Azazel is a low rank demon guarding the gate of cocytus who has a huge crush on the beautiful and unreachable lucifer and likes to daydream about being his second in command, while grigori is lucifer’s ever skeptic brother as well as his lieutenant.
One day for some reason lucifer suddenly appears and collapses right in front of the gate with some enemy chasing right after. Azazel panics since he’s alone and even sounding the alarm, it would take a while for the real guards to come and defend them so he takes matter into his own hand and uses dark magic spells to banish the enemy into other realm.
When the medic team comes, they wont let him come with lucifer since he’s not part of lucifer’s household. Azazel turns away and looks at the ground and sighs, I’m going to be his second in command one day and always be by his side…
One of the medic hears it and mistakes azazel to be lucifer’s secret hidden very hush hush betrothed and lets him in.
Azazel is like what, oh you misunderstand i’m not--
But the medic is like, wink wink ITS OKAY I’LL KEEP YOUR SECRET
Azazel insists no really i’m just nobody--
But the medic won't hear it and anyway that’s how azazel is allowed to be in lucifer’s sick room.
The team can't figure out what's wrong with lucifer since he doesn't show any injury, and decides he’s in a coma to recover his lost power or something.
Grigori visits and only blinks at the medic’s excited explanation about azazel's presence in lucifers room. He knows lucifer has candidates and azazel’s definitely not one of them. He determines to uncover azazel's evil plot and exposes him for the liar that he is.
Azazel finds him annoying and persistent and he’s determined to stay out of grigori’s way.
Ridiculous shenanigans and hijinks of romcom variety ensues.
Meanwhile Azazel keeps trying to explain to every member of lucifer household he meets that it’s all a misunderstanding, but he keeps being interrupted.
Etc
Mostly i really want to see this dialogue when god/zeus/lucifer’s creator/whoever is the current leader of temple ark trying to officiate lucifer and azazel’s relationship:
Azazel: Im in love with your son.
God: I know. :)
Azazel: Not that one (points to lucifer), but that one (points to grigori).
Nina: * arriving on the room bringing a lot of bags full of decorating items and carrying a huge white marriage dress combining with a wedding tuxedo *
* Rita and Azazel are drinking some wine and they observe amazed Nina arrive carrying a " world of stuffs in her arms"*
Rita : Wow,why so many embellishments? What's the big event?!
Nina : * giving a giant smile * My weeding will be in one week * showing a shining ring on her finger*
Azazel : * starts a nervous laughing attack * And who in the hell is the fool who agreed to accepted this?!
Nina: * giving a darkness grinn * Why you don't look on your right hand?!
Azazel : * looking confused* * extending his right hand to find a large and shiny ring on his finger* WTF?! WHAT?! WHEN DID I...
Nina: Why didn't you ask to the "12- wine-bottles-guy" from yesterday , what he said when I casually asked him about it?
Azazel : * looking to the wine glass in front of him* Why did you betray me?!
But what if lucifer wears a skirt because he got one hell of a butt ( like azazel's) and prefers that no one sees how fine his butt is 🍑🤔
It’s also probably the reason why Lucifer wears an armor that covers only half of his chest: so that ppl would be distracted by what can be seen and not what’s purposefully hidden.
otoh it’s also possible the half-chest armor and skirt thing is actually a part the “in” fashion style in Lucifer’s generation.
this is bcs Grigori, currently the only known fallen angel hinted from Lucifer’s generation, also sporting the same style of armor and skirt thing; and in Grigori’s case, its even more outrageous.
At least Lucifer’s armor still pretends it’s an armor by covering half his chest; meanwhile, Grigori’s armor does nothing except emphasizes how Grigori has such nice chest and abs, look at all this nice exposed skin pls.
but if armor style is based on generational fashion thing, then why does Arakiba, who explicitly claims coming from the same generation as azazel and seems pretty close to him, actually goes no-armor and prefers to expose everything?
(unless you count his accessories as armor, which I don’t)
But Arakiba also wears one of his two belts (they probably count as 1 and a half but humor me here) the same way as Azazel, diagonally loose, so maybe at least the belt style is a generational thing.
while Azazel’s leather clothes might be skin tight, considering he wears that bigass distracting chain on his chest in his original card (and genesis), it certainy looks like he prefers ppl to not look at his chest.
idk how his body type is perceived within SnB world, but judging from card illustration above he’s thinner than Demon Lucifer. And in GBF, he’s officially “skinny”. And Arakiba, his close bff, is glaringly “big and muscly” (those big thighs, damn).
I don’t count female fallen angels here bcs regardless of generation most of them (except Olivia) like to expose their chest. Below are Mirin (who appears together with Lucifer in events sometimes) and Samael (who loves snakes. and also has loose diagonal belt style. /coughs)
But, uh, back to Lucifer.
While Lucifer certainly has a nice ass (and he may and may not try to hide it with that skirt thing), considering he is also the 2nd-in-command in Hell, and the actual Leader of the Fallen Angel Army, and not to mention that giant bigass sword he likes to visibly carry whenever he’s out of his room…
…it’s just kind of scary to even attempt to think of him in *that* way.
