Soft and Brave

soft in spirit, brave at heart

[dark-romantics]

Read, read, read. Read everything -- trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window.

~ William Faulkner

[softandbrave]

What’s A Girl To Do?

What's a girl to do? #recesstherapy #shortsfeed

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[softandbrave]

Artist

Written by Vidyan Ravinthiran

Read by Pádraig Ó Tuama

When you were young you’d draw and paint.

Then your brother said all you could do

was copy down what was in front of you.

So you stopped. Sometimes you start again.

He’s bought you watercolours. He is a saint

but what’s done is done. I don’t,

for more than a rearriving moment,

understand. For his role in your family was mine

in mine. How could I never learn,

till watching you, what sketching means:

touching with your eyes what has been given

again, and again, and again. It’s the way you were raised.

The way you were erased. But I envy your line

that self-forgetful vigilance – its hesitation, even.

[softandbrave]

August 12,2023

Big DEPRESSION and PMDD stuff going on. I’ve honestly felt like giving up this week. Even while driving which is scary to admit.

En route to a yoga class today, I listened to Life Kit podcast episode about playing as an adult. I didn’t go to yoga class. I bought probably only 2 gallons of gas—enough to get home but not enough to change my car from telling me I need to fill up.

I programmed one of my three GPS apps to take me to one of my favorite grassy spots in the area. Halfway to my destination and in one of the multiple “hearts” of the city—my heart fluttered and began to race. I was less than a minute drive from one of my favorite places in Cleveland: the Cleveland Museum of Art.

For many, ther Museum is one of the most exquisite and beautiful spaces in the city. For me, it was a home away from home, and much like yoga and hiking and doodling and

Here were some thoughts I had:

I miss playing and being whimsically and unapologetically me.

I was pretty big on solo/quiet play as a child.

I loved to discover.

I used to say that my main hobby was THINKING (and I suppose questioning what’s accepted as truth or real) Lol

My heart breaks thinking of how much I miss working with or on behalf of children.

I hate feeling like I must be productive or prioritize and mostly do what brings me accomplishments.

I love learning, I love creating, I love dialogue. I hate learning under pressure, I hate creating for profit or mere accomplishment. I hate arguing.

Yoga, like hiking and writing has become something I’ve begun to see through the lens of productivity and “doing enough”.

Am I going to enough yoga classes to accomplish my target goals of my YOGA TEACHER TRAINING?

I’m definitely enjoying yoga less. I’m definitely doing it less. I’m enjoying it more when it is spontaneous or feels like I need yoga to breathe and be rooted in something more me than my own flesh and bones.

I definitely miss yoga. I definitely miss hiking before I called it hiking. Back when I’d make hand drawn maps of the 1 mile by .25 mile area around my home. I miss getting lost and taking the time to find my way home. I miss meditation before I knew what meditation was. I miss following my nose before I needed a watch to track my steps. I even miss weight-lifting before I needed to track my Planet Fitness visits. I miss smiling at the sun without ensuring I put on the tinted moisturizer that has SPF in it.

‎Life Kit: Health: Bring more play into your life on Apple Podcasts

‎Show Life Kit: Health, Ep Bring more play into your life - Jul 26, 2023

[softandbrave]

Freewrite

Idea of middle school and up, teachers: Your favorite rapper's favorite rapper. Rap family tree. Combing through interviews of rappers and highlighting their favorite rappers. See if they have similar styles, if they have name dropped them, how they pay homage to them in their music, and how they emulate them in ways outside of music.

Worried about Air Quality and Allergies

Air filter on windows (measure windows)

MERV 13 filter for box fan

Clean and replace AC filter

Things to Trash

bedside table

canned foods from Bedford House

Cat litter

trash bag in kitchen and bathroom

Work

QuickBooks Reconciliation to date

Let staff know about masks/top mailing drawer

Backup files to cloud

Mileage tracking

USPS receipts

Other receipts

Meet criticism, disparagement, ridicule, and ego with grace and steadfastness in my purpose and work objectives.

[softandbrave]

March (Session 2) Breakdown

YOGA SUTRAS

Intro, Summary - Yoga Sutras 101 - Yoga Sutras - 8 Limbs of Yoga Visual/Audio - 8 Limbs - Yoga Sutras Part 1 - Who is Patanjali and What is Yoga?

