Soulmates aren't just lovers you know

helloooo, I'm Smoozie and I'm super indecisive so everything here is changing all the time

[smoozie]

Everyday I wake up, look in the mirror, and decide on a different Scar ship to make my entire personality

[consulships]

i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls

[literaryreference]

Time to take this post entirely too seriously:

I often wonder if this is why you so commonly see the sentiment that we are in an era of uniquely bad literature, or at least that the fact that most books don't have artistic aspirations and are not aiming to be anything other than mindless entertainment is new. In fact what's new is the idea that everything is worth preserving (and also the internet making it easier to preserve it). The dumb artistically unambitious trash books of the past have survived only sporadically, because people thought of them as literally disposable.

When I was in college I had a professor who was an expert on detective fiction. He had a longstanding beef with the idea that "Murders in the Rue Morgue" was the first detective story. He thought that it seemed way too polished to be inventing a new genre, and also that the whole orangutan business had the vibe of someone subverting preexisting audience expectations and maybe engaging in a bit of stealth parody. With the help of some student volunteers, he went trawling through old magazines and newspapers and found hundreds of detective stories from the early 1800s that just hadn't garnered enough individual attention to be remembered. This was because most of them sucked balls. He created an online archive of them, so you too can read these mostly terrible stories.

[tricky-pockets]

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time on Project Gutenberg sifting through forgotten old fiction and lemme tell ya. a lot of that stuff sucks ass.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Tremendously comforting, really.

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

Birds are basically the dinosaurs that managed to “nooo you wouldn’t hurt a cute little baby guy on his birthday” their way out of a mass extinction

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

Alternatively, birds:

(Asteriornis art by Phillip Krzeminski)

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

[homeofhousechickens]

[dramatic-dolphin]

since there is such an "english speakers who don't even try to pronounce a foreign mame correctly" epidemic, native english speakers often try to overcorrect and end up thinking they have a moral imperative to pronounce every foreign name correctly at all times. so i'm gonna hold your hand and look into your eyss as i say this: you can't. you can't pronounce every sound in a language you don't speak. and that's fine. it happens to the rest of us too. we won't be mad so long as you try your best.

[apricops]

“I did some research to pronounce this name correctly” = 👍 great! even if the pronunciation was still off (and learning to pronounce a foreign language correctly takes a lot of practice) people generally appreciate it when someone goes the extra mile for accuracy, and honestly, languages are cool

“I’m probably not saying that correctly”/“sorry for my pronunciation” = 👍 understandable! foreign languages often have sounds that aren’t used in English and learning to correctly pronounce unfamiliar phonemes is genuinely difficult even with help

“lol I’m not even gonna TRY to pronounce that 😂” = 👎 THIS is the problem, if treats languages other than English like they are inherently ‘weird’ or ‘overly complicated’ just because you aren’t familiar with them

“One thousand apologies for my butchering of this beautiful effervescent tongue, I will now flagellate myself as punishment for my crimes” = 👎 chill

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[kotortwo]

oh that gap in my resume? i was imprisoned by the lizard king for a few years, it was a whole thing. big misunderstanding, completely exonerated. but that ties into the next item on the list, 2 years as consort to the lizard king. that was actually a volunteer situation

[sir-poltergeist]

teachers

[captain-price-returns]

I don't know if full on execution is proper justice, but at least they did something.

[captain-price-returns]

oh no they’re going to start calling democrats the same thing they’ve been calling democrats for 20 years now

[r0zeclawz]

reading dnis is a great way to learn words that no one has ever used and might not even be real

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

anti abortion propaganda that tries to like scare you into feeling guilty by reminding you that the fetus has body parts are so funny. "uwu please don't abort me I have eyes at 4 weeks old 🥺" nice try sucker I don't care if you see it coming

[speedlimit15]

Alright i'll never complain about anything my neighbors do ever again

[andchaos]

Book Grace: This is all so cool! I am the first person to make contact with an alien. And then kill said alien. And then breed said alien. And then make contact with another intelligent alien species. And we can communicate. And we are working together! And I know its the end of the world and this probably isn't the time to be nerding out but, dang it! This is cool!! I just really love science!!!

Movie Grace: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! EVERYTHING IS TRYING TO KILL ME! I'M GOING TO DIE! Okay never mind. This alien guy is chill. Also I just really love science!!!

[elbiotipo]

we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

[elbiotipo]

Branson Reese, whoever you are, I keep your words in my heart all the time.

[kaijuerotica]

"branson reese, whoever you are" put some respect on the smooth sharks one fear man's name

[warmleveret-deactivated20170910]

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

[nenchaenmoved-blog]

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

[re-bee-key]

you had to be there

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af

i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience

say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!

[l0rdgumby]

PSA the "si" in shared YouTube links stand for Seal Indicator. This means there is a nefarious seal tracking your information and will give YouTube your data in exchange for fish. Please remove the part after "?si=" before you click on it or share the link with others because it is a tracking token!

[winterweary]

This is true of any url! You can delete everything agher the ? when you share a url and it will delete all the tracking bits.

[glenthemes]

would like to add that the stuff after ? isn't always a tracking token, sometimes it contains important info for the link to actually work (e.g. it could contain the video ID). however, try opening a link without the ? string; if it works then there's no harm in getting rid of it 🦭👌