So I spent 2016 working four different jobs, they were all ant different times and I stayed on Universal Credit benefit which helped allot since I was only working part time in allot of them, two of which ended really badly in grievances that I lad to launch with company members but that is a whole other pate for a whole other cake.
Today I’m still working part time in a bar which is excellent as I working with my best friend who’;s seen the absolute worst of me and my absolute best, she’s allot more experienced in bar work too so I can take direction from her and I know she’s not just ordering me around.
I’m supposed to be starting a new job in two weeks time but I don’t want to leave where I am now but this pace is full time and totally different to what I’ve been used to, the money will definitely help but I don’t know if I’m willing to sacrifice my happiness and comfort for double the income and a life off benefits for the first time in 5 years.
All my friends and family are so exited for me to be starting at this new place but I’ve heard some real horror stories from a few people about what the work life is like and if I’m honest I would rather stay at the bar with people I know than move onto a new job and sacrifice my fun, that being said i might adore this new job and leave the bar, or ask to go part time at the other place and stay part time at the bar, its all so difficult and confusing and I’m starting to feel like there’s allot of pressure on me to jump into this unknown which is not something I ever cope well with.
Since I’ve been receiving universal credit I’ve grown accustom to a 3 day working week and I don’t know if a full time job would suit me ever, I know I’ve got to consider my future and how I’ll support myself one day and I’ve got to save money for a rainy day but I don’t know if the responsibility of a 9-5 and another job is something I’m capable of
I’ve got to call round all these different people now to try and get a free bus pass sorted out since my training is full time for a month and not work at the bar where i get paid weekly, I would have to give up the bar work for that month since I can’t be going to bed at 5am to get up at 7am to go to work, I get paid weekly from the bar so I wont have anything for a month while I’m training.
I’m really just concentrating on the negative here because that’s what being pulled out of my comfort zone does to me, I have to prepare for all the bad shit first so anything else is a bonus.
I don’t want to let my parents down either, the first time I heard my dad say he was proud of me was when i got this job so i’ll be a total disappointment if i fail at this, plus it’s something I’ve done myself so I’ve set myself up for this and i’ll only have myself to blame if it doesn’t go well.
I suppose I won’t know until I go there, I’m almost tempted to tell everyone I didn’t pass the screening process because of the grievances I put in about previous work colleagues and employers, hat’ll put the onus onto someone else and it’ll be out of my control.
I feel better knowing I could do that and be able to brush it off like I’m being all grown up and nonchalant about it when really I’m relieved that I don’t have to go through all those motions again, and I feel better typing it out on this blog too, I hope this can serve as an insight to a somewhat unstable mind so other people can relate and one day people who can’t relate might understand.
