#smallishzedbeef

[transfemzedaph]

smallishzedbeef is just two short kings and their beast of a boyfriend

[hmshermitcraft]

Someone recently put a ship out there that I never thought of before and I just need to ramble about it

The ship is Joel/Beef/Zed and here's the link to the post (hope links work with asks? If not holler and I'll send just the url)

Post says about how they initially meet and I fully support that but I also think none of them would get a chance to hang out immediately, like. Zed is doing a Zedvancement, Beef is still knee deep in TCG preparations at that point and Joel is busy with the Christmas village. Not much time for flirting or hanging out, they're constantly whisked away by something else.

But then. Zed wants to pull a prank on Etho. And Joel and Beef are the perfect people to help him. (And Zed wants to try and shoot his shot - I mean, he and Beef are sorta already a bit of a thing, but Joel? Nope.) Beef can provide the perfect excuse for someone to come to a secluded place (help with TCG!) while he and Joel set everything up.

And it works. It works beautifully. Etho is absolutely clueless as he comes over (Beef told him the deck randomizer somehow broke and he needs his help), and the three of them get him good. Etho has the look of a wet and pathetic cat once he catches on that he was pranked, but he laughs in the end.

While Joel and Zed clean up the area and Beef helps Etho clean up (necessary after the prank), Joel actually looks at the card making area and asks Beef about it. Beef, very proud of the amazing work he has done, explains everything to Joel and shows him the cards he's created. Joel sees the opportunity to compliment and flirt with Beef and grabs it with both hands, going all in and being very forward. (Hey, he doesn't exactly know when he'll see Beef and Zed again! He has to take the chance!)

Zed catches on very quickly and joins in. Beef tries to take it in stride and not show how absolutely flustered and happy it makes him. He tries to re-direct and compliments the whole machinery and plan they set up to prank Etho, shooting back just as many compliments and flirtations, until all three are just complimenting and really heavily flirting with each other.

Keep in mind all of this is happening while Etho is still here. And he does find it really sweet, but my god, the tension between those three is so thick you could cut it with a blunt knife and he's genuinely surprised one of them hasn't snapped yet and kissed someone.

This continues for a full 20 minutes until Etho, who himself isn't very quick in that regard, becomes exasperated and says "Gods, can you three just kiss already, you're worse than High School Teens."

It snaps them out of their complimenting and Joel blinks at Etho before his brain jumpstarts again.

"Right, that's what I felt like I was forgetting." He says almost nonchalantly before pulling Zed and then Beef in for a kiss - to the complaint of neither, rather a 'oh thank goodness I wanted to do that since I met you'.

And that's how Joel, Beef and Zed got together and became pranking menaces. Because if you think this is the first time the three of them pulled a prank, you're sorely mistaken.

It always ended with some kisses shared between the three of them though.

(I like to call them smallishzedbeef and wow would they be a trio)

They'll always be relieved about how lucky they were to get this opportunity. Zed is terrible at talking to people, especially strangers, and a prank was the perfect excuse. Working with Beef was even better! He nearly talked himself out of it so many times (something Joel teases him for now.)

Though they aren't always on the same server, they try to find ways to hang out frequently. Joel's even made them a cute little home away from home so they can 'live their cottagecore dreams'. It's so stupid, but it's perfect.

You'd think they would have run out of ways to compliment each other, but there's still plenty in the tank. Etho refuses to hang out with all three without somebody else there. They're insufferable. It's like fourth wheeling a tricycle.

[transfemzedaph]

Joel was a bit unsure what to expect of going back through the rift to hermitcraft. Sure most of the hermits had come over and they were all pretty friendly, but itd be different this way. Theyre all heading into the hermits world and homes. Joel also knows theres some hermits who didn't cross over to visit empires. Etho, of course, was one of them, and was someone Joel was looking forward to seeing. It had been a while since double life but they got on like a house on fire (ha.) yeah there'd been some making out and cuddling but in the end it wasn't anything more than that but they were still good friends. There was also a couple others though. Joel struggles to remember their names, theres one of Ethos old friends from mindcrack - hes vaugely heard about him from Etho himself. Theres also one of Tangos best friends? Maybe? Joels not sure. Jimmy and Tango talk A Lot and most of it is just gossip but Joel swears Jimmy has told him about the other member of Team ZITS? Joel thinks that what he said, obviously Joel already knew Tango, Impulse, and Skizz, but it was that Z guy that Joel didn't know. Joel thinks he remembers Jimmy telling him that he does weird redstone contraptions? But honestly hes not sure if that was Jimmy talking about him or about Tango.

