synopsis : wherein sohee keeps fumbling his chances of confessing to you. until the unexpected happened.
genre : high school au , childhood friends to lovers , mutual pining , oblivious idiots in love
warnings : swearing , fluff , angst ? ( if you squint ) , miscommunication
sohee knew his feelings for you were legit when he felt as if time had stopped walking into his scattered room seeing you sleeping on his desk.
he lowered his backpack slowly, taking in the sight of you. the way you positioned yourself, with only the left side of your face shown, arms tucked beneath it, the way strands of your hair flew gently from his open window, how your mouth was slightly agape, and the way your textbooks and papers were scattered everywhere on his desk.
there were zero coherent thoughts in his mind but all he can sum up is that he wanted you more as a friend.
“huh?” you stop trying to open the bag of chips in your hands and look up at your friend. ningning nodded in the direction behind you, prompting you to turn and catch sohee’s gaze directly on you.
from across the big field, he was sitting on the stoned bleachers, beside him was his friend. you smiled and raised a hand, waving at him.
you whipped your head back around and instantly groaned, “wipe that smirk off your face.” you read ningning’s expression to which she laughed.
“everyone knows he likes you except you,” she convinced, “—so stop being in denial.”
you shake your head, “if it’s true, why hasn’t he said anything? i mean, if he wanted to he would right?”
ningning looked at you apologetically and huffed, “i’m telling you, he will soon.” you nodded, though her words aren’t as believable as you hope.
you’ve liked sohee for as long as you can remember and oh boy. the mixed signals he gives drives you absolutely crazy because the amount of times he bought you food, stayed up phoning you, and rejected every girl who showed interest. hell he even held your hand.
… yet, he also vigorously denies every rumour about how you’re his girlfriend, and he never once said that maybe—just maybe something could happen between you two. it’s as if dating you was the end of the world for him.
therefore, hearing people claiming that he reciprocated those feelings never appealed to you because they don’t see how confusing he can be.
“remind me how long has it been now?” anton eyed his best friend who’s clearly in his own world, his attention on your back who’s mindlessly chatting with your friend.
“huh?” sohee naively said, still not returning eye contact, “since you’ve liked y/n, dumbass.” the mention of your name made him turn his head immediately. his antics made anton laugh, “oh, you’re so pathetically in love.”
“man shut up,” sohee let out a faint chuckle before nudging the younger boy, “since 8th grade.” he answered the previous question, his tone slightly down.
“4 years?” anton basically yelled out, earning a quick shh! from sohee, “and you’ve never made the effort to confess?”
“is this your way of pissing me off?”
“my bad. i’m just tired of seeing my best friend being lovesick and not doing anything about it.”
sohee looked at him, letting the words sink in. “look,” anton began after acknowledging his silence, “it’s senior year, what do you have to lose anyway?”
“hm, maybe years' worth of friendship?” his answer was immediate and laced with sarcasm. anton threw his head back in frustration, “would you rather bottle it up and see her with another guy, or confess how you feel and have the chance of her liking you back?”
sohee hated that anton’s point was valid. it will be just as bad seeing you with some guy (who probably doesn’t deserve you) while his feelings for you still lingers. he never thought about how it’s a 50/50 chance you’ll reciprocate his feelings, but that thought alone gave him the motivation to confess.
“can we change the topic?”
“remember, it’s your choice man”
sohee sighed and turned his head back to you.
sohee had finally made the decision to confess to you. only with a ridiculous amount of convincing from anton and daily affirmations to boost his will (anton recommended this tactic).
the weekend rolled up fast and sohee had arranged plans to have lunch with you. his idea is: first, eat. second, maybe joke around for a little bit, then get serious and confess! he’s got this. right?
wrong. the day was a complete bust because stupidly enough, his nerves took over. just seeing you sitting prettily in front of him, waiting eagerly for what he’s about to spit out, which in his mind, what comes next could potentially ruin the special bond you guys shared. it all made him feel pressured so by the end, he couldn’t physically bring himself to confess his undying feelings for you.
“…the burger we’re having.”
sohee grimaced at the scene replaying for the nth time in his mind. thinking about it was seriously causing him sleep deprivation that night.
even after he mentally beat himself thousands of times for biting back his tongue, he was still driven to confess his feelings. he forced himself to sleep in the hopes of succeeding at school the next day.
