clara coming up to bill like that… you go girl. while everyone’s done shit in their 20s, imagine if a dude tiger has refused to talk about because he brings up just too many scars, comes up to them. tigers feisty but this guy just scares the little 19 year old inside her and bill had just walked away so she was alone. maybe he says something wildly out of pocket or inappropriate. bill being good dude and sticking up for her, but even after she’s a bit shaken up and isn’t intimate for awhile.
Mmmm, I love this.
I feel like we all kind of have that one guy or girl that we never quite got over, you know? Whether it's because we had our heart broken, or things ended because that's just what things do sometimes. Maybe it's because we lack closure. Whatever it is, there always seems to be that one person in our lives that either still hurts to think about, or that spurns other unwanted feelings--yearning, loss, grief to a certain extent. For me, Heartbreak Boy was absolutely rooted and based on Photographer Dude. And while I have a much better hold on my feelings for Photographer Dude--he really is quite repulsive to me now--that doesn't mean that I still don't have an Achilles heel buried in somewhere deep. Don't get me wrong, Photographer Dude is an anti-vaxxer and strongly supported the truckers fucking idiotic, right-wing "Freedom Convoy" that took over our Capital for weeks and 99.999999% of the time, thinking of him repulses me.
But my resolve is shockingly less strong in person, and if I saw him in a bar when I was already one or two drinks in and he threw an offer on the table--I might still take it.
And it's because we're human. We're beautifully complex, and our selective memory is driven largely by our own loneliness, which can be all-consuming.
And listen, if this was the tiger BB--Before Bill--then she might have given in, and given up a whole lot. Whatever this guy threw at her, she might have accepted. But things are different after Bill--she wants for nothing. She's treated like a Queen. And she's head over heels, stupidly in love with a guy who is equally as in love with her. it's a wonderful thing.
But it doesn't mean that this guy doesn't incite a whole lot of other feelings in her. Hell, maybe it is Heartbreak Boy. And while tiger is in a real good place now, maybe this guy did a real number on her and those things are very hard to forget. Instead of the lusty, longing feelings clouding her vision, it's feeling of inadequacy, of hurt, of vulnerability that she is SO not okay with showing to this guy.
And like, tiger has had her heart broken before. And maybe some of those guys, she's on pleasant terms with--time can sometimes heal wounds--and if she sees them out, they exchange a pleasant hello, some other courtesies. There are some guys that maybe incite fucking rage in her and if she sees them out, Bill has to drag her away as she's taking off her earrings and rolling up her shirt sleeves.
But this guy is the only guy that literally makes tiger want to disappear. She sees him, and her mind just...it goes fucking blank. It's a void. And all she can do is stare.
Maybe she's meeting Bill after work for a quick drink--he has plans with the guys tonight in the area, and he headed in a bit early to just meet her after work for an hour. But tiger made it there before him, and she's standing at the bar having just ordered a dirty vodka martini for her and a glass of scotch for Bill.
And somehow, by some fucked up twist of fate, Heartbreak Boy is there. And this dude? He's a messed up, malicious motherfucker. He could leave her be. He could leave her in peace.
But peace is beyond him. So instead, he goes up to her. Leans on the bar right in front of her, and oozes a fucking creepy, Cheshire Cat smile.
Tiger isn't sure if she wants to pass out, vomit, punch him--or all three. but instead, she's caught so completely off guard that she just....stares.
And this guy? this guy's a fucking predator. So as the fear and loathing oozes off tiger, he just sucks it all up and feels even more empowered.
"Hey there," he smiles, "Kid."
Tiger feels the bile rise in her throat.
"Leave me alone," she says, but her voice shakes and cracks, and it was too meek to even begin with. Her neck breaks out in a cold sweat, her hands start to shake and her legs turn to jello. She can feel the harsh sting of tears in her eyes already, and she just wants to portal the sweet fuck out of there.
"What was that?" the guy asks, like the asshole he is. "I couldn't hear you."
