🪺 Hatching Surprises
When a baby dragon goes running loose in the mountain, it's all hands on deck trying to catch it. Whilst Bilbo comes to realize it isn't a stomach bug he's carrying after all
WARNINGS: woop woop 📣 discussions of mpreg.
"Bilbo?"
A hand rubbed slow circles along his back, reeling him out from fuzziness and back to the empty table that once held a group of elves and men the last he'd blinked. He turned to look at Thorin who stood at the side of his chair.
"You fell asleep." He said, brows furrowed with concern.
"I did? Oh goodness," Bilbo's shoulders sunk; he could have sworn he only closed his eyes for a moment of rest, listening as the voices of many merged into inaudible noise and murmurs. His first year as a consort and here he was napping on the job! His only hope to quell his embarrassment was to assure the traveling ambassadors that his impromptu snooze wasn't out of boredom but done by whatever cold he'd caught next he saw them.
"I'm sorry, I know this council was important and I---" The hobbit sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he pushed his chair back to stand. "I've been rather fatigued as of late. Suppose it's finally caught up to me."
"You've been feeling unwell?" Thorin seemed to grow more worried hearing so.
"Nothing to fuss over, I'm only a little tired. A bit sore as well, now that I'm thinking of it..." Bilbo couldn't help himself from letting his eyes sink shut as he stepped forward, his head resting on the dwarf's chest, a pleased hum leaving his throat when Thorin's arms hung around him. "You know, you could put those wonderful hands of yours to work and offer me a massage." He felt the curve of Thorin's smile against the top of his curls.
"I will gladly offer my services." Thorin ran his palms up his arms and pressed them along the hobbit's shoulders, not too roughly though just enough to offer him a moment of relief. Bilbo nearly fell back asleep all together again until they had unfortunately been disturbed.
"You have---oh," Fíli had barged through the doors with Kíli right behind him, both of them pausing to take in the scene. "...Are we interrupting?"
"What is it?" Thorin asked dryly.
"Well..." The blond eyed his brother, who shrugged in return. The two then uttered at the same time 'dragon'.
That certainly woke Bilbo up.
When they arrived the whole company had been gathered and were chattering loudly, with the additions of Dís, who now made her home in Erebor---as well as Calendula, the hearth spirit in the form of a cat they had befriended not long before. She only seemed to be there out of her own boredom. Everyone quickly silenced once Thorin raised his voice. "Does someone care to explain the meaning of this?"
"Oh, aye, you see---" Bofur was the first to begin. "We were looking around the hoards 'o gold after some lads reported hearin' some awfully strange noises, then---"
"It came at us! I fell over it's tail!" Bifur exclaimed.
"That was my leg!" Bofur corrected.
"It tried swallowing my axe whole!" Gloin stomped in to give his part, which prompted a wave of rambles from each dwarf.
If Bilbo hadn't had a headache, he certainly did now. Looking down at his feet he spotted Calendula bumping her head to his legs affectionately, spying up at him until he finally scooped her into his arms. Thorin was too distracted trying to understand about ten stories at once to be bothered by her pawing at his hair.
"Just get to the point!" Dwalin huffed.
"Look, they found a dragon right out of its egg and trapped it---that's when we found 'em." Kili pointed to himself than Fili, who nodded intently.
"We knew you two were busy, so we went and told mum." Said Fili, pointing to Dís in turn.
"And I directed them to you." Dís waved a hand to Thorin, who looked just about as tired as Bilbo felt.
That was how they ended up in a small room face to face with a miniature fire-drake, though entirely against Thorin's wishes that Bilbo be nowhere near it or any dragon ever again, as the hobbit fought fiercely to remind him he did rather well last time one needed to be delt with. In any case, surely a hatchling wasn't nearly as life threatening as one Smuag's age, he thought. Thorin still kept his blade at his side regardless.
Within strong metal bars the dragon cooed sadly, as large as the biggest dog but sounding as helpless as a chick that fell from its nest, stuck far away where no one could hear its cries. Bilbo's heart felt strained when it met his eyes. "We have to let it out."
He could practically hear Thorin's scowl before it happened. "And then what? Allow it to plunder our--"
"Thorin! Look at it! I hardly think it takes issue with you or anyone here, not unless you keep speaking like that. Now I... well, I haven't particularly met many dragons in my day, but I doubt they're all the same. As my mother used to say, 'don't go judging a hobbit by their cabbages'."
