate, itâs that if you do engage in such activities, you should be doing so for the benefit of all, not frivolities. This also means romantic relationships are fine, a married group doesnât have to bear children, though they do have to be a âbeneficial pairingâ (the union has to be able to be useful as a union). Poly relations are sometimes encouraged, as more work can be done in larger groups. Elves are weird, but Elvenking Smajor is working on it (and attempting to prove that a marriage alliance with the Codfather is worthwhile).
Pixandria: The desert lands will not last after Pixlriffs dies, his legacy will be a hub of trades and the vigil. The people under the burning sun are very independent; the more people you have to care for, the less water to go around. They respect death as inevitable, and honor the eldest for being wily enough to outwit it for as long as they have. Most desert folk are either elven or dwarvish, but it matters to no one what you are. If you can survive the desert, or make yourself useful, species donât matter. Very few care for the law, and gender/sexuality standards are nonexistent. It doesnât exactly matter if youâre an aromantic, bisexual, trans woman when you canât use a weapon and get mauled by a lion. If you do it to survive then whatever happens is fair game (this does include cannibalism), unless you betray your own. A traitor or a dealbreaker is the worst thing you can be. If you go back on your word then you canât be trusted and if you canât be trusted, youâre of no use to anyone at all.
The Grimlands: No Grimmish citizen is born one, you either come from another land or last long enough after birth to apply. This isnât an âonly the worthyâ situation. Itâs to prevent you from wasting your time removing your citizenship when you realize thereâs a 94% chance of getting blown up because the Counts/Countesses tend to be *moderately* insane. This applies to the ruling family, so when Gem decided she would rather blow herself up from a backfired fireworks spell, she applied for the Crystal Cliffs Academy of the Glowing Arts. The Grimlands has an extensive education program, and has the highest percentage of scientists/librarians/educators, theyâre all at least a little of their rocker but itâs a very effective system. If you arenât one of those, odds are youâre an alchemist, mechanic, metalforger, butcher, or some mix of the four. The Grimmish are predominantly male due to the fact theyâre more often more muscular, but it doesnât really matter to anyone. No one cares about your sexuality and though it is tradition to refer to the current Count as âDaddy Fwhip,â you are generally obligated to not be too effusive in public, no matter who youâre partner is, due to the fact it takes away from work time. It is also encouraged to drop everything (unless youâre a doctor, ill, injured, or in labor) and watch for the tinkererâs most recent project implode.
The Crystal Cliffs: Most of the residents are graduates of the Crystal Cliffs Academy of the Glowing Arts, or sent over to be reformed by other empires (they used to be sent to the Overgrown, but Lady Katherine has proven less than talented at curbing murderous intent, she tends to exacerbate it). No one is a citizen of the Cliffs, most are just extended boarders. Even the Grand Wizard isnât one, they may leave to return home at whim (though it is encouraged to pass on the hat if you do so for extended periods of time. Particularly if you are among the elderly, itâs rather difficult to retrieve once itâs become a family heirloom). Everyone knows everyone there, though you wouldnât know it from how subdued they all seem. When it comes to sexuality and gender, the Cliffs are the most accepting (along with the Undergrove) being one of four to be actively supportive of you (rather than some variation of disinterested, uncaring, or some level disapproving in the case of Rivendell and the Overgrown). They are also one of two where it is frowned upon to not ask for pronouns, and one of five to normalize asking. If you were studious enough, or kind enough, to be accepted into the lands as a resident/boarder, youâll do just fine.
The Overgrown: Much like Rivendell, those of the Overgrown tend to be rather prideful. To be a citizen you must have been blessed by the Watchers, gifted with a magical green thumb and a long life. Ruled by a central court of fae, the Overgrown has a strict hierarchy and the Watchers dictate who goes where. How else would someone who beheads anything and everything for a plushy business become the ruler of a pacifist people? Itâs only because she has enough charisma to ally with every empire, and they are interested in these ones. It is their sacred duty to tend to and best utilize the crop of the Overgrown, and where you are in the ranks dictates your authority and access. The lowest arenât permitted in the gardens, greenhouses, or field (these are the butchers, manufacturers, doctors, etc.)
The Ocean Empire: There has been one queen for longer than anyone can remember, herself included. No one knows exactly how old the empire is, though they do know it was before the seas retreated from the mountain shores. Until recently, the people have remained deep below the waves, unable to see the passage of time. Now they have risen, bringing a great palace to greet all of the new nations, most brimming with an unfamiliar but astoundingly strong power. They were the first, and will be the last. Their queen may hardly remember her power, but as long as she lives (as long as the oceans endure, rippling with primordial power) they will flourish. These people are reclusive, they obey the queen but otherwise stay in small family groups, the only consistent thing between them is the faith in the primordial gods and (for the most part) a distaste for salmon.
Mezalea: Unlike those of the desert, the people of the Mesa believe that life is only meaningful when one leaves a mark. Their land will endure enternally in the image of the king, and the structures will never fall to the sands. Their utmost faith in the ability to carve a personal path without outside influence prevents the corruption taking hold since demons rely on being able to influence others to gain power and survive.
The Undergrove: The other most accepting land, the land of mushrooms and wood is the bridge between nature spirits and civilization. The majority of the citizens are refugees or those who just needed somewhere safe. Everyone respects everyone and no one asks, sometimes people will share with others, but itâs not exactly common. Shrub will banish you at a moments notice if you donât accept or respect others.
The Lost Empire: After a series of plotting Royals overthrowing each other, the nation is in shambles and is eager to rejoin the round table of empires when a new king, the son of the last legitimate one, takes the crown and sets out to rebuild their lands. These people are skittish and reserved, they are unquestionably loyal to their king, and welcomed Xornoth with his promises of power and stability with open arms.
Mythland: They are literally the stereotypical image of a medieval European kingdom with a popular and charismatic king. They are by far the most self-reliant empire, since they donât focus too much on any singular aspect. The citizenry is primarily human and they put a particular emphasis on learning a craft.
The Cod Empire: The smallest empire, and the only one with citizens equally likely to call their king an idiot as they are to sing his praises. Adaptable and generally easygoing, a friend of the king is a friend of theirâs. While there is an official council of advisors, most are able to propose a change as the Codfather does his daily errands and it will be considered.
Smallholding/The Beanstalk Kingdom: The other self-reliant empire, they have the largest (and probabky strongest) military, and no end to their food supply. Rulers are chosen by the people, generally are the strongest or the most helpful.
I got tired at the end, yâall can request elaboration on any and all of these :D
A few years back I spent a January working on this smallholding in Wales and I'm still friends with the owner on Facebook so I occasionally see posts from her dickhead husband (one of the reasons I left) and they're always shit like
Their farm is a horse stud with 10 horses and a couple of other hobby animals. They produce maybe 6 pigs a year and some lamb. No vegetables. While I was there eggs from their chickens went uneaten because they had like 25 chickens but didn't want to eat eggs every day and didn't have a proper hook up for giving/selling them as everyone else in the smallholder neighbourhood also had chickens
Gilded Helianthia is the only place that has rice so every empire begs her to give them a speck of rice. She takes this to her advantage and makes a rice contest where the empire rulers have to eat the most rice, whoever eats the most rice gets a whole year's supply. Joel won 4/5 times. He really likes rice.
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look i really REALLY love the brewery pearl made. so heres a head brewer concept. I'll probably be churnin out a few of these bc im just,, aaaa<3 in love