sooooo how do we become Better Friends idk
Honestly I think it starts by each of us acknowledging the anxiety within our selves as being exactly that, within our selves and is not actually an open existence? &That the anxieties within ourselves are likely caused by the expectations of communication from negative past experiences and a society which we both sorta live on the fringes of in a lot of ways.
Since we’re only lowkey friends so far and I have some guilttrauma about being a nosy binch I don’t know you as well as I could just via snooping after all this time I am less good at this than usual but I think specifically between us its some things like:
I already have this longterm respect&appreciation for you that makes me reflect first on myself if we encounter an issue or miscommunication between us bc I value your existence & our connection way more than ‘being right’.
I’m coming from a super sheltered youth so have a lot of earnest curiosity about everything, literally every thing. If you think it’s worth talking about i probably think it’s worth listening to tenfold. Except maths. Sorry but i’m gay.
There is no proper frequency with which we need to talk to maintain friendship. Any absence or non response is not directly reflective of how important someone considers you. Communication takes a real energy and that energy can be drained, causing real consequences if depleted. There’s a boundary there that takes a lot of practice to identify; if we’re midconvo and it turns out you didn’t actually have the energy to chat you can bounce bc taking care of yourself is the hottest new meme of 2018.
I usually check messages asap to screen for urgency and then respond when I have the time&spoons to make sense. If it takes more than 24hrs I’m probably busy getting my ass kicked by chronic illness. If it makes you less anxious I can tell you when I think I will have time to respond proper.
Navigating people can be hard but pretty much only if one party or the other is not willing to communicate vulnerably so if you’re ever uncertain or insecure about any thing you are fully allowed to inquire. Or disagree.
That being said i think we just like talk to each other more idkI hope that’s useful and not just verbose?!