That analogy merely went lost on Thorin, but still; he looked at the dragon, his distasteful expression fading into something more sympathetic. Trusting Bilbo's insight, (though not without a few disapproving grumbles) he nicked the lock that held the cage shut with his blade, allowing the small door to swing open. The dragon was still frightened, cowering as far back as it could for a few minutes until it was certain neither of the strange beings staring at it were a threat. It sniffed the area tentatively, stepping towards Thorin who tensed at its approach, holding his sword low but at his front, unsure of each of its movements. Feeling the heat of his anxiety boil from him, Bilbo laid a gentle hand to the dwarf's arm, watching as his shoulders loosened a bit.
When the dragon and Thorin had settled well enough with each other, Bilbo suggested they give it something to eat. Whatever a mother dragon was bound to feed a hatchling they may have not had exactly, but a bucket of fish and chopped meats brought in by Bombur would do just fine. As Bilbo has the bucket of goods handed off to him through the door, halfway the smell wafted up his nose and suddenly he felt sick. He covered his mouth with his palm, hoping the nausea would wave away until it was clear it wasn't. He left Thorin with the bucket and darted out the room before disaster struck.
It was strange, he'd been in a barrel of fish far worse than anything Erebor had in the pantry and wasn't ill in the slightest---well, at least not so urgently. He hunched over himself and nothing came forward, thankfully---still, something uncomfortable pooled in him. When Thorin rushed to check on him he assured the dwarf it was nothing more than a bad reaction to some unsavory fish, but such an answer was hard to believe when it began to happen again the very next morning. This time his last meal came back, unfortunately. Oin provided him with an infusion tea of sorts to dial down the nausea while he was set to stay in bed, much per Thorin's request.
As Bilbo rested for the day, that left Thorin and the company alone with the pint-sized dragon issue...
"Hey, this little guy's not so bad." Fili remarked with a grin as he waved his hand around for the dragon to chase playfully. "Think we should name 'em?"
"After me, of course." Kili mused.
"Well, that'd just be cruel to the dragon, wouldn't it?" The blond snickered as his brother swatted at him.
"We will not be naming it." Thorin was quick to shut them down, as serious as someone with a big-eyed fur ball in their arms could be. Calendula's hair had stirred Bilbo into a sneezing fit, so Thorin brought her with him instead, ignoring however many laughs his nephews subjected him to for carrying her around. Even Dís gave him a look. "What?"
"You would think that cat is the true king, the way you and Bilbo tote her about." She said.
Thorin suppressed a groan and set Calendula back to the floor. "The hatchling should be returned to its own kind. It does not belong among dwarves."
"You intend to find yourself a dragon who will take it? Sounds like more work for what it's worth." Dís raised a curious brow to her brother, whereas Fili and Kili gave him those frowns of disappointment they would when they were boys.
"Mum's right; plus, if you and Uncle Bilbo can keep that cat, how come we can't have a friend of our own?" Asked Kili a bit too sweetly.
"And just what do you intend to do with it when it grows half the size of this mountain?" Thorin questioned.
"That'll be years from now, eh? Dragon's age slower than a snail! Think I read it somewhere in one of Ori's books." Fili shrugged.
"You read?" Kili laughed, Thorin sighed. Getting little to nowhere, by the end of that day he had forbid Fili and Kili to engage with the dragon entirely---only allowing it to be fed and watched until they found a place for it to properly go. That rule lasted about a few hours at best.
---
A strong fist clanked against the door rapidly, waking them with a start. Thorin pulled himself up from his spot on the floor just at the end of their bed, where he then had been after Bilbo urged him to sleep somewhere else (meaning out of the room, which was clearly ignored) to avoid getting sick. When Thorin opened the door Dís stood tapping her boot to the ground.
"They let it out."
"Who?" Thorin knew exactly what she meant.
"My sons, those little---" She sighed. "They say it was an accident, that they were only trying to feed it then it ran out the door. Whether I believe that, I haven't decided. Everyone's started chasing it, but can't seem to pin it down. Good morning, Bilbo." She quirked her head past Thorin's shoulder enough to spot the hobbit emerge from the layers of blankets.
"Mm, good morning." He replied before sinking back down.
Thorin began to buckle his boots and strap his blade to his side. "How many are searching?"
"The whole mountain, I would say." Dís affirmed.
Thorin was quick to join them right then and there, wanting to be rid of such dragon business. Bilbo peered out from his hide once more, just only catching the end of Thorin's sudden leave. By that, along with feeling well enough to get out of bed without needing a bowl to be sick in (hopefully), Bilbo invited Dís for some much needed morning tea. When they had entered the kitchen it seemed the entire staffing was roped into the dragon hunt as well. Bilbo always preferred preparing his own dishes, anyways.
"You look to be in higher spirits." Dís said as she gently blew the steam off the rim of her mug.
"Today has been better, well---at least so far. Can't say I've pinned down where I could have picked up such a cold." Bilbo swirled his cup slowly, watching the liquid making its way around in circles. "Less nauseous than yesterday morning, though still rather sore... hm, mostly in my chest, as odd as it sounds. You know, typically as hobbits we lose our appetite whenever ill---horrible thing, missing all those meals---but I've had the strangest craving for strawberries and parsley. I don't believe we even have either of those here."
The dwarf chuckled after her last sip. "By that, it sounds as if your expecting one."
Bilbo didn't quite catch her meaning. "Pardon?"
"As in pregnant."
Suddenly his tea went up the wrong pipe and left him working through spats of coughing. Dís gave him a few hearty pats to his back to weed out the remaining chokes till he was done. Now the alleged 'cold' of his made a lot more sense. "Oh, Eru," He fell back in his chair, rubbing the last sticking tiredness from his eyes. "How did I not---of course! Parsley!"
"Bilbo? I have to say you've lost me."
"No, no, I mean---it wasn't... well, it was. Your right. Er, about me."
Dís blinked silently for a few moments, almost as if she heard wrong. "About you---by the Makers hammer, you're pregnant? Is that common among male hobbits?"
"Ah, yes. Most usually decide not to, but yes. Indeed." Bilbo nodded, a bit frantically.
"Does Thorin know?"
It was like he swallowed the tea wrong all over again. "Thorin! Oh dear, what on earth am I doing here bumbling when I should be---" He bounced off his chair, returning his half finished cup to the wash bin before continuing. "I've got to find him and---oh, blasted dragons! He could just about be at the bottoms of the mountain as of now."
"He couldn't have gotten that far. Come on, I'll help you start searching." Dís said, wearing a kind smile that assured him.
"Right, yes. Thank you."
"Well, that's what family's for, isn't it?"
Meanwhile...
"Honestly, it wasn't on purpose!"
"Yeah, we barely saw it coming." Added Fili.
"Exactly," Kili said. "and when have we ever lied to you?" Thorin's silence was enough to cause him to cringe. "…Recently, that is."
Just then a trickling sound of thuds drew their attention to one of the treasure sorting rooms that had yet to be restored, still dust ridden and askew. As the three rushed in the end of a spiked red tail squeezed into an opening of a caved wall of rock that covered a doorway. The dragon's ruckus had made the rest of the rock tumble in on itself so the opening became far too small for any of them to crawl through. Kili bent down to get a view of the rest of the pathway, spotting a light at the end to another room. "Well, hate to say it, but I don't think any of us are getting passed this."
"We'll go around." Thorin said.
"Awh, that'll take ages! Surely it'd be gone by the time we made it."
"Hang on, I know someone who could fit in there easy." Fili raised a proposing hand, and no longer than five minutes he returned with the reluctant participant.
"You want me to do.... what?" Ori eyed his surroundings with concern, holding to the cuffs on his large sweater.
"Just crawl right through that hole and see if there's still a dragon at the end of it. Shouldn't be any problem for you." Fili patted him on the back, which didn't exactly make him feel much better, but it was something besides the potential of him getting bitten or burned. Or both. "If it's there, eh... keep it occupied till we can find our way around, yeah?"
"Sure, I guess."
"You'll take this with you." Thorin forwarded his sword to the young dwarf, even if he hadn't had much practice or comfort with blades. "If it means to do you harm, you return straight back. Understood?"
"Uh, yes! Understood!" Ori saluted with one hand and nearly dropped the sword on contact with his other. He gulped and got to the floor, mumbling "Dori's s'not going to like this..." as he entered the tunnel.
