“No way that screaming sheep gots himself a pretty lass,” John mumbles, his eyes on the paper as he scribbles random things that Simon could care less about.
“Way,” Simon replied bluntly, staring at his captain with a dead expression behind that mask. “Screamin’ ‘is head off, on ‘n on about a lass who: ‘knows how to throw me around’. Not quite sure what that means.”
Finally, John slowly looks up from his paperwork and furrowed his brows, “…what?” he asks, tossing his pen onto the paper and lets out a surprised scoff, leaning against his seat. He stares at his teammate with his eyebrows completely raised now. Simon glanced at his brows, counting the wrinkles on his forehead. Was there a new one?
Never in the forty-plus years that John has been alive, that he’d ever think Johnny MacTavish found himself with someone who he could settle down with. Much rather, screaming at the top of his lungs about.
And… There he was— blabbering on about his new love in the mess hall while John and Simon stood at the door, watching in awe as he talks Kyle’s ear off. “Bites like a dog, hits like L.T!” Johnny says, slapping the table with a grin.
John blinked in confusion then looked over at Simon who was still watching the scene unfold.
“I’m right where I wanna be, Gaz! Wee bit aggressive when drunk but who isn’t!” Johnny continues, followed by a dramatic, loving sigh.
The talks go on for months. Random English words combined that made no sense— some concerning, others confusing. Talked about how you can “throw him down” and “he’s right where he wants to be”.
They were concerned. Because the more Johnny spoke about you, the more it sounded like just straight manipulation and abuse. Kyle spoke to him first. Asked him quietly if “he’s ever been hit” by you. To which, Johnny looks at him in bewilderment and asks him why he says that…
Before the question Kyle asked, Johnny said (in verbatim) “bonnie almos’ pummeled me las’ night cos I was wearing ‘er favorite shirt out”.
The next was John. After one evening, he had overheard Johnny telling Laswell that he “had to make it up to the missus because he left his boots by the door and had ta’ get’a spanking.”
The last to ask was Simon. Of course, the quiet and gruff man didn’t care that his fellow teammate and friend was in a relationship. Quite frankly, he forgot. That was, until Johnny expressed that his back was hurting from you kneeing him repeatedly.
They wanted and planned to have a sit-down conversation with their friend. Wanted to express how relationships don’t work that way.
That was, until they had met you. A sweet, pretty thing with the warmest smile as you gave them a little gift basket for returning Johnny safely from the most recent Op.
They soon learned that the shirt incident? Pure nasty sex because you loved seeing Johnny in that shirt. Kyle cut that conversation short the moment he saw how red your face got when you tried to explain without saying too much.
The boots that got tripped on? You had tripped on them and dirt flew everywhere on the floor. You had to spank the boots (not Johnny) till there wasn’t any more gravel or dirt on it, while (kindly) lecturing Johnny about kicking his boots clean at the patio before entering.
And the back incident? You tried massaging Johnny’s back but your hands did you no justice— Johnny just loves a good, hard massage. Which resorted you to having to use your knees… His request.
“Cannae believe yah lot really think the lass lays a hand on me!” Johnny says in bewilderment while the other three watches as you go fetch them some water.
Simon snaps his attention over to Johnny and gives him a deadpanned look behind his balaclava, “you make it seem like she knocks y’round.”
Johnny shakes his head, “I dinnae ken where yer gettin’ this information from. All I’ve done was compliment the lass.”
The three don’t budge in their spot. They just stared at Johnny like he was the slowest man on Earth.