So yeah. Joels nervous. But hey, here goes nothing, right?

So he steps through the rift.

[transfemzedaph]

icon by liminalcritter

transfemzedaph -> aroacebeef -> transfemzedaph

dont use pronouns for me <3 or use rot/rots. whatever.

call me tfz or if you must use like an 'actual' name u can call me red i guess???

uuh theres shipping & alsos oemtiems rpf shipping. for funsies.

Fic masterpost

i mean most of the tags i use r pretty self explanatory but -

original post tag - my posts

video tag - videos (sometimes it doesnt show everything ive tagged with it though so eh)

ask tag - asks

writing tag - my writing yippee

scribblies - art tag

ravager beef tag - all my ideas and writing abt beef being a ravager hybrid <3

k&j - kris and jack posting

[transfemzedaph]

oh. i just thought abt joel being like a fan of uhcs & like knowing famous winners and shit & being like yeah itd be so cool to meet the people who created it etcetc. and like secret life happens & theres new people and joels like ooh its uhc adjacent maybe theyll have a uhc person and they dont and joel is sad </3

and uuuh. brain broke but joel having a fanboy crush on beef but when he meets beef he doesnt recognise its beef bc beef now is a) older, b) more confident, and c) ravager hybrid & not hiding it (anymore)

and they get along & flirt sometimes and yknow, gay things, and also joel sometimes flirts with beefs gf zed bc. yknow. gay things.

and then one day zed and joel r just chatting and the topic of uhcs comes up and theyre talking abt the like lasting effects it can have on players health & zed is like yeah it really messed beef up bc beef did them so often and before there was any safety around them, and joels like oh? really? zeds like yeah beef was actually one of the original creators and joel goes. bright fucking red bc. oh no. he is not sort of maybe almost in a relationship with (one of) the CREATORS of uhc. who he had a crush on in his teen years. like yeah joel knew the names but just Did Not make the fucking connection.

he doesnt talk to either of them for a few days bc. gay crisis.

[transfemzedaph]

Dare I ask about smallishzedbeef?

its my beautiful ship that i did for shits and gigs and then got invested into & i do have a whole tag for it. im maybe also going to make a whole like proper fic for it and honestly w joel being on hc s 10 i can do so much more bc. i kinda havent actually wrote much and defo havent wrote them getting together but im also gonna diverge from canon for some things bc whilst it mostly fits. im changing it to make it better bc like the first post in the tag like the oldest one is like talks abt zeds pig uh fuck words yknow the zedvancement w all the pigs and whilst joel was not a part of that like my ideas work so much better if joel is part of it bc. then its zed & joel meeting but its in an environment with lots of other people and so they can both be like 👀👀 at each other but dont manage to really talk

the one writing thing i did abt joel just before he goes through the portal to hc during the crossover is so fun n cool imo

[transfemzedaph]

i do want to ask about smallishzedbeef but i don’t know what. ahm. erm. do they. cuddle?

yes ofc they cuddle. when theyre first together joel is slightly reluctant to cuddle bc hes weird abt affection but after theyve been together for a while joel is the one who like 'sneakily' makes plans to cuddle. like they all go on a date and then end up back at joels and theres blankets on the sofa and some movies out on the table and joels like oh no guess we have to get comfy under the blanket and watch some movies and then we have to cuddle.

[transfemzedaph]

uhhh talk to me about smallzedbeef? :D

🪱

they are all so insufferable once they get together and joel brags to anyone who will listen abt the fact that he has two whole partners and they only have one (he mostly does this to jimmy. jimmy kinda thinks its cute that joel is so happy and ofc takes the teasing. then he goes to complain to tango, who complains to jimmy abt zed also)

zed is like so fucking sappy abt it all and makes weird little usless machines and contraptions as gifts (joel fucking loves them bc theyre great to stim with and beef just loves to reccive gifts bc love langauge)

beef doesnt really talk about it much (except with the nho, they know more than literally anyone else on the server but hey, theyre not gonna tell anyone) but hes happier than hes been in a while, and he feels a lot less lonely now, the other two coming by to visit him often, even though hes far away from everything and everyone else