A little rant about "purity."
For context; I create a mixture of softcore & hardcore porn.
I find it interesting when some subscribers praise me for the softer content, saying "it's not vulgar like xyz."
Do we realize that this kind of comment is (likely) rooted in shame?
Is a creator less "respectable" because they show you their pussy? Is there a line we cross when we include penetration in our videos that just suddenly makes us "vulgar?" Or are these just the purity standards that we've been taught to uphold? What does purity actually PROVIDE?
Purity is like a shield- it protects us from shame & the judgmental eyes of others. They tell us it keeps us "safe" from the "wrong kind of attention," & yet, women are assaulted in their sweatpants. Purity is a scare tactic to keep us away from our sexual power & sovereignty.
"I love that you're not vulgar" feels like a "you're not like the other girls." Which is not the compliment you think it is! I will always be on the side of "other girls." Your comment shows me that you lose respect for women as soon as they are too "slutty" for your tastes.
If you're subscribing to an adult model, chances are- you're gonna see some adult content. Some of it will be explicit- & maybe that makes you uncomfortable. It's your job to recognize that in yourself- & your responsibility to figure out what to do with your own inner shame.
I've been on a very intentional journey for the last 5 years to release the shame I have around sexuality. I felt so much intense shame about my body that I would wear multiple sports bras to work & wanted nothing more than to get a breast reduction to be freed from judgement.
Now, I use the body I've been given in order to support myself & my family. I still have the shame, I experience it daily- but now I know that it isn't something that comes from within me. It is a result of years of conditioning that I now get to slowly undo for myself.
So please- don't push your standards of "purity" on to the creators you subscribe to. This isn't the case for everyone- but my porn is a way for me to let go of the shame I was socialized to have. And it's my intention for it to serve that purpose for my subscribers as well.
