things I am presently struggling with:
- things cost so much money
- do I really deserve nice things or stuff that makes me happy when I can’t work and I’m disabled and barely contribute anything to anyone I live with
- I missed my last physical therapy appointment and haven’t called them back because there’s a $40 missed appointment fee that I can’t pay
- I need a dog so badly but HOW, there is basically no way for it to be feasible honestly like they require stuff every month and that’s MONEY and I don’t know if I can do that but also I NEED a dog
- the memory thing continues to plague me today
- I said earlier I didn’t want to commit to a Pokemon-based D&D game some people I know were doing because I am already in a different sort of D&D game and hopefully going to be in a traditional D&D game with some other people in the future, and I thought that was over-committing my time, but really, what do I ever do?? what am I doing that takes up so much of my time and energy??? nothing! nothing, that’s what! I don’t even have normal therapy right now and at this rate I might not have physical therapy either, I hardly ever leave the house, and the other game only plays intermittently!
- basically I feel like because I am not working and I’m not doing things every day all the time, I shouldn’t be saying I don’t have the time or energy to commit to things, and how very dare I believe that I’m already doing enough things in any area to justify such a refusal to commit
- but at the same time, I’m disabled, I tire easily, I’m depressed a lot, I sleep so much, and I did things three days out of the past week because I HAD to and then that was WHY I missed my physical therapy appointment! because I was so worn out I SLEPT THROUGH IT!
- struggling to feel Clean. I might shower. I think this would likely be a waste because I showered very recently but also UGH I CAN’T SHAKE THE FEELING OF BEING GROSS