“you’ve gotta be shitting me.” was muffled under sohee’s breath as he carefully peered through your classroom window.
you were seen sitting legs crossed on your chair, chatting with some boy. sohee’s eyebrows furrowed after noticing you threw your head back, releasing fits of laughter. his gaze switched to the boy, seeing him plaster on a smug grin. the sight was horrific.
in his hand was your favourite drink he intentionally bought to give you, though it’s clear his plan got interrupted by this idiotic guy in front of you.
he gripped the small plastic bottle out of annoyance while raising his other hand to loosen up his already dishevelled tie, hoping to lessen the stuffy atmosphere he feels inside.
the boy leaned closer to you and whispered into your ear. watching the scene unfold evoked something in him. remembering anton’s words he decided to seize the moment. he heads to the door and slides it open. he called your name, causing heads to turn, “could you come out for a second?”
your face was overtaken by confusion, turning to your classmate and muttering something along the lines of i’ll be back before jogging to sohee.
sohee gulped. all of his confidence had been suddenly washed away simply by your presence.
“yeah, i uh…” spit it out sohee! spit it out!
“..i got you your strawberry milk.” well shit. he dragged you all the way out of your class, only to chicken out and swerve his words.
you looked down to his hand, a smile appearing on your face promptly, “aw, thanks dork.”
sohee returned the smile and you started walking, him following suit.
“i’m gonna miss this.” you jerked your head up to the taller boy, “miss what?” you took a sip of the drink before gesturing at the space of the school to the space between you two, “just.. everything.” you sighed, “worrying about tests, walking carelessly in the halls with you, stopping by the snack bar, wearing these stupid uniforms.”
“damn y/n, why so melancholic?” sohee teased, momentarily wincing a second later when you punched his shoulder, “well it is our last year of high school so it just feels very bittersweet.” your voice lowering towards the end of the sentence.
“i get what you mean,” sohee pushed his hands in his pant pockets, “but,” he stopped in his tracks waiting for you to turn around, “life goes on.”
you gave him a nod following a smile and gently waved your hand signalling to keep walking.
the sounds of your slides clicking on the marble floor and faint chatter from students accompanied you and sohee as you two kept walking, exchanging nothing but peaceful silence. although he’d steal glances at you from time to time.
“oh right, i’ll be coming over by the way. your mom wanted me to study with you.” you notified the boy, “what? that means more studying after my private lessons?” his whining voice caused you to chuckle, “unfortunately. sorry about that man.”
“and stop pouting, you’re not cute.” you added.
it was 8:30pm. struggling to keep himself awake, sohee flung his bedroom door open, just wanting nothing but sleep.
until he saw you. there you were again, sleeping peacefully on his desk in the same exact position. he silently let out a bitter chuckle when he noticed the textbooks and notebooks flooding his desk. it was like seeing you for the first time again, reminding him how you’re such a great addition to his life.
he made his way to the vacant chair beside you, his footsteps as quiet as possible and sat down.
sohee adjusted himself to the same position as you. he was quick to smile seeing how your cheeks puffed up from the way you were lying down. in a hesitant manner, he reached out a hand to brush away the strand of hair covering your face, grazing your skin along the way.
“i like you so much idiot.”
it felt so relieving to say it to your face even if you couldn’t hear it. or at least that’s what he thought.
a pang of regret settled in after he watched your eyes slowly flutter open. you stared at him with a blank expression. is this the moment when he’s about to get told off? he was never scared of rejection until now.
now he was really confused. about time? he wasted no time whipping his head back up and you did the same.
“you weren’t sleeping..” he blurted, coming off like he’s talking to himself but you nodded for an answer, “idiot, i really like you as well.”
hearing that sentence made sohee unable to tame his smile. he beamed at you with his rosy cheeks on display.
“fuck, i would’ve done this a long time ago if i knew you felt the same way.” he confessed but your face dropped, “i was being obvious! you were the one giving mixed signals!” you rebutted. “that’s what you thought?” you nodded to his question.
“i’m sorry then.” feeling bold, he leaned in to kiss your cheek, “forgive me, yeah?” he breathed. instinctively, you slapped his head (harder than you intended.. oops)
“don’t be so vain now.” you turned your face away from sohee’s, “you’re blushing.” he pestered, causing you to shake your head potently, “am not.”
notes : i love this man tew much... anywaysss i wrote this while on vacation when i had nothing to do loool sorry if it seems rushed !! :(
