Can Augie Doggie smell the heavy taste through his smartfone? (An Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy Fanfic)
Ever concerned to the point of suspicious about the latest fads and their impact on the oh-so-precocious Augie, Doggie Daddy couldn’t help but be surprised at what his Son of Sons was watching on his smartfone one afterlunch after school--and why Augie couldn’t help but giggle uncontrollably at turns.
“Augie, my son of sons!! What infernal nonsense is that you’re watching via the smartfone you have?!!”
“Dad,” Augie responded, “should you ask, it’s the latest pimple-popping video! All the kids with smartfones are watching them when they get--”
Prompting Doggie Daddy to get slightly more irate: “Son of sons ... what is the big idea watching pimple-popping videos, aside from cheap laughter?!”
“They’re the big sensation, ever-doting Father of Fathers!”
“Clearly, my son, aren’t they making you sick to your stomach?!”
“Not quite that way, Dad, if you parse it that way.”
“Aren’t they making you queasy?”
“’Queasy’, Father? With a title like ‘Satisfying Video Skin Care Beauty and Oddly Relaxing Music Sleep’?”
“Now where exactly have I heard that before?” was how Doggie Daddy responded. “And doesn’t that sound a bit in the vein of ‘All Your Base Are Belong to Us’ and other mangled English from Japan and China otherwise found in merchandise sold at the Dollar Tree?”
(Augie couldn’t help but roll over convulsed at how Doggie Daddy rendered the title of that particular acne-popping video.)
“May I just borrow your smartfone,” Doggie Daddy requested, “and find out for myself what exactly this is all about?”
“Go ahead,” replied a sheepish Augie. “If it makes you feel any better about it ...”
Whereupon Augie headed downstairs to the study ... and, for his part, Doggie Daddy couldn’t help but look through the cache of such potentially tasteless videos that would make some vomit and others lose any semblance of appetite by their very nature: “Now let’s see, what are some of these videos my Augie’s been watching anyway? ‘Comfort for the old man’? ‘Let us enjoy the cleaning’? ‘Would you mind share them the headphone’? ‘Can you smell the heavy taste through the screen?’ ... I cannot imagine it: My Augie’s watching earwax-removal and pimple-popping videos all this time! And you wonder what this is making Augie over time!”
Within a few minutes, Augie was called from his studies into the parlour: “Oh, Augie!!”
“Yes, Father of Fathers--is it about some of those videos on the smartfone?”
“I’m afraid so, son ... and I cannot help but notice such videos as you’ve grown fond of--titles like ‘Let us enjoy the cleaning’--”
(Belly laugh from Augie)
“’Can you smell the heavy taste through the screen?’”
“That IS an actual earwax-removal video title, Father of Fathers!” Augie chimed in as a know-it-all, adding, “But then, can you smell the heavy taste--”
“Augie,” Doggie Daddy remarked, “I give up ... I do admit, though, that such videos depicting removal of earwax and pimple popping--especially when such gets to be rather explosive to the point of repulsive--while some may find them amusing, Augie my son, might I suggest that, in future, you start being a little more selective in terms of the videos you choose to download.”
“Yes, Dearest Father.”
“Especially considering where some such videos, in their hilarity, can be enough to lose your appetite for supper at an especially crucial time of the day.”
“Not a bad idea, Father.”
“Now, to make a few calls to some of the neighbours ... they might be getting their jollies as well over such tasteless videos themselves ...”