Gossiping about the scandalous love lives of Lucifer’s (admittedly attractive) direct subordinates (grigori, azazel, mirin, samael) are fair game and totally fine, but when it starts skirting around Lucifer’s affairs… ppl take a thousand steps back.
this is to say, if there’s such thing as The Sexiest Demon polling, then Lucifer will totally top it a thousand years in a row probably. But otoh, if the polling is on The Demon You Want to Sleep with the Most, then he won’t even rank.
ppl admire him, but they also would like to just admire him from far, far away.
so when one of said direct subordinates kinda starts having frequent “private audience” with Lucifer and Lucifer in turn shows blatant favoritism, the Heaven Guys (bless their pure souls) call the aforementioned direct subordinate “Lucifer’s right hand man”, while the Hell population calls him “Lucifer’s public secret”.
Everyone knows but they much prefer to not know also they really want somebody, anybody, to erase their memories of the knowledge please and thank you.
I kinda lose track of the original ask but uh we were talking about lucifer’s appeal how it affects his and azazel’s relationship right? :D :D :D
Lucifer gave Azazel a credit card, fully expecting Azazel to max it.
Except Azazel only used Lucifer's card to buy one expensive thing and spent the rest on bullshits.
like, he bought a giant canvas worth $700, and maybe 10 orders of $8 milkshake
Upon seeing the credit card statement, Lucifer just blinked.
when he asked azazel about it, Azazel was like, "you don't think $8 milkshake is wild? That price is practically robbery!"
context: being an art college student who actually homemade his own paint from literal waste and other free cheap eco friendly materials, spending that much on a milkshake was usually considered rather unthinkable.
Lucifer, who was used to drinking $60 on a cup of coffee everyday, and let's just not count his daily intake of $500 wine, just said, "huh."
he started planning to take azazel to dine in more high class restaurants from then on, instead of spending their time together in a hotel room.
but for now he reminded azazel that he was very encouraged to spend more than that amount from his card.
azazel just frowned at him.
when lucifer checked his card statement in the next month, he saw azazel had bought a $1,000 dildo and like, 14 orders of $18 pizza.
he kinda wanted to facepalm at that (he didn't though bcs he was too cool for facepalm) bcs it seemed azazel had misunderstood; he meant for azazel to use the card for azazel's own need, not *their* need.
he told azazel that but azazel just frowned, kinda irritated, and like, "how do you know I didn't use the dildo all by myself while thinking of you fucking me the next time we'll meet?"
...well then.
Lucifer made a note to himself to take Azazel to more executive functions.
(he'd tell azazel it was so azazel could try socializing and building his own network, but truth was he just wanted more excuse to spend more time with Azazel.)
meanwhile on azazel's campus, Arakiba who was majoring in sculpture was like, "so i heard you have a gentleman benefactor who takes care of you now?"
cerberus, who happened to be sitting next to him, heard it and was like, "you have a sugar daddy and you dare not giving me details???" loudly. in the cafetaria. until every other person was looking their way.
azazel ignored them.
also he thought 'taking care of him' was pushing it. he could take care of himself just fine, thank you very much.
after much annoying and consistent pestering from cerberus, azazel finally admitted, "the sex is worth it. like, reaaally worth it."
I have thsi mini headcanon about the fallen angels and idk who to tell :") .. Azazel is very good at singing and has a beautiful voice, arakiba on the other hand is awful tho he has full confidence that his voice is beautiful. Whenever he has the chance he would start singing and tries to get azazel to sing too. But azazel a tsundere and never accepts. Arakiba sings anyway and it's so bad that grigori hat to punsh him in the face to shut him up. Sometimes azazel gets punshed too.
Ohhh Anon I really like this *____*
and that mugaro at the end! *__*
hope you don’t mind me adding a bit more:
since it is assumed azazel’s the one who teaches mugaro how to play ocarina, it is also assumed he’s good at playing ocarina and other similar instruments like flutes.
while he refuses to sing together with Arakiba, he doesn’t mind accompanying Arakiba’s singing with his flutes.
in fact, whenever he’s asked to sing, he just distracts by playing a flute instead.
Azazel and Arakiba are like, tight BFF, so upon seeing them doing their duet (arakiba sings, azazel plays flute) most ppl/demons just assume the reason azazel doesn’t sing is bcs his singing is as awful as arakiba.
this is also bcs any other fallen angel has been heard singing at one point in public - except azazel.
(yes, including lucifer. tho while everybody agrees he has a nice voice, they also much prefer lucifer to not sing at all bcs when he sings, he sounds too much like he’s gently summoning apocalypse. even *Satan* agrees.)
also, arakiba is actually very aware his singing annoys grigori - which is why he makes sure to sing extra loud whenever grigori is in vicinity.
arakiba mainly just likes how grigori’s perfect calm face breaks whenever he hears him sing.
while azazel’s in no place to lecture his BFF about bad hobby since he has plenty himself, he’d appreciate it if arakiba does not involve him in it.
and Azazel’s like: “why are you even punishing me along with arakiba??? as I am actually one of four of Lucifer’s lieutenants, just like you, so you don’t have authority over me!”
Grigori: “I’m older and therefore wiser. Also, Arakiba’s your subordinate anyway. I’m punishing you for negligence in disciplining your own subordinates.”
Azazel: “WTF. there’s no such rule in the Cocytus Rule Book about a superior taking the fall for a subordinate! I know bcs I rewrote the book to make sure it wouldn’t inconvenience me!”
Grigori’s eyes narrow. “I’ve been wondering why the contents seem slightly different from the last time I read it 1200 years ago.”
whoops.
Arakiba blinks. “there’s such thing as a Hell Rule Book? And you two actually read it???”
two pair of eyes glare at him in disbelief. “What do you mean you have never read it???”
anyway, they try to get Lucifer to referee but Lucifer just thinks it all amusing and tells them to “have at it.”
Arakiba secretly thinks Lucifer just doesn’t want to get shit from both his oldest friend (Grigori) and his secret-except-not-really lover (Azazel) if he takes a side.
(at this point even arakiba forgets he’s the cause for all this in the first place)
ahem.
anyway, similar things keep happening for hundreds of years until Grigori gets fed up and actually starts teaching Arakiba proper singing technique so that while his bad voice can’t be fixed, he wouldn’t sound as awful with proper technique.
sometimes he would even allow himself to duet with Arakiba while Azazel accompanying them with his flute.
Lucifer (and Mugaro) remain the only two people Azazel regularly sings for.
Azazel comes early, just so he could complain loudly about how you're late and all even tho you come on time.
Arakiba also comes early, but unlike azazel, he's totally all gentlemanly about it, won't even complain if you come late, and would totally lie by saying he also just arrives just to make you feel better.
Grigori comes on time, and he's totally punctual to the second and very formal about it.
Lucifer, meanwhile, would totally forget he has a promise to meet up at all. Or on the rare cases where he actually remembers, he would come so very late bcs he just couldn't be bothered to wake up at specific time.
On cooking:
azazel has a sweet tooth, and this was fine and all when he was angel, but ever since he became a fallen, it becomes a problem since it clashes with his tough goth demon image. and so he learns to bake/make desserts and eats them in private, far from the gossiping demon populace.
another reason he learns is that so whenever he's angry at Lucifer but not in the mood to fight, he serves him all kind of apple-based desserts, fully knowing that Lucifer hates apples. Just to be extra petty, he always chooses the ones whose apple scent are particularly overwhelming - just so there's no mistaking these desserts are made of apples.
Lucifer always has a rather bemused face whenever azazel does this, and Azazel takes it to mean Lucifer's actually secretly displeased, and it makes Azazel rather smug.
but the truth is, while it's nothing but truth that Lucifer hates apples, unbeknownst to azazel, he doesn't really mind it when the apples are already crushed and processed into something that does not resemble its original form.
mostly he's bemused bcs whenever azazel tries to serve him apple desserts while saying the butler demon made them, for some reason azazel always has this particular little smug smirk that he finds extremely cute (not that he would ever tell azazel this).
(also, the demon butler's loyalty is first and foremost to lucifer, so it's instantly known azazel's the one to make the desserts once lucifer asks the demons butler.)
he also rather enjoys azazel's desserts (he never tells him this bcs his gut tells him should he ever tell, azazel would actually stop making him desserts.)
needless to say, Lucifer can't cook worth a damn.
Meanwhile, Arakiba is quite an accomplished hunter, and he likes to hunt and kill his food on his own before he cooks them. he specializes in grilling meat and simple meat based soups. Azazel likes meat, so Arakiba always makes sure to hunt for more than what he needs so he could send some to Azazel's Gregor castle.
It's not that Grigori hates cooking; it's just he doesn't see a point in doing things outside his duty. Since his duty doesn't include cooking, he just never bothers to learn the art. But he does learn how to make a vegetable/fruit salad out of self defense bcs between Azazel's desserts and Arakiba's meats, someone has to remind them that immortal they might be, but they need their fiber intakes too.
On flowers:
Azazel and Lucifer totally do not see the point in them.
(Azazel tho, learns flowers language just so he could be passive aggressive when he wants to spite someone.)
Arakiba kinda likes them and often brings a bucket for ppl he likes.
Grigori only sees them as a means to an end and like, sends them for formal purposes only.
On romantic gesture:
Azazel: "If you can't live in this world, then I shall make one where you could live in."
Arakiba: "Beside you is where I want to be, even if I have to go to hell just to be with you."
Grigori: "Life is bigger than you and me, yet every waking moment, I'm choosing my confession, trying to keep my eyes on you."
Lucifer: "I don't need a world that does not have you in it." (and then he proceeds to destroy the world.)
*yes, grigori's quote comes from the song 'Losing My Religion' by Gregorian. Idk, I feel this song kinda fits him.