Tiger is shaking like a leaf, and her mind just goes blank. She has such tunnel vision--staring at this leering motherfucker--that she doesn't even see Bill walk in the door. And Bill's usually a pretty happy, jovial dude, so he walks in with a smile on his face ready to have a little happy hour drink with his favourite girl. His eyes scan the crowd, and when they land on her--oh man.
Bill goes from jovial to alpha male real fucking quick.
And maybe he doesn't even register who is standing in front of her, at first. Maybe he's just reading her body language and every single protective fibre in him starts fucking sounding the siren. Tiger's shoulders are hunched, she looks scared, she looks uncomfortable. That's enough to get the alpha male in him RAGING and he starts taking big steps towards her.
But then he sees it--the guy in front of her--and for as much as tiger's mind blacked out with fear and loathing, Bill's blacked out with sheer fucking rage. And in a half a second, he's behind the dude and tiger's whole face sags in relief.
"You have three seconds to get the fuck out of her face," he snarls, "And even less to get the fuck out of mine."
The guy's a little surprised, and tiger catches his cocky smirk before he turns. But like, here's the thing. Bill is an intimidating presence. He is tall as shit, and he's broad. And he has kind of a weird, psycho face when it's neutral--but when his features are contorted with rage, and his jaw is clenched tight in anger?
Bill is fucking terrifying.
And maybe this guy forgot just how tall Bill was, or maybe he only really knew him in Bill's lanky stage. But he turns, and Bill's ego inflates three sizes when the guy has to noticeably adjust his eyeline further up. The top of his head barely reaches Bill's shoulder.
"Easy there pal," the guy tries to be aloof but it comes out as sarcastic, "Just having a nice catch up chat."
"One," Bill counts, and god if looks could kill, tiger's sure this guy would have dropped dead already. She's never seen Bill look so terrifying.
The guy chuckles but it doesn't sound convincing.
"Really, you're going to do this here? In public?" the guy asks. But he also doesn't sound convinced of that--he somewhat remembers how protective Bill was of tiger then, and this guy has no idea how much their dynamic has changed in a few years. Suddenly he's not so sure.
"Two," Bill snarls, and he takes a step forward. That's all it takes, just one well placed, threatening step forward into this guy's space. Bill is towering, and he's angry. The guy plunks his half-finished beer on the table.
"Fuck this," he scoffs, "And fuck you."
But he leaves. He almost runs out. Bill is seething, but tiger is still just so overwhelmed by everything that she squeezes her eyes tight as a few tears threaten to escape. Bill takes a calming breath, the anger still pouring off him in waves, but he tries to get it in check.
"Tiger," he says softly. She sniffles, shakes her head and takes in a wheezing breath.
"I'm parked right out front," he says soothingly, and he puts a grounding hand on her cheek, "Come on."
He plunks a $50 on the bar top, puts his arm around her, and guides her out. He helps her into the car and drives somewhere more secluded--tiger is wheezing, her eyes still squeezed tight, and Bill pops the glove compartment and reaches for her inhaler.
"Deep breath," he coaxes, and presses it to her lips. He pumps in two shots in time with her breath, and then unbuckles her seatbelt.
"Come sit with me in the back sweet girl," he says.
And listen, Bill is the jealous type but he's not stupid. He knows she's not reacting like this because of any lingering feelings for the dude--just that she was caught off guard by someone she genuinely never wanted to see again. And she goes from overwhelmed to fucking angry to downright livid, wanting to find the guy to beat the absolute shit out of him now that her mind has cleared. Bill probably has to cancel his night because she's a complete mess, but you know, I'll bet it goes beyond just that night.
I'll bet tiger starts to just get really small on him, wanting to be taken care of, wanting the reassurance and the comfort of knowing that she's just so much better now, you know? She's with someone and she feels valued, she feels loved, she feels safe. It's an addictive feeling that she can't get enough of, for weeks.
Oh my soff heart, :*-)
