Apr 18, 2023
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Get into thiiiiis. 🍵🥄 . Watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy yesterday for the first time. Cried my eyes out. Decided to show my man how much I appreciate him. Had some candles 🕯 going, made some fluffy ass blueberry pancakes, and decided to make virgin sangria (he don't drink). It was a hit. Used seltzer water or as we call it "fizzy ass water" + added red 🍷 to mine. . Anyway, feeling like a hippo 🦛 giving birth today and can't wait to start taking BCP again cuz my cramps leave me in tears. 😨Today is my final free week before starting my new job. I'm glad I took a week between jobs (no PTO for first year). I was scared I'd fall back into depression with nothing to keep me busy. I did end up taking some shifts at the museum of art (but it doesn't feel like work because I enjoy it so much). It was very hard to do but a few things that kept me centered were: ✔️making plans with friends I hadn't seen in a while ✔️going to the gym 3x (gonna try to see if I can eventually get there 6am since my new start time for work is 8am) but I didn't pressure myself to try that out this week. ✔️celebrating what I did in a day no matter what it was (like vingingg Charmed an Queer Eye) ✔️eating food I love/never treat myself to... I ordered a lobster and shrimp pasta dish + peach cobbler from my favorite restaurant ✔️reading for 15-30 minutes before bed to help transition ✔️Bae asked what I wanted to do this weekend to round out the week of celebrating and showing up for myself. I said let's go to Pittsburgh. So that's happening . Am I doing life right? Idk. But I'm glad I didn't stew in doubt and anxiety. I definitely experienced them even with things being "steady" (I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop it using my breath). But I'm glad I let go a little bit and embraced the long AF journey. Stay tuned betches. K. Bye. #softandbrave #queereye #charmediswhitewashedAF #wine https://www.instagram.com/softandbrave/p/BwLK-nNnK1b/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vnwll0ent1da
2 of 4 #softandbrave #failureisntfinal #adversity #deprssion #friends #networking #gpa #abusiverelationships #doodle #adhd #therapy #onedayatatime #college #atob #lifehappens #anxiety #emotionalabuse #gaslighting https://www.instagram.com/softandbrave/p/BwCw7kKjpLn/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8oj5sie0rpts
1 of 4 #softandbrave https://www.instagram.com/softandbrave/p/BwCr835D_bA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ndyg243qo5nb
Love this sentiment. Apparently I need constant reminding of it. (Fun 🙋🏾♀️ fact: When my anxiety/panic mode hits, I am not patient and want everything to feel good at all times.) 😭 Remember: most things suck at some point. #softandbrave #patience #shithappens #itsgonnasuck #thistooahallpass #itgetsbetter #momentarysuckiness 📸 via @sofunstudio https://www.instagram.com/p/BueWKqzDwe7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bjj9lx2k27gu
#softandbrave https://www.instagram.com/p/BuOl2S7DFn-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ti39sa3tbr7l
Spotted: on the 51 bus line leaving downtown—#cardi #cardiana #softandbrave #bethatbitch (at Downtown Cleveland) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuKB4zQDyt_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1o8myqgrdknaa
Pulled out my “Mother In Law’s Tongue” Snake plant I was told was hard to kill. She was dying. Realized I stuck her in a hallway, overwatered her, placed her in a corner that got maybe an hour of indirect sunlight a day, watered her so her leaves were moist and eventually starting to rot. Didn’t take the time to touch her soil, see what she needed, rotate her, see where in the house she got the right amount of sun. I used to celebrate her. I used to put her on display: Queen Dame Beast. She was the shit. I brought her closer last week. Looked up a few things she liked. What she didn’t like. Changed my attitude towards her. Can you believe I almost gave her to someone else to take care of? I just assumed I didn’t know how to give her what she needed, what she deserved. We’re still new to each other. Still learning each other’s cycles: What makes us dead inside? What keeps us strong? What comes naturally to us? Just being a lot kinder to each other. Communicating always. Knowing there’s another that needs us, always. #spontaneouspoetry #noedits #poetry #softandbrave #motherinlawstongue #snakeplant #blackgirlswithgardens @blackgirlswithgardens #topofthedome https://www.instagram.com/p/BtwviQpj9ov/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=di1szhsqbnrr