#snap-crack-pop

[mayhemxmugglesxmagic]

Draco: I’m not against all weapons. I fenced as a child.

Harry: Ha!! ok *pulls out a quill*

Draco: What are you doing?

Harry: I’m keeping a list of all the crazy white people shit you say.

Draco: *scoffs* ... What’s on it?

Harry: Boat shoes.

[mayhemxmugglesxmagic]

Narcissa: I swear to Salazar, Draco -- If you're lying ...

Draco: Greg saw it too, Mum.

Narcissa: Gregory, is easily led.

Greg: Aye, Mrs. M. I am. Thank you.

[mayhemxmugglesxmagic]

Daphne: Potter's dyin' for peace like isn't he? It's all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for 'im.

Astoria: Aye, I kind of hope it works out for all of us, Daph.

[mayhemxmugglesxmagic]

– The end of an all night Slytherin study session; Pansy opens the curtains, a collective groan echos -

Theo: Sweet suffering Merlin, it's the morning already! What are we gonna do?

Pansy: Well maybe we could start with calmin' the fuck down.

Theo: Calm down? We're still on William the Orange, Pansy -- haven't even looked at the famine, let alone the Irish goblin rebellion, or pixie rising!

Pansy: We got the gist, they ran out of spuds, the goblins lost some gold -- everyone was raging.

Vince: Well, I still can't tell me rebellions from my risings.

Greg: And who's fault is that. If your lot had stopped invading us for five fuckin' minuets there'd be a lot less to wade through -- English prick.

Draco: Circe's tits -- Not this again.

[mayhemxmugglesxmagic]

-Upon encountering a statue of Harry on way to the leaky-

Ron: Merlin, they've put lights on it.

Harry: We have to tear it down.

Hermione: No, that's illegal. There are avenues we can go down to get that done civilly.

Harry: Hermione, I have to do this. It must be destroyed.

Hermione: Nonsense, now come along I want a drink.

-On the other side of the statue leaving the leaky-

Pansy: Merlin, they've put lights on it.

Draco: We have to tear it down.

Theo: What? No, Draco that's illegal.

Draco: Theo, I have to do this. It must be destroyed.

Theo: Draco, no!

-Draco casts a bombarda-

Harry: Yes! Thank you! That's the man I know and occasionally have sex dreams about.

Ron: It's true he told me

[mayhemxmugglesxmagic]

Theo: When I woke up this morning I had a feeling something terrible was going to happen, and also that essentially deep down, I'm quite an evil person.

Pansy: It's called a hangover, Theo. You'll be grand.

[mayhemxmugglesxmagic]

Umbridge: As some of you know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year --

Pansy: Do you mean when you shacked up with that slaggy centaur, but then he dumped you?

Snape: Ms. Parkinson! Please, raise your hand if you want to ask a question.

- Pansy raises her hand -

Umbridge: Alright, I think we should just move on and --

McGonagall: The centaur certainly did.

[mayhemxmugglesxmagic]

Blaise: A man should mess up your lipstick, not your mascara.

Pansy: Mess up my lipstick, and they'll find your body at the bottom of the River Thames.