Genderism : Face the Reality Already!
I had known someone who didn’t have a mother. His father raised him up. From his lunch-box, to his clothes, to his own job; his father did it all. Similarly, I have known a woman with an estranged husband, raised her three daughters, got a job, paid for them, suffered domestic violence and what not. Despite her timid behavior she was fierce for the sake of her children and in a world where raising one is difficult for a lower middle class family, she raised three strong girls single-handedly.
Now, should I compare these two and pit one against another in a pointless competition. They both faced difficulties, worked hard to fulfill their duties and had their prizes in the form of their children. Now, ask yourself how often do you come across stories and debates over the two genders and many a times the third one as well?
It upsets me to a great degree. I pick up my male friend for gym daily and drop him off and many-a-times even pay for him. I don’t ask for any gifts at all. Not in a zillion years do I imagine myself sitting idle, reveling in his fortunes. It does not make me less of a woman and it sure as hell does not make him less of a man.
My genitals are all that make me a female; not sarees or suits or lipsticks or bangles or vermilion or ghoonghat or acting unnaturally shy and timid when I am interviewed by the boy’s family. Similarly, the child I bear will not be his or mine; it will be ours. Don’t expect me to change my surname because I chose you as my life partner, neither will I do that to you.
In my 24-years of life, I have seen plenty of things: child labor, child marriage, untouchability, domestic violence victims, rapes etc.We all agree that these things can happen to any of the genders, right? Now, logically what I haven’t seen at large is the boy stopped from going to school because his sister’s education can only be afforded, a boy’s “vidai”, a boy wearing trinkets of various mannerisms to show he’s married, a boy’s morality judged by when he lost his virginity etc. Now, before you blow your lids off or ’feminazis’ claim me for their own, I am not saying that boys at large should go through all this but why not build a tomorrow where these things don’t compulsorily apply to the girls either. After all, many of you are also going to be parents to some girl, no?
I love history, they ring with lessons of exceptional caliber. I have only found that all the wars, conflicts, major debacles have been in the name of establishing supremacy implying greatness of their strength, technology, power, race and, in this case, gender. And even with a millenia worth of history behind us, we refuse to learn anything.
Ever learnt Venn diagrams back in high school? Now, take a universal set Humans. Distinguish them in male, female and transgenders. Make further classifications with handicapped, SC/ST, OBC, BPL, general, Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian and all the religions there are and try to get all the classifications in that universal set in every way in which we have segmented this society.
Sad, isn’t it? Not to mention, extremely messy. In making it organised and functional and being a champion for all, we have done none justice.
Why can’t we just throw away our egos and prejudices, not hurt others, debate to find a better solution instead of measuring the levels of 'who is the greater victim’ with respect to social groups, genders etc. Why is it so important to shut the other person up with childishly mean retorts in order to show ourselves as the greater victim? Why can’t we wipe away every teardrop and put a smile there instead? And how much more are we gonna fight instead of supporting and respecting each other and finding strengths in the things that make us different?
“Unity in diversity” isn’t that what makes us India and try to teach the world the same and just how many times more will we have to tear apart the nation due to the very same reason until we learn? Why can’t we see what we must see and look together towards a better tomorrow? Equality is not quite justice but sometimes equality in some aspects is the first step towards it not stated by laws but by the sculptures of mind.