#snake uncle

[telestoapologist]

"the spider is blackmailing drifter you can't think they're friends he's abusing him" those two would blackmail each other as a joke

[telestoapologist]

can i offer you all an assortment of destiny memes i’ve made in these trying times (6/????)

[telestoapologist]

eof group chat

Lodi: Hey everyone, I'm gay.

Drifter: yeah no shit

Orin: Easy, Drifter. Thank you for telling us, Lodi. We accept you. :)

Ikora: We're proud of you, Louis.

IX: .just h|it som|eone wi|th my tra|in.

[telestoapologist]

drifter: okay, hero, walk me through how we’re grillin’ this cheese.

sunny: two pieces of white bread, well-buttered. then the star of the show.

drifter: we talkin’ gruyère? pepper jack? vex?

sunny: kraft single.

drifter: sleazy does it, cousin.

[telestoapologist]

i'm still fucked up abt todd's performance in hearing drifter just absolutely lose his cool and mourn eris. when he cried for help when we couldn't reach him in time. sobbed and whimpered over her body, cradling her and telling her it's going to be okay as though she could still hear him. "moondust". "moonlight". i never thought i'd hear such sounds from him but they are being ripped DIRECTLY from deep within his soul and AUDFHGgfds

[telestoapologist]

Osiris: Okay, so imagine a magic button. Drifter: Alright, I'm imaginin' the button. Osiris: If you press the button— Drifter: What color is it? Osiris: —It's the only button. It doesn't matter what color it is. Drifter: Nah, I ain't fallin' for that again. Last time there was a red button and a blue button— Osiris: That was a different thought experiment. Drifter: —and I tried to be a nice guy and pick blue so I could save everybody, but it turns out ya'll a bunch of selfish motherfuckers, and I died. Osiris: It wasn't buttons, it was pills. Drifter: Don't care. I'm out for me this time. What color is the button? Osiris: Ugh, fine. It's red. Drifter: I press the button. Osiris: You don't even know what it does yet! Drifter: And I pull the trolley lever. Osiris: There is no lever! Drifter: Bias for Action. Osiris: Just listen: There's a button that lets you save 10^100 shrimp, however, one random person dies as a result. Would you press it? Drifter: What flavor are the shrimp? Osiris: Flavor?? Drifter: Yeah, you know: garlic, Old Bay, Korean BBQ. Osiris: You're saving the shrimp, not eating them! Drifter: Saving them for what? Osiris: For nothing. They get to live their lives. Drifter: What? Just doin' shrimp stuff? Osiris: Yes. Drifter: How long do shrimp live? Osiris: Uh- well, I'd say it depends on the species? 1-2 years? Drifter: And then what happens? Osiris: They die. Drifter: Seems like a big waste to me. Osiris: How is that a waste? They have the freedom to live full lives! Drifter: Weren't you just tellin' me last week that the hive live in perpetual agony, and we should commit krill omnicide to free from the suffering of the flesh? Osiris: That was last week. I've spent more time researching the hive, and now I've changed my opinion entirely. Drifter: Uh huh. Osiris: It's called updating your priorities. Drifter: Okay, well here's my updated prior: I press the button, let the shrimp live for a year, and then I eat them. Osiris: What?! Drifter: That's right. All of 'em Osiris: You can't eat 10^100 shrimp! Drifter: Alright, then I'll freeze the leftovers. Osiris: You would need a freezer bigger than the universe! Drifter: Really? Osiris: Yes! 10^100 is more than all the atoms in the observable universe! Drifter: Okay, then I have a freezer bigger than the universe. Osiris: You can't just— Drifter: No, wait. Three freezers. One for each flavor. Osiris: You cannot just make up three freezers! Drifter: Why not? Osiris: It's a hypothetical! Drifter: Yeah, I hypothetically have three big ass freezers. Osiris: The point— Drifter: Listen. If you get to throw out a big ass number of shrimp, I get to have some big ass freezers. Braytech freezers. Osiris: The point of the hypothetical— Drifter: Never been a Braytech guy, but you gotta admit— Osiris: The point of the hypothetical is to interrogate our moral intuitions! Drifter: Yeah, well the only thing I want to interrogate right now is a seafood menu. Osiris: I don't think you're engaging with this in good faith. Drifter: Wait, I got a new hypothetical. A counterfactual even. Osiris: Oh really. Drifter: You know what I would've done differently if I knew you were gonna hit me with this mouthwatering supper-time supposition? Osiris, haven given up by now: What. Drifter: I would've had breakfast this morning. Osiris: Fuck you.

[telestoapologist]

you know, just in case you didn't know that

[telestoapologist]

oh!! here's spider's full after exfil dialogue in regards to the tharsis reformation! there's a lot of things i like about renegades, but i think these guys are by far one of my favorites. like. ai+robots learning independence and self-expression and adoring it in all kinds of ways is one of the top 10 tropes for me.

another dialogue bit that i'm extremely fond of is eido mentioning that zephyrus actually wants to stop the vex from taking over and assimilating everything into the hivemind. they want everyone and everything to keep its individuality now that they know what it's like to have it...

lastly!! here's some additional dialogue with drifter and spider from another post-exfil. i do like the sentimental tone in spider's voice...

sdfgvfd and naturally drifter responds,