"You sure this is a good idea?" Kili questioned, uncertain.
"'Course!" Said Fili. "Besides, Ori could use more close courters exposure."
"Right, like five armies close courters weren't enough for all of us for years." Kili scoffed.
"Uh, I don't see anything..." Ori called out from the other side. "S'empty. Maybe it left? Unless it... oh! W--wait, don't---" He cried out, the sound of the sword dropping to the floor promptly that was followed by a strange poof.
"Ori? What's going on in there?" Kili peered into the tunnel, catching a glimpse of the other dwarf on his way back.
Ori made it just halfway through before he stopped. "It's got my leg!"
"Hang on Ori!" Fili got down to his chest and reached as far as he could, grasping Ori's hand and tugging against the dragon who tried getting him back. Kili and Thorin grabbed Fili's ankles and pulled till both of them were out.
Ori stood up, soot covering his face and a boot missing from his foot. Though other than that he hadn't been hurt. "It's... it's in there."
"You both go on ahead, I'll uh... go help Ori dust off." Fili said, surely feeling bad for being the one to set the other dwarf there in the first place. The four split ways and while on their way down the halls they bumped into Dís, who seemed to be out of breath from running.
"Oh, Fili---have you seen you're Uncle?" She panted, then took a good look at Ori who was frowning. "What's happened to you?"
"Dragon." Ori sniffled the soot coating his nose away.
"He and Kili just headed off that way, you should be able to catch up with them." Fili said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.
And luckily, she had. "Thorin!" She called, catching his and Kili's attention from the door they were attempting to (unsuccessfully) kick down. "Bilbo's looking for you, he has a... message."
Thorin turned a brow to her. "What sort of message?"
"It would be best if he tell you himself."
"Ha! I got it to work," Kili said, jiggling the old door's handle. "Quite the lockpick I am, if I do say so myse---" As he opened it, out came the dragon charging in a flash, heading further downward into the mountain. Dís then became a new member of the great chase, whether she agreed to be or not.
----
Bilbo's patience had finally wearied thin, all after spending just about the entire day running amuck in search for his own blasted husband, who everyone except him had already seen plenty of times. He'd even lost Dís somewhere through, only left to wonder if she had better luck than him. He sat fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves mindlessly on a low stone bench, tired and simply wishing for Thorin's warmth on such a cold day it turned to be.
"Oh! Hello, Bilbo." There sounded a dash of light, Bofur. "Any luck finding Thorin?"
"Ah, no, I'm afraid not. I've given up for the day, I'd say." He leaned his head back to the hard wall behind, his heart twinging for not being able to offer the dwarf a smile like usual.
"What's got you so blue? Something the matter?" Bofur sat himself next to the hobbit.
"Well, I... I have something I'd like to get off my chest, but seeing as Thorin has disappeared into the clouds I can't bloody do that!"
"Hm," Bofur nodded. "You can tell me, you know. I've always got a listening ear open!"
"That's kind of you, Bofur, really. But I---it's... a bit complicated." Bilbo said.
The dwarf understood. "That's alright. The offer still stands, 'course! Oh, but there is one thing I can do for you."
Bilbo couldn't help but be curious. "And what may that be?"
Bofur then raised his arms wide and enclosed the hobbit in a strong hug, and though short and a little rough, the suddenness of it all had Bilbo chuckling fondly. "Better?"
"Yes, thank you. I suppose I did need that." Bilbo managed to draw up a smile after all.
"Good!" Bofur cheered. "Now, have you seen a dragon by any chance?"
It was later when Bilbo had decided to retire to bed that then came the clamoring at the door, scratching and clawing with desperation. What slunk into the room as he opened it was the highly wanted criminal itself, quickly cowering behind the hobbit, shaking. "Oh, oh dear. You're..."
"I'll kill it! Slinkin' dirty worm!" That roar of determination could only come from Dwalin, either honestly or simply out of exhaustion from tracking it. Bilbo heard him coming up the hall, and in a panicked move hid the dragon in the corner of the door and closed it just enough to leave his head visible.
"It's in there!" Dwalin growled.
Bilbo put on a blank face. "What is?"
"That dragon!"
"Hm," He eyed the room inquisitively, just to sell things. "No, no dragons here. I think I'd well know if one was in my own room."
Dwalin didn't look entirely convinced. "Then open the door."