TAO TE CHING

Intro, Summary - Tao Te Chind Summary and Videos - Tao Te Ching Text by Stephen Mitchell (1988) Visual/Audio - Animated Summary of Tao Te Ching

[softandbrave]

March (2) Homework

Homework reading:

Yoga Sutras Book 2,

Tao Te Ching, 11-27,

anatomy books for reference: Yoga Anatomy (Kaminoff) & Your Body Your Yoga (Clark),

Y&N chapter on aparigraha,

Begin reading Breath and Emergent Strategy

Homework viewing: Bernie video (https://youtu.be/lElJ0JHSpjw), Integral anatomy intensive videos 3 & 4 (see link above)

Homework writing:

choose your favorite Yoga Sutra and chapter of the Tao Te Ching so far, and

record some musings, either in a voice recording, or in written word.

Make a voice recording of you leading either surya bhedana or nadi shodhana.

Practice

Practice nadi shodhana or surya bhedana as often as possible. Attend yoga classes as often as possible.

[crimson-kas]

I had so much fun decorating my weekly reflection pages with stickers from SlowlyWarmCo on Etsy. What a relaxing way to sit down and reflect before putting pen to paper.

[softandbrave]

[crimson-kas]

I had so much fun decorating my weekly reflection pages with stickers from SlowlyWarmCo on Etsy. What a relaxing way to sit down and reflect before putting pen to paper.

[softandbrave]

Return to tumblr.

Sunset.

Outside Time. 

CBD in my coffee. 

RnB.

Group Therapy. 

Good morning.

[explore-blog]

Adam Gopnik’s beautiful love letter to winter – an ardent case for the splendors of the cold season

[softandbrave]

Scheduling my Peace and Joy for the last couple years has been IMPERATIVE to preparing myself for my calling and reminding myself to care for myself. added " Go Lay Down Somewhere" in honor of @thenapministry https://www.instagram.com/p/CZHvGj9OIna/?utm_medium=tumblr

[softandbrave]

[softandbrave]

Get into thiiiiis. 🍵🥄⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy yesterday for the first time. Cried my eyes out. Decided to show my man how much I appreciate him. Had some candles 🕯 going, made some fluffy ass blueberry pancakes, and decided to make virgin sangria (he don't drink). It was a hit. Used seltzer water or as we call it "fizzy ass water" + added red 🍷 to mine.⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ Anyway, feeling like a hippo 🦛 giving birth today and can't wait to start taking BCP again cuz my cramps leave me in tears. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 😨Today is my final free week before starting my new job. I'm glad I took a week between jobs (no PTO for first year). I was scared I'd fall back into depression with nothing to keep me busy. I did end up taking some shifts at the museum of art (but it doesn't feel like work because I enjoy it so much). It was very hard to do but a few things that kept me centered were:⁣⁣ ✔️making plans with friends I hadn't seen in a while⁣⁣ ✔️going to the gym 3x (gonna try to see if I can eventually get there 6am since my new start time for work is 8am) but I didn't pressure myself to try that out this week. ⁣⁣ ✔️celebrating what I did in a day no matter what it was (like vingingg Charmed an Queer Eye)⁣⁣ ✔️eating food I love/never treat myself to... I ordered a lobster and shrimp pasta dish + peach cobbler from my favorite restaurant ⁣⁣ ✔️reading for 15-30 minutes before bed to help transition ⁣⁣ ✔️Bae asked what I wanted to do this weekend to round out the week of celebrating and showing up for myself. I said let's go to Pittsburgh. So that's happening⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ . ⁣⁣ Am I doing life right? Idk. But I'm glad I didn't stew in doubt and anxiety. I definitely experienced them even with things being "steady" (I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop it using my breath). But I'm glad I let go a little bit and embraced the long AF journey.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Stay tuned betches.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ K. Bye.⁣ ⁣ #softandbrave #queereye #charmediswhitewashedAF #wine https://www.instagram.com/softandbrave/p/BwLK-nNnK1b/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vnwll0ent1da

[softandbrave]

4 of 4. #mayaangelou #poetry #believeinyourself #catastrophizing #cbt #psychotherapy #gethelp #womxn #queerpoc #queer #fear #youdeservethis #career #rememberyourwhy #perspective #softandbrave #failureisntfinal #adversity #deprssion #friends #networking #gpa #abusiverelationships #doodle #adhd #therapy #onedayatatime #college #lifehappens #anxiety https://www.instagram.com/softandbrave/p/BwDIKq3jSYA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3b28dmodot2

[softandbrave]

3 of 4 #youdeservethis #career #slp2b #specialneedscareers #childcare #rememberyourwhy #perspective #softandbrave #failureisntfinal #adversity #deprssion #friends #networking #gpa #abusiverelationships #doodle #adhd #therapy #onedayatatime #college #slplife #slpmajor #lifehappens #anxiety #emotionalabuse #gaslighting https://www.instagram.com/softandbrave/p/BwC0emZDJGR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1czq9fojuowrg