#snzvignette

[originalgardensong]

the flip flops flip flop on the cold, unforgiving tile. the children screaming in the background brings you back to your reality: open swim at the rec center. why you decided on swimming as your cardio is truly beyond me.

swim cap adorned, you dip below the crisp water to acclimate before your laps. with each stroke, you feel your nose prickle with chlorine. it settles into a familiar place, deep in the crevices of your sinuses.

stumbling out of the pool, you hurry to the showers to rinse off. brace as you might, the cool air never fails to send you into a bone-chilling shiver. pawing at your nose with one hand and scrubbing with the other, you know it is only a matter of time before you succumb to the tickle. the shower ends with a pinched stifle and an exasperated sigh.

finally, you're heading out to your car, already prepped for your incoming doom. a tissue box eagerly awaits you in the passenger seat, a fact your nose is well aware of as you hitch with the door handle in hand.

you slam your door shut as your breath catches. you pitch forward with hh'ETCHHHUH, nearly hitting your head on the steering wheel. hastily grabbing a handful of tissues, you gear up for a massive fit.

hands desperately clutch the tissues in front of your face as you helplessly hitch. hih-hih? snrf. heh-HRRSHHMPHHH! HAH-CHMMPH. heh-CHNNK, CHNNK, CHNNK. HRRSHHMMPHHH-ooo.

you blow and wipe the tears from your eyes. no, don't set your tissues down just yet. you're not done silly, there's a couple more. just let them out.

hh'ECHHHIUU, etchoo. hih-HRRSHHEWIEEE!

much better now, hmm? as your narrator with a medical license, i would be remiss if i did not strongly advise you to stop swimming with a chlorine allergy. unfortunately, your nose disagrees with your wellness plan.

[originalgardensong]

on the mend

I open my eyes to see – last night’s outfit crumpled against my skin – a pile of tissues on the bed beside me – glistening sweat on my pillowcase – my partner looking at me with a thermometer in one hand and tea in the other

thermometer in mouth, I feel – congestion settling into my chest, making its presence known with every wheeze – snot collecting on my upper lip as the steam makes my nose run – a pounding headache from the lights – an ill-timed prickle in my nose

I let go of – the tension in my lips as my partner pulls out the beeping thermometer – my mug as my breath catches – a powerful triple down into my chest (hh'ESHHHOOO, eSHHIU, etchuu!) – my composure as I turn into a sneezy, snotty mess right in front of my love

I hear – a surprised "bless you honey!" – mug remains thudding in the trash can – footsteps rush to the other side of the room – the clanging of hangers in the closet – the thud of a towel beside me – a gentle voice coaxing me to take off my clothes

[originalgardensong]

your keys jingle as you swing your front door open and set your briefcase on the table. you follow the sound of coughing to your bedroom, and your body softens as you catch sight of him under the covers.

he is lying on his side, curled around his phone propped up on a tissue box. used Kleenex litter the bed and tumble to the floor with each cough. he glances up at you, hazy eyes and crimson nose peaking out above his elbow. you sit at the foot of the bed, rubbing his thigh to console him as his fit ends.

"hey, how are you feeling?" you gently ask as you slip off your shoes.

"I’mb feelindg a liddle bit bedder," he croaks. "mby fever's downd but i'mb sdill so congested. snrf."

"ok, that's good. are you hungry? i can make you some soup if you'd like."

"yeah thad sounds guh-hh-ood. oh excuse mbe i hh-HRSHHoo, MPSHHhoo," he grabs a tissue to soothe his nose.

"bless yuh—huh-kishhiew! hih-kshhhiew!" you snap right into your chest. those sneezes caught you completely off guard.

"bless you! did I get you sick oh my god" he sits up and rushes to feel your forehead. you let him check, knowing that illness is not the reason for your sneezes. you start to work out how you'll explain this to him, and your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"no fever but sweetie, what's wrong?" he worriedly asks. you try to look away, but he tilts your head back towards him.

“i… i sneeze when i hear other people sneeze.” you glance away. "it rarely happens but you've been sneezing like crazy because of your cold and its been making my nose tickle and i can't help it i'm sorry" you ramble.

"oh!" he chuckles. "that is so cute awww. it's like you sympathize with my nose."

you utter the tiniest "yeah" as your cheeks flush again.

"well bless YOU babe!" he exclaims with a kiss on the forehead.