"Ah, well I... don't... have any clothes on!" Don't have any clothes on? Bilbo repeated in his head, holding back an audible groan. "That's why I can't exactly open this door, you see. Er, also, would you by chance have any luck spotting Thorin as of recent?"
"Has he got to do with you and your clothes bein' off?" Dwalin raised his brows at him.
"What? No!" Bilbo wasn't sure if the flush drawing up his back was from the insinuation or the dragons breath behind him. "That's---good night."
"He's on his---"
Bilbo shut the door before Dwalin could finish. "You've caused quite the stir, haven't you?" He addressed the dragon, who stared at him innocently while chewing at the end of his grandfather's carpet. "Excuse me! Don't eat---I brought that all the way from Bag End!" He shooed it away, only able to stop the teething beast by sitting directly on top of the carpets corner to cover it. "That is rather rude, you should know."
The dragon quirked its head, as if trying to understand his words. It then put it's nose forward to take in the new and odd smell of hobbit, shuffling his curls and even going as far as taking a curious chomp at his ear. "That is completely unnecessary! Now, quite frankly only one person is allowed to do that, and it is not yo---" He ducked down from a high swing of its tail. He supposed being a dragon babysitter was far better than having to be interrogated by one a million times larger. Much, much better.
The dragon circled him a few rounds, seemingly scoping out a place to finally settle. Lowering down to its legs, it placed its head on Bilbo's lap, just a little past his stomach. The gentle warmth it carried was unexpectedly soothing, for his physical aches and weariness. It was not yet the great heat it would become, but a subtle kindle. He wasn't sure how to take such a gesture, if that's even what it was. Whether the dragon somehow knew of his pregnancy and was offering comfort, or simply wanted a pillow and someone who wouldn't chase after it like a loose chicken---he wasn't opposed.
They stayed sat for a few quiet minutes till there was a knock. "Bilbo?" It was Thorin.
"Oh---ah, one moment!" Bilbo hauled the dragon off him, glimpsing around the room for anywhere he could stow the tiny fury. Eventually he coaxed it into the connected washroom and shut the door tight. He considered moving a chair in front of it for good measure, but that was bound to cause more suspicion. Besides, he had other things to focus on. "And where have you been, Thorin Oakenshield?" He said as he swung the door wide open, arms crossed.
Thorin always knew he'd done something to upset Bilbo when he used his full name in that voice. "I apologize for my... absence today."
"Mhm," The hobbit nodded, unamused.
"I've been told you have urgent news to share?"
"Er, yes, it's... you'll want to come in." Bilbo sat him down on their bed, all before realizing he hadn't exactly thought of how he was going to tell him. Up until then he didn't think much if it was something Thorin would want, letting doubt cloud his mind. "I'm not entirely sure how to go about this,"
"Is everything alright?" Thorin asked.
"Yes. Well, I think. You see---oh, for goodness sake, I'm pregnant! There, I said it." The silence mixed with Thorin's wide-eyed expression had him begin to panic. "It's yours. What am I saying? Of course it is, it's not like I---never mind. Ah, most male hobbits can be, but it's particularly common among the Took line. I suppose I... failed to mention that at some point." As he breathed in a gulp of air there was a notable crashing sound from the bath. "...And the dragon's in our washroom." He prepared to say more, but Thorin stole him into a hug.
The dwarf's hands cupped his face tenderly, drawing one down to brush the line of his waist. "How long have you...?"
"I only just figured it out this morning. Well, Dís did, to be exact---I must be nothing more than a month or so on. Now I know we haven't had much of a proper discussion about us and... the possibility of having children, but I..." He sighed. "Is this... something you want as well?"
"Bilbo," Thorin knitted their fingers together with a firm gentleness, meeting the hobbit's eyes. "You carry our child; there is no greater blessing I could ask for, no greater joy than to be able to share new life with you, khîê."
There Bilbo smiled, brightly and relieved of the weight he'd been encumbered with all day. He stood to his toes and draped his arms over Thorin's shoulders, catching him halfway to a kiss. Thorin grinned against his lips, hoisting Bilbo up into his arms, the hobbit's legs clinging to his sides. Thorin only had one more question as they parted briefly. "Now what's this about a dragon in our washroom?"
Bilbo spared the washroom door a single glance. "We'll deal with that later."