[originalgardensong]

the sun’s rays warm your cheek as you rest your head on his chest. you feel his breath rise and fall as the two of you lie on his picnic blanket, sleepy after your meal. his voice reverberating through his body in response to your melodic mumbles, the bird chatter filling the lulls in conversation. this is bliss.

until your head quickly rises with a sharp inhale. puzzled, you turn to look up at his pulsating nostrils as he suddenly "eh’TCHIUUU" all over you. his face reddens with embarrassment as he sits up and profusely apologizes. you just chuckle and bless him, hoping he realizes you don’t mind at all. his nose still tickles, but he exercises extreme caution this time. he stifles into his elbow. heh-ngxt, ngxt, hh’ngxt, ngxt-chuh, ngxt-choo.

after the fifth stifle, you grow concerned. “it’s ok, just sneeze normally,” you say as you gently pull his elbow away from his face. “what? no-hh’ESHUU, heh-ESHIUUU-snrf.” “Isn’t that better, sneezy?” He smiles as you lean into kiss him. Right before reaching his lips, you hear a loud bark.

You both groan as you realize a dog and its owner are resting at a nearby bench. “Thad explaids it,” he mutters, sniffling wetly into his sleeve.

[originalgardensong]

you watch from across the street as her breath catches again. she’s sitting on the bus bench alone, her nose red with sneeze. the Azalea bush near the benches seems to be the offender, but the bus won’t be here for another ten minutes.

she pitches forward with an exasperated "ahh-TCHHIUUU" into the air, immediately pawing at her nose. her nose squelches but the tickle doesn’t subside and she hitches again, this time with even more urgency. she desperately looks to the sun, triggering a powerful triple. "heh-heh-hh-heh-ngxt-CHOO, HATCHOO ." she fans at her face with her right hand, shaking as the last "HEH-HRSHOOO" leaves a line of snot dripping out of her right nostril.

she tries to just sniff it up, but it’s no use. the tiniest sniffle triggered another sneeze "HURSHHHOOO", and the stream of snot turned into a pair. she unsuccessfully scans her bag for something to stop the stream.

resigned, she grabs the edge of her long skirt, raises it to her quivering nose, and messily blows into it. quite a few cars pass before she comes up for air. she starts to lower the skirt, mistakenly thinking she rid herself of the tickle. she sneezes again, "HHHMPSHHhoo", hastily muffling it into her soaked skirt. it barely changes the volume of her overwhelming sneeze. she mutters to herself as she builds up to sneeze again. "HHMMPH’SHHuuuhh." and again. "hh’NGKTCHHH". and again "HHRRSHH’uh-choo" into the same spot, collapsing into herself with every sneeze. you can hear the skirt struggle to contain the mess. She didn’t — no, couldn’t — lower her skirt until the bus came. the gigantic wet snotty spot adorning the front of her skirt flits from your view as she climbs into the bus. as she seats herself, her chest bobs with hitches as the bus pulls away.

you wish you were riding the bus in that direction.

[originalgardensong]

he leans in to kiss you, and you feel yourself glide toward him. it’s a timid touch at first, cautious, like testing the waters. he pulls away and locks eyes with you. his grin draws you back in for more.

you’re kissing again, passionate this time. your tongues start to play tug-of-war as your arms pull each other closer. in the heat of it all, you lean back into the sofa. your hand tangles in his hair as his brushes yours gently aside.

finally, you pause to breathe. he looks at you with a glint in his eye, then nuzzles his nose against yours.

he leans in for another kiss, but you turn away, nose quivering.

you tuck into your shoulder with a soft, fluttering fit. "hii-k’shhhiuu, hih-hii-kishhiu-kishhhiuuuu."

“aww, did that tickle?” he chuckles. “i’m sorry, babe.”

he kisses the offending nose to apologize, triggering one last “hih-kitshhuu.”

[originalgardensong]

she's sitting on the couch, exhausted and wrapped in a blanket. she feel the sneezes coming again, and all she wants is for them to stop.

"aptchiuuu, ah-ah-atchiiuuu, hetshhiuu, hetshhiuwie! heh-heh..."

she shakes with every sneeze, arms fluttering inwards as she tries to cover them. the blanket slips further with every sneeze, finally puddling at her feet.

your heart pangs. you sit beside her, grab the blanket, and drape it back over her shoulders. then you pull her into your chest, one hand steady at her back.

she sneezes again, collapsing into you with a small "heh-tish-shiuu, ishhhiuu."

"bless you baby! your poor nose."

she sniffles and lets out a long, exasperated sigh against your collarbone.

[originalgardensong]

five more minutes and then you're free. somehow, those five minutes feel like forever. you've been up since five o'clock, stressing about the presentation for the ceo. and after the presentation, you had to stay "on" with that business smile and play nice at the luncheon.

two minutes. you start to think about what you'll do when you leave. a nice drive home in your warm car (they keep the office way too cold), and your partner waiting to watch a movie with you. they made your favorite soup and already texted you pictures of chocolates for dessert.

one minute left. you start to assemble your things but stop as that tickle harasses you yet again. apparently, tickling you throughout the presentation wasn’t enough.

you grab a tissue and—

“hi-itchiu, hh’xgnt, hh’xgnt-chiu, hhrreemphh, hrrtxchhhooo.”

you sniff, defeated. thirty seconds. you don't even bother to fold your tissue neatly this time. not much use hiding the cold now